Time to Embrace My Privilege

In other words, I went running today.

Three months ago I would never have forseen that I would be outside, running, in 25 degree weather.

Was it cold? Oh hell yeah.

Three months ago I would never have forseen that I would willingly be outside in pouring rain, running in some park, as I did last week.

Did I get soaked? Oh hell yeah.

Last week we had a couple of days of almost spring-like weather. It was in the 50s, and felt actually balmy after weeks of bitter cold and snow. I had not been running in over a month. Late November into December were blur of wedding planning, finals, graduation planning, and the holidays. Usually I would need to get some exercise to deal with the stress, but we had snow and ice, so I was cooped up inside most of that time.

So even though it was pouring rain last week, it was also 50 degrees. I put on my gear and a rain jacket with a hood, drove to some small park, warmed up, and did two circuits of the park before I gave up.

My shins are no longer really a problem. Now my back is the problem. I am not a thin or small woman and I have no core strength. After I've run/walked for bit, my back starts to ache badly and that's when I stop.

Back in September I was hoping by this point I would be so used to running that I would prefer running on a treadmill inside to laying about, and keep it going all winter. I have a treadmill in the house. So far that has not happened. I really want to be outside. I need fresh air (even if it's cold) and sun (if I can get it). As long as there was snow and ice I would not attempt it (I slipped and fell on some ice 3 years ago and broke my wrist), but the thaw dissolved all the snow.

Am I unhappy about this? Disappointed in myself? Ready to throw in the towel?

OH HELL NO.

In fact, the last two times I have gone running have just inspired me. They told me that the autumn running was not an aberration, a brief whimsy just like all the other times I have tried to take up the sport. These brief runs have reinforced for me that I am going to keep on doing this. Even though I have not lost weight. Even though I am a chubby middle aged woman doing the Hobbit Shuffle, panting and wheezing, and not a fleet gazelle with long legs that eat up the miles. Even though I don't look like a runner.