Meadow's Walk

fpu : now with sinking funds

2012-01-28T23:33:00.001-06:00

This next month (Feb) I am trying something new (to me). I am setting up some sinking funds.

Sinking funds were talked about in the first FPU lesson, but I didn't really pay attention. It didn't seem to apply to me. It seems I was wrong.

A sinking fund is where you set aside money every week/month/year for large upcoming expenses. Example: You are getitng married in 8 months, the reception budget is $4000, so you need to put aside $500 a month for the 8 months. Otherwise, you'll have to dig up $4000 at the deadline, and you know it's coming.

Dave mentions sinking funds for things like: putting a new roof on, replacing your car, buying furniture. I am not planning on doing any of those things, and I was overwhelmed with the other 2 types of money he talks about at the beginning of FPU: cash for envelopes and emergency fund savings.

Well I do have things that I need to put money aside for. that I have already moved to putting aside for monthly, and it has been a giant stress relief. Things like:

• getting my hair cut and colored (quarterly)
• renewing my license plates (every Dec)
• buying my city sticker (every July)
• Christmas gift fund

...and some others. Other examples might include car insurance (I pay mine monthly), home insurance, taxes, tuition bills.

But mine needs are more modest. I started out just trying to calculate how much money I needed to save monthly for these various items and adding that to the amount for the general category. For example, I have a "Car" category which is really an "All Transportation" category. It includes gas, tolls, parking, taxis, el fares, car repairs, plates, city stickers, etc.

I can't really do the practice where you just put the money you need for the month into the envelope and spend until the envelope is empty. My envelope might have an additional $100 or more in it I am keeping aside for an upcoming Car expense, right? This is where I was messing up.

Last week, I was listening to the Dave Ramsey Show (not sure of the date) and someone called in with a question along those lines. He was getting messed up because he was putting money in his envelopes that he could not spend monthly. And you are supposed to be on a zero-based budget, so then how does he remember what money has to stay in the envelopes, and what money he can spend?

Dave quickly said, You're doing it wrong. That money goes into a sinking fund. My ears perked up. Then he said, I'm going to send you a copy of my book... and went to commercial.

Drats!

A Google search discovered many blogs written by people who use ING Direct as their sinking fund bank of choice. At ING you open up one main savings account that is linked to a checking account -- theirs or at another bank. From that main account you can set up as many as 25 sub accounts and call them anything you wish. Then you can disperse savings from your main savings into the sub-accounts.

So I opened an account with them right away. I am still waiting for my own checking account to be validated so i can transfer some money into ING and set up my sinking accounts.

Here are some accounts I am setting up:

• Hair and Makeup (to separate from general personal expenses like toothpaste and soap)
• Car Plates
• City Sticker
• Car Repairs
• Trip to see Dave Ramsey Live
• Christmas Fund
• Clothes

I'm going to see how this works for me, keeping in mind that I try things, I tweak them to fit me, and sometimes I stop doing them. There are some poluses and minuses I can see right now:

Plus:
I can rely on the amount that is in the envelopes to be what I can actually spend.
I don't have to carry around a lot of excess cash.
I don't have to keep a running total in my head of what I can spend and what needs to be put aside.
I can see how well I am doing with building up that cash for when I need it.
When the time comes to pay for something that would take quite a hit out of my monthly budget (like my dentists appointments these past couple of months), I will have the money and can stay on-budget.

Minus:
ING is an online bank. They do have an ING Cafe in my city, and in the downtown area (I work downtown) but it is still a few miles from me.
It takes them a couple of days to transfer the money back into my checking account.
Then what? I have to withdraw it? From an ATM?.
This has many more steps than just having the cash on hand.
I LIKE having a lot of cash on hand. It's addicting.
There was always the chance to fudge just a little bit if I wanted to, because I always had money on me.

Right now I am anxious to get started, and I can't. Payday was Thursday, and that is my first paycheck for February's expenses. I have added several new categories to my monthly budget and highlighted them orange, to indicate sinking funds. This has pushed my printed budget to 2 pages. I am still waiting for ING to validate my checking account so I can transfer the money out.

Hopeful that the sinking funds help me tighten up my cash flow even more.

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Photo 1: Gloss Ceramic Piggy Banks. From: "Sinking Funds." If I Were A Wealthy Girl Weblog. LINK

Photo 2: ING Direct. From: "ING announced 1.33 billions USD profit for the first quarter." Financial-Report.Info LINK

fpu : a moment of panic and then back to peace.

2012-01-22T22:13:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I had a surreal moment. It was a repeat of a moment I used to have very often. And I responded the way I used to... for a moment. It was like nostalgia, but in a very negative form. Would that be a flashback?

So it's midway into the pay period, but more relevantly, it's in the last bit of the month. Almost all bills have been paid and almost all money has been spent. The envelopes are getting a bit thin.

Friday night I sat down to re-look at my envelopes. I've had numerous unplanned expenditures, and no, none of them were really needed or required. Well, maybe the black cardigan can skootch into "need" area, but the $38 I spent at the Bath and Body Works sale cannot. I was feeling out of sorts. I have enough to pay everything - it's the saving that suffers.

In looking at the envelopes, where as I mentioned I write down all transactions (including money deposits from the bank), I realized some were thin or empty because I had not added the budgeted money as I had decided on my 2nd paycheck of the month. So I was short here and there, just on the cash on hand. The money was still in the bank.

I looked at every envelope and wrote a list of amounts that were short, added in one bill I had yet to pay, and basically realized I needed $150 in cash to get everything back to where it should be.

I then went to my bank account online and checked my balance. I looked at my transactions there at the same time as I looked at my budget spreadsheet. I was then able to see that I also had 3 auto withdrawls still up coming for bills that had not gone through.

So I added those to the $150 and came up with a total. Subtracted from my remaining bank balance. The end number was $67.00.

In case it's not clear-- the $67 was What Was Left. Meaning it was supposed to go in some category and I didn't put it there. So if it was still there at next payday I would move it into savings.

Anyway.

I had that $67 cushion bopping around in my head Saturday morning. I had been meaning to buy my cousin Dana a little present for her last semester in college. I drove to the art supply store and spent a happy 45 minutes shopping. I did have an envelope for Gifts with money in it, but for some reason (because of lazy money, that psyches me out!) I decided to *swipe*, and thus pay out of the checking account. My next stop after the store was a block or so to the bank to withdraw that $150 anyway. I didn't spend $60 or anything like it. I spent maybe $20.

Left the store, drove to the bank. Keeping in mind, the night before I did all this math and I knew what should be in there. I also knew, from my budget, the dates of the auto withdrawals to come.

So I went to the bank, withdrew my money, got a receipt. Looked at the receipt... almost had a heart attack.

You know what I saw, right? My account was down several hundred from the day before. It was down to like $40. And I had just spent $20.

So that is the moment where I had this PTSD flashback to My Previous Life. Where I would call my bank, or look online, get my balance, think I had remembered everything outstanding, relaxed a bit, went shopping, looked at my account balance après-shopping and realized I did not have enough money to pay the rest of my bills. Or buy groceries. Or gas. Cue: hyperventilation.

I'm just reflecting on that moment. That jolt. The adrenaline. The living-on-the-edge. The knee jerk ohmygodohmygodstupidstupidstupid thoughts.

I mean, that was my usual way of living. Do you know what I mean? Maybe it's just me. But I think not.

Instead of driving off and crying, with my thoughts racing, wondering how to get out of this latest pickle, and cursing myself for my bad math skills, my bad bill-memory, my pesky desire to actually buy things, blah blah blah... I just calmed down.

I moved, almost instantly, into mere curiousity. "hm, I wonder what happened here?" I tried going to my bank on my mobile app but my phone was dying. And the branch was closed for the weekend. Oh, well.

A couple hours later I got online and went to my bank account. I looked at my transactions, and what I had suspected did happen. The largest auto withdrawal, which usually would have gone through Monday, had gone through Saturday morning. And so had another one. Now most of those types of transactions only happen during business hours, so I was not expecting them on a Saturday morning. Then I went shopping. Then I withdrew a wad of cash. Then, I am at the end of the month and any "extra" money has already been moved to savings.

It didn't matter. I had money in my account. It was just weird to see the balance such a low number when the night before it was much higher.

I guess you would have to know me to get it. You would have to know how many times I have been royally screwed over by forgetting that a bill was going to be withdrawn automatically, and then I didn't have enough money, which means my $15 bill was going to have a $30 overdrawn fee on top of it. Or how many times I have done the math wrong in my checkbook. Forgotten a transaction. Added instead of subtracted -- one time, notably, by an entire $100. Then there were the years with TCF, a truly shitty shitty bank, where I would call for my account balance and it turned out that there was a 48 hour lag between transactions going through and being withdrawn and my account balance being adjusted. So I could never, and I mean never, rely upon stupid TCF itself to give me the correct amount in my bank account. All the weeks I have scraped down to the very dregs of my checking account to buy gas or groceries after an unexpected expense. Or because I went to the scrapbook store and spent $25 and I really needed it to stay in the bank for a few more days.

I also wasn't too worried because after all, I do have quite a chunk of cash in my savings account, and a quick online transaction would transfer money over to cover me, if I needed to. I just didn't want to do that.

Today I was at the university and I saw a posting for a townhome to share for $600 a month. Which is very very cheap, especially for this area. I wish I could move in January. Maybe I should go see it anyway. It did say the owner has an adorable dog. Big selling point for me.

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Photo: Janet Leigh in "Psycho." From "Scream Queens." Biography.com. LINK

fpu : needs vs wants. wants vs. needs.

2012-01-19T14:22:00.000-06:00

Whenever it comes out that anyone is working on their finances, it's interpreted as "struggling."

Whenever it comes out that anyone is caring about their spending, and saying "no" to some things... you get judged. Judged as "being broke" and not having enough. Well, technically, if you had enough to buy any little thing the minute you wanted it you would not be a middle class American - you'd be filthy, stinking rich.

Anyway, when you go through FPU, you get judged. (You must be bad/irresponsible with money or you wouldn't be in this mess.) When you confess you are living on a budget a certain population segment will pity you (Poor thing, she has to watch every penny.)

But what really really bugs me is when people judge spending.

Confession: I do it to other people.

So I am a hypocrite. When you have told me that you have to declare bankruptcy because you have been out of work for 2 years, and that you are on the verge of foreclosure... and then you buy both a big screen TV and an iPad in the same week (true story)? I judge.

But going through FPU, I get judged on little expenses. Little spendings. Every time I buy a Coke to drink, I get judged, because really I "should be" drinking water, and by water, I mean free tap water. Or nothing. I should not spend any money on my hair, my clothes, my cell phone plan, etc etc etc ad infinitum.

I'm a person who has been told - by both loved ones and strangers, by credit counselors and bank loan officers - that I am extremely responsible with my money. And yet, I know there are areas where I could have done better.

I still remember in one FPU class where I mentioned having taken a cab that day. Yes sometimes I take a cab. I have spinal issues. I can't walk more than a block. If I have an appointment downtown, last summer I could have (and did) walk. But now I take a cab. If the journey requires 2 bus rides (a transfer) that is $5.50 there and $5.50 back, for a total of $11.00. Two cab rides with tip are $14.00. The difference is a whole $3.00. And yet, I got judged. And because class is at 6:30 amd I get off the train at 6:00 and still need to drive there, every week I would come in with a McDonalds bag and eat dinner in class. One of my classmates exclaimed, "But you are supposed to be saving money!" Said the woman who cut off her cable, but still had a Netflix account. Who took her family of 4 to New Jersey for Thanksgiving weekend.

So the question is -- what is a WANT vs. a NEED. Some needs are easy. I need to eat food. I need electricity, heat, and a phone. I need a way to get to work. I need clothes to wear for work. I need shelter.

Some wants are easy. I want a big flat screen TV. I want a cable package with a DVR. I want to go to the movies. I want the newest iPhone with unlimited data. I want a new car. I want to go to Bali. Want a DSLR.

But then there is the in-between, and how close is that to a Want or to a Need? I do Need to go to the dentist, and I cannot walk, therefore I Need to transport myself. The difference in cost between Need (4 bus fares) and Want (2 cab rides) is $3.00.

Yesterday I read a thread on a message board, basically judging every person who has or owns a smartphone as being a spendthrift. "HOW can anyone use one of those things, in this economy?!?!"

I have a smartphone. It is an iPhone 3GS. It was $50, purchased 3 months ago when my iPhone 3G broke. My monthly bill is $90. It is a $25 increase from my former T-Mobile bill, which was not a smartphone and thus the $25 a month is data only. I initially bought the phone because I was in library school, and libraries (most people don't seem to believe this but it's true) are not about books, they are about technology. Libraries are about information flow, and information comes to us, most frequently, through technology. I was falling behind my much younger classmates who were coming in to library school from college, who knew the difference between an iPhone and an iPod Touch. I was scrambling to keep up with them. I was printing out call letters for books, walking into the stacks, not finding what i needed, and having to walk back to a physical catalog, while my classmates, soon to be my competition for limited job opportunities, were looking at WorldCat through an app on the phone. I wasted a lot of time, which, working full time and commuting while in grad school? Was really hard on me. So I bought a phone and slowly started bringing myself up to the realm of where my classmates and soon-to-be patrons were.

I currently work as a digital librarian. I got this job just weeks after graduation, a feat unheard of libraryland. I work in a very technology-focused environment.

So was this phone a want? or a need? I get judged all the time, because to other people, it's just a Want, and I am spoiled.

Today I am wearing a new cardigan I bought last weekend for all of $18. I did not have it budgeted. But I have had, in my mind, that I NEED A VERY LONG BLACK CARDIGAN. What would Dave say -- I don't "need" a cardigan.

But women know. Women know that sometimes you have clothing you can't wear unless you have other clothing to wear with it. I have work pants I cannot wear unless I wear heels. I have shirts I cannot wear unless I have a longer layering tank or tee underneath. I can't wear any of my jeans with my boots because they are not cut right.

Since I don't have a lot of clothes (relatively), depending on how laundry day falls, what the weather is like, what shoes I can or cannot wear today, and what color bra is still clean, I find myself scrambling for things to wear with a closet full of clothes. One extra long black cardigan can open up many more work outfit options with what I have. I have been looking for one here and there ever since I realized this. So when I saw one at WalMart, for under $20, and it was cut how I wanted, I didn't even try it on. Just bought it in my size.

But technically... did I "need" it?

Did my FPU classmate "need" Netflix? Well she has 2 little kids so in her mind she "needs" something for them. Does she "need" to drive a big SUV that costs so much to fill up? With multiple kids maybe she does. Did she "need" to take a cross country trip at the holidays? Maybe she wantsneedswantsneeds her kids to have holiday memories with Grandma.

Just some thoughts swirling around today. Shortly, I have to go catch a cab.

PS. Just looked at my budget and I had $60 unallocated (bad girl) - so the sweater will come out of that.

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Photo 1: Wants vs. Needs cartoon. From "My wants and needs, time to get back to basics..." TheLongAcre.net. 12 Oct 2011. LINK

fpu : hold on, a change is coming.

2012-01-15T23:27:00.001-06:00

Now that I've switched from *swipe*swipe*swipe* I am dealing with something I never thought about much before....

Loose change.

Actually, I used to keep and use my change all the time. First, I did laundry at a laundromat so I always needed quarters for that. I also used to take the tollway a lot and would pay with change. And I used to buy my daily soda at work from a vending machine. However, I don't do those things any more, so I rarely spend my change unless I make a special effort, and it sometimes piled up.

Here's the thing -- when you swipe a card and the total is $15.17, the $0.17 is taken out of your account and the remaining $0.83 of that dollar stays in your account, and you don't have to think about it much.

When you pay in cash, you give $16 (or $20), and you end up with 83 cents in coins.

When you pay from cash in envelopes... what do you do with the change you get?!?!?

We talked about this in my class, and I've seen various options on the internet. Dave's Envelope Systems come with paper envelopes. After a month, they get a bit ratty just taking bills out and writing on them. Coins would make them wear out faster.

The system also comes with a plastic pouch that could possibly hold coins, and some folks in my class used it that way. I tried it, and did not like it. I did not like the Ziplock-like seal. I did not like that the pouch was designed to lie flat, and coins add bulk. I also didn't like that coins would then be used for various categories, rather than the money staying IN the category. Basically I just didn't like that pouch, or I would have used it more.

I really love the idea of using cute zippered fabric pouches for my envelopes. They are sturdy, pretty, hold coins, machine washable, crushable, are more secure than regular envelopes, and if you get different fabrics for each pouch, it's easy to tell at a glace which category you have in hand.

The down side to this idea, for me, is that I really really like keeping a transaction total on each envelope. On the other hand, doing that has made me a bit lazy. I take money out of any envelope and just make sure to recalculate and re-shuffle my bills later. I don't do the thing where I spend until the envelope is empty, and then stop using that envelope. I just move money around.

But I'm discovering some flaws with that habit, which I might go into another time. At this moment I still find it a valuable practice. It makes me very aware of how often I spend and how much each purchase is. I also end up really looking at my receipts and noticing costs and taxes more. That's important.

But anyway, the point is, I actually had to think about what do do with coins, so here's what I do:

I save my change.

I went through my stuff and found a super cute box with an attached lid that was intended as a recipe card file. I have been using it as a kind of Rolodex since maybe 1994. But hey, all my contacts are electronic these days. I dumped the contents and put the box in pride of place, right next to the door when I walk in and dump my mail. And then I started saving my change and putting it in there.

I decided that I was going to pay for purchases with whole dollars as much as possible, so I could keep my paper envelopes from tearing. When I received change back at the register, I would just drop it in the bottom of my purse like I used to all the time. The difference is.... now every few days I clean it out, and I drop that change into my super cute box with the sunflowers on it.

It's a very cheerful box. It likes change. So do I.

My plan was to deposit the money in the bank periodically. But a funny thing happened once I started to really pay attention to coins.

Dude. You would not believe all the change I had all over. It was like I was afraid I might need a pile of pennies sometime and I just wanted to have stashes everywhere in case I had to leave the country unexpectedly. Here are some of the places I found random change:

• in a change purse, in my purse
• in a zippered pouch, in my purse
• bottom of my purse
• bottom of maybe 3 other pockets in my purse
• bottom of the tote bag I take to work
• bottom of various pockets in the tote bag
• outer jacket pockets
• little cute dishes sitting around that also held paper clips and thumb tacks
• on the shelves of my bookcase
• on the floor of my bedroom
• on my dresser
• in the cup holder in my car
• in the center console of my car
• on the floor of my car
• between the seats of my car
• in the pencil tray in my desk drawer
• in various baskets on shelves and my dresser
• in my pencil and pen organizer at work
• in my desk drawer at work
• under my monitor riser at work

It just went on and on. It got kind of funny. How many places can I find random coins? I'm not talking a ton of money. Sometimes it was just a penny here or there. Or a quarter and a few pennies. The point is, it seemed to be everywhere, and I didn't really keep track of it. It was everywhere because I didn't have a system for it. Every once in a while when I was cleaning out my purse or bag I'd find change, put it all together, and use it for purchases until it ran out. But then I'd have random coins around, and I'd just leave them wherever I had them.

Once I had my little box set up, it all changed (no pun intended). I started collecting it all up. If I found a quarter on the floor under my bed, in the box it went. When I found random change at work, I dropped it in my purse to be cleared out later. Lucky penny in the street went into my pocket, and eventually into the box. It was just funny, is all. Like, I never really noticed or thought about individual coins much before unless I needed them. But once I had A Place for them, then I noticed them more, because I wanted to put them there. Like the dog metaphor I used before, about how dogs just want to be loved and paid attention to, the little pennies just wanted to be valued. To be noticed.

So it piled up, pretty quickly. After a week I found myself counting the coins. Once it got past $20, the box had a deep layer of coinage in it. I would take $20 in coins out and put it in a Ziplock bag and stick it elsewhere to psyche myself into thinking I really didn't have any money. Now, I figured, if I had "an emergency" it would have to be dire for me to touch that cash. Who wants to pay the pizza guy with a baggie of nickels?

I never really got around to depositing the money. As I've mentioned, my bank is a 45 minute drive away. They've also cut their hours deeply, so it's hard to get to a branch during lobby hours.

I had this brilliant (I thought) idea... that I would use my $20 baggie of change for my BLOW money (miscellaneous and fun spending). I figured, I'd have to really want to spend it if I was willing to drag out a Ziplock of change and pay in quarters (so classy). Good thought, but it did not work. I did hate doing that. Instead of using the change I would just take dollars out of my envelopes and write down the amounts. It didn't work for me. I'm not embarrassed by the process, but it takes longer, requires juggling, and when I am commuting and worried about pickpockets, panhandlers, and other scam artists, I just don't need the additional hassle. (This is a great example of how you have to experiment with things, see that some work and some don't, and adjust according to your life and your needs.)

So the change piled up. Now I do calculate my spending on my envelopes, and no I do not round up or down. This possibly is a mistake. I was taking the change out of circulation, but not accounting for it being gone. Whatever, that's what I've been doing usually. I'm not a math major. It seems ok so far.

In late November I had an emergency that depleted my entire savings. You know what? I was out near my bank at the time. And I knew the day before that I would be. So I brought the change along. (This is when I had the brilliant idea that perhaps a large zippered make up bag I was not using might have been a better place to store change...) I had no idea if the bank would give me a hard time, but hey, it is legal tender, it's my money, and I wanted to deposit it.

So I paid this big bill and I went through a bunch of trauma (not meaning to be mysterious but I don't wanna talk about it here)... and the very minute I could, I drove to the bank and handed over a few bags of change to the teller. My bank has a machine that will count my change for me. I deposited my change and some other money and restarted my Baby Emergency Fund right away. And now, I'm still racking up the change.

I kind of like saving my change. I kind of like counting it. I kind of like having a cute box full of coins. I kind of like this easy painless way of saving money.

But I don't know, because some of these fabric pouches are super cute!!!

Other things I want to talk about in future:
• How much cash do I carry on me (Dude, ALL of it) (Really)
• My first time actually doing a monthly budget
• Struggles I'm having (still)
• My first giveaway. I swear, I am giving something away on this blog, and soon, related to this topic.

I signed up to take FPU again. I need the support. So that class is next week and we will see how it goes.

Oh and by the way.... I AM going to see Dave live this spring. I saw an internet ad the day after payday and THAT TIME I had money still in my account. My ticket was $30 and I took it out of my Entertainment envelope, meaning I did not put any cash into that envelope this month (If I decide to see a movie or buy a magazine, I still have my BLOW money.) So I will be saving for the gas and hotel room over the next several months. See how that works? I know it's coming, I know how long I have until the trip, I will calculate my gas and meal costs, look up hotel costs online, and budget monthly so I don't have to scrimp the month of.

Financial Peace. It's good to have. Thanks for reading.

====================
Photo 1: Loose change. From "It All Adds Up." Triumph of the Spirit weblog. 23 Mar 2010. LINK

Photo 2: Zippered money pouches. From "Are You Using the Envelope System?" The Simple, Green, Frugal Co-op weblog. 29 June 2009. LINK

Photo 3: Fabric envelopes. From "Dave Ramsey-inspired Fabric Envelope System." The Beautiful Budget weblog. 12 March 2010. LINK

fpu : payday = envelope PAR-TAY.

2012-01-14T23:48:00.003-06:00

Well Thursday was payday. And that means... I am filling up Ye Olde Envelopes (photo is of some of my actual envelopes and my actual money). And then I left work and went on vacation for a few days. ahhhhh.

Last time, I had just finished explaining that my first toe in the water of my envelope system came with the Quickie Budget. With the QB in had, you are moved a smidge closer to a cash-based budgeting system. to wit - you don't just jump in out of nowhere.

A friend of mine is in bad straights and she was persuaded to sign up for FPU. I am hoping the class gives her some peace about her money, because she is not at peace right now. Thus, I want to continue with my own story. How I Got From There To Here.

How To Get The Money In The Envelopes, Part Two.

I had done my QB and it was the end of September. Payday was not exactly on October 1, so doing a monthly anything just seemed beyond me. So I started small. Real, real small. Itty bitty.

I started with one paycheck, and with only a few categories.

I had not been grocery shopping at an actual grocery store for quite some time. I gave myself the small goal of buying enough food just for taking my lunch to work, and some snacks for home. As I've mentioned, I don't really have cooking privileges where I am living. Not even a microwave. I miss cooking, but it is what it is. So this was a h - u - g - e step for me.

I say this because, for anyone, there is going to be something huge. Something you don't know how to get past. This was one of mine. We all have these things and we all have to work them out. Maybe for you it's just reducing your grocery costs. Maybe it's shopping at Aldi. Maybe it's clipping coupons. Maybe it's online shopping, buying gas at the pump, whatever. In fact, maybe it's the Husband. I didn't have that particular problem, but we all have something. You have to just get past it.

I went to to grocery store. A new one I had never been to, which also helped break me of my old, bad habits.

I went to the ATM and I paid the fee to withdraw the maximum, which is $300. I knew from my QB that I would still have enough left in there for the bills I had to pay. I picked just 6 really easy categories to move to cash, and I had no real idea how much to put in some of them.

• Rent
• Food (all food, including Starbucks, pizza, eating out - not just groceries)
• Gas (any transportation costs - el fares, taxis, tolls)
• Personal (shampoo, tampons, toothpaste, etc - many people lump this into grocery shopping)
• Health (copays, prescriptions, cold medicine, cough drops)
• Savings

My kit came with 6 envelopes. So I labeled them with these names. This was me, sitting on a bench near the service desk at the new Meier in town, labeling envelopes and putting cash in them. Possibly not the smartest move but that's what I did.

I knew how much rent would be, so I put some money for that in there. Not all, but some.

I estimated $120 a month for Gas, based on prior fill ups. I put $60 in there. That was short, since I did not account for taking the CTA sometimes, taxis, paying for parking, tolls, etc. That's ok.

I have some regular expenses that fall into the Personal category, but they are not monthly. I worked out how much those were per month (estimate) and I ended up putting $45 in there. The envelope would then acquire more money next month and so on, until I needed it. I forgot to account for things like maxi pads and shampoo. That was ok.

Health is about $100 a month due to some on-going issues. I put $50 in there.

I arbitrarily decided on $400 a month for food. I really had NO idea. I figured I could knock it down over time. But at the grocery store that day, I was only looking to buy 1) LUNCH items and 2) SNACKS. So I put $100 in that envelope. The rest, I put in the Savings envelope, since it was overage.

Then I took a scrap piece of paper and made a short list of items I was looking to buy. If you have a regular grocery trip and amount, see, you are way ahead of where I was, just swiping my debit card all over the Loop to buy myself lunch and snacks every darn day.

I set off on my mission. I kept my list out and when I put an item in my cart, I wrote next to the name the cost of the item. And yes, I added some things as I went along, if they seemed like good ideas, or I knew I would eat these things. I did not want to have a big surprise when I got to the register. I was trying to change my behavior and really pay attention to what I was spending and on what.

Once I had gone through the store, I went back to the same bench. I sat there and I separated in my cart everything I NEEDED from what I WANTED. How I made these decisions was arbitrary but if it was on my list, I pretty much kept it as a NEED, and everything else was just a good idea.

I then added up the cost of the NEEDED items based on my scribbled notes. And I was real bad at math somehow, because it came out to very close to my budgeted amount. And I was very wrong about that (see below). But I thought about it and decided to get all the items in my cart anyway. I did not have the entire Food amount for the pay period in my envelope, right? Because I only took out $300. And I had some overage that I had put into the Savings envelope, I am could use that.

It turned out I did not need to, because my math was off by about $50. Yes, I know, that is sad! I was shocked at how much less it was than I had projected.

So before I left, I sat down on the same bench and looked very closely at my receipt and compared it to my scribbled list to see where I messed up. I even went back into the store with my groceries in the cart (in my bags) to look at the shelf in one case, because the amount was so far off (turns out I do not know how to read grocery shelf labels correctly).

I wrote down on my envelope how much I spent on FOOD and subtracted. I subtract on another piece of paper because there is nowhere to do math on the envelope itself. But I checked that math twice.

And then... I went to the cashier, I watched her ring it up, and I was shocked at how off I was in my adding up. I pulled out the Olde Envelope binder, opened up the right envelope, and gave her cash. I took my change in coins and dropped them in my purse (more on Change later) and the bills went right back in there, with the receipt.

So that was my first foray into envelopes and cash. I kept the receipt and my original list with the prices on it tucked into a fold of my envelope system, just to keep track for the future. I also find that now, I keep receipts for some time, because I more often return items to the store if they are not exactly what I wanted.

Now here is what happened after that:

I had only taken out $300. I knew from my Quickie Budget that I needed $XXX.00 out of that paycheck to pay bills online, and that money needed to stay in my account. I had withdrawn $300 and bought most fo the food I would eat for the week. But I still had some random, lazy money in my checking account.

I want to emphasize that because it is an interim step that FPU does not teach you.

There were 3 types of money from that paycheck:

1) money that needed to stay in the account for known bill paying
2) money I took out for just a few categories, to see how much I needed
3) What Was Left

The What Was Left is very important at this stage.

• I did not know what other spending I might need to do in the next two weeks.
• I did not know if I had enough cash in my categories to cover my expenses.
• I did not have any money in savings, so savings would come out of the What Was Left.

It was basically a financial Demilitarized Zone. A buffer. A No-Man's Land. I did not forsee, could not forsee, what else I might need to spend or buy. I also knew $300 was not enough cash for all the cash categories, and I would be taking more money out (which I did, the next weekend).

My goals were very very miniscule at this point.

I just think, when everything is going to Hell In A Handbasket around you, the tendency is to swing too far the other way, try to control everything, try to be very tight about it all immediately. Then you get sick of it and can't take it, and you snap.

So my very very teeny tiny, itsy bitsy goals were:

• take my lunch to work at least 3 days
• take a soda to work at least 3 days (I drink one a day and it gets expensive)
• eat dinner at home at least 2 days
• eat what I bought
• not spend any other money unless absolutely necessary (like I ran out of shampoo or something)
• write down everything I spent and on what
• observe, take note, and adjust as needed

I succeeded in those goals. At the end of the 2 weeks, I still had money in my envelopes. I still had What Was Left, so I moved it to savings. I was also working a lot to add to savings in every way I could.

SUCCESS!!!!

I felt immensely successful. And it only took 2 weeks. It did not take me getting out of debt or saving my whole Baby Emergency Fund, or being perfect, or doing it all right the first time. It just took that little bit. I kept my goals small, I met them and I got some traction. Feeling successful? Is very motivating, for the record.

So on my next payday... I did it again. I added 2 more categories, and I added more money to my Car envelope, since I knew I would have to renew my plates in December. Anything I had to spend that was not from an envelope came from What Was Left, and I noted these things so I knew what other categories I might need.

By the end of October, I had a month's worth of data to use in creating my first every written monthly budget.

So you see, I was not flying in the dark. I was not flailing, wondering what I spent my money on and how much and where and why. I was not worried abut what I might forget. I knew. Not perfectly, but close enough. I had envelopes covered in amounts and dates. I knew that if I wanted to buy a soda while at work, the train station kiosk (most convenient) was $2.26, the Walgreens was $2.05, and the Sears Tower (least convenient) was 2 for $2.22 (also cheapest). But bringing a Diet Coke with me, purchased from the grocery store, was a mere 60 cents. I knew how much coffee was, how much take out was for lunch, how often I filled up my car, how much that cost, and how much I spent in tolls and city parking in a month.

In November, I took my first shot at writing and sticking to a written budget for The Whole Month. Quite a challenge. To come.

====================

Photo: My envelopes and my cash. Taken by me. 29 Dec 2011.

and now for something completely different.

2011-12-30T19:22:00.000-06:00

A • Attached or Single? Single

B • Best Friend? Izabella

C • Cake or Pie? Cake. But I'll take pie, sure!

D • Day of choice? Saturday

E • Essential item? Lip balm

F • Favorite color? Blue

G • Gummy bears or worms? Jelly babies. From a man wearing a long scarf.

H • Hometown? Chicago

I • Favorite Indulgence? Daytime naps.

J • January or July? In Chicago? July.

K • Kids? None

L • Life isn't complete without? Sleeping in!

M • Make up something bc you didn't like this one? Chocolate mint

N • Number of Bro & Sis? 1 Bro 3 Half sis

O • Oranges or Apples? Oranges

P • Phobia and Fears? Closed cabinets and doors

Q • Quote? "I won't keep calm, and you can F*@# off."

R • Reason to smile? 3! Day! Weekend!

S • Season of choice? Early spring

T • Time To Wake Up? 7:00. Ok, 7:15. Ok, really really 7:30.

U • Unknown fact about me? Um, I'm left handed?

V • Vegetable? Best - peas. Worst - tomatoes.

W • Worst habit? Noticing that the X is missing

Y • Your favorite food? Hawaiian pizza

Z • Zodiac sign? Libra

Wishing you a happy and safe New Years!

fpu : i guess it looks like a lot of work.

2011-12-29T17:45:00.000-06:00

Last night I had a funny/odd moment.

I have been used one of these Dave Ramsey envelope systems, in one form or another, since late Sept. So, 3 months. I bought this deluxe envelope system a couple weeks ago, and it is all pretty and red, like a big wallet. I buy food and shampoo and take out and gas and whatnot at stores all over the city and suburbs. No one has even commented or seemed to notice my dorkish fishing in envelopes for cash, or said envelopes covered in my chicken scratch math. So I have kind of forgotten how odd it may appear.

Except when I stand in line at stores and watch the people ahead of me in line go *swipe*swipe*swipe*swipe*. And the complete lack of actual money changing hands. They are the ones that look odd to me, frankly.

Anyhoo, last night I stopped at CVS for 2 quick necessities and I finally got to the register, the youngish man behind the counter rang up my two meager items. Yep I had 2 items on my list to get, and I bought just those two items, despite all the clearance temptations.

Usually I might have some cash pulled while I am awaiting my turn but it was late and I was tired. Since it was the night before payday, I had to make sure I took the cash from the proper envelope. I am pretty lazy about this. I actually take cash out from wherever at the moment, usually my Food envelope since it's the one on top and the one with the most cash in usually. I keep the receipt, and later write down the amount, re-substract, and reshuffle my bills later, when more convenient. But, the night before payday the Food envelope is very slim (as it should be). The point being, I opened up my Fake Wallet and went to the correct envelope in the center, and pulled out the correct amount to pay.

The youngish man behind the counter made a comment about this. I can't even remember word for word, I was that spacey and tired. But it was along the lines of, "What are all those dividers for?"

To which I replied, something like, I divide up my money into different categories. Or somethingmumblemumble.

And he then commented, "Oh so you take the money out of the different sections based on what you're buying?"

And I said yes.umhm.mmumblemumble....

Then the magic moment. He said: "Seems like a lot of work."

Oh there are sooooo many things I could have said to that. But in my befuddled state, I just said quietly [oh this is rich]

"Well, everyone has their hobbies."

And we moved on.

DURR!

I got back in my car and I revived a bit, thinking of all the things I could have said, and did not. Because, fair point. Compared to *swipe*swipe*swipe*swipe* this seems like "a lot of work." I guess so.

I have already mentioned how it is in large part purposeful to make spending "more work" than Ye Olde *swipe*swipe*swipe*swipe*. And that works for me. Because it is a bit more of a bother for me than just whipping out a card and swiping it (and then wondering what the hell I bought and why I have no money), I don't do it as cavalierly or as often. I don't spend as easily. Which is The Point.

I've had people tell me they can't use cash, because cash runs through their hands like water, because with their credit or debit card they can see their transactions and track their spending. Well, I can't. I look at $92 at Target from 2 weeks ago and I have no freaking clue what I bought. Heck I look at a receipt from Walgreens from just a few days ago, and sometimes I can't decipher the little codes for the items I have purchased. Not to mention the gas station purchases, that I think are for gas, but they are for gas and... You know gas....and coffee, gas...and lunch, gas...and lottery tickets, gas...and and and. Then I wonder why I have to spend so much on gas every month.

The other thing is, cash also runs through my hands like water... when I have it randomly stuffed into a pocket of my purse or a pocket of a wallet, jammed in with coupons, receipts, business cards, stamps, and whatever other flotsam and jetsam I have in there.

You know when it doesn't? When it's labelled. When it's divided up. When every dollar has a little nametag. When I go to CVS and I look in my PERSONAL envelope for money, and I ignore the GAS envelope, the HEALTH envelope, the FOOD envelope, and so on. And when I look at the outside of the envelope, and it says EXACTLY how much cash is in that envelope, and I know that is the actual amount I have.

No, cash does not run through my hands like water, when it's like that.

But the point... is it work? I guess. A little bit more effort. But here is it Thursday before new years, and my written budget for January is completed. It was pretty easy because I just took my December budget, made a copy, wrote in the new due dates, and fussed a bit with some of the more fluid categories. I always spend the same amount on Food. I always give myself $25 to Blow. I had to figure out my Car category a bit more, because I need money for an oil change on top of just gas this month. I had a lot of money for Gifts in December, and I am putting a small amount in there in January, to carry over so I can build it up for birthdays this year. Because I am going to the dentist again, my savings is very low in January, and I am not putting any money into Clothes. Which sucks, because February is a great time to shop. But I need the dentist more.

Other than that.. it was pretty much the same as last month.

Today is also payday. I brought my lunch so I haven't spent any money today... except. Except that I opened my spreadsheet, and I went to the website for each of the bills listed on it, logged in, and paid the amount I had indicated to pay for the first half of January. And now I am done.

I guess it is a bit more effort. But I don't mind. It's like the person who lives in a messy house visiting the person who lives in the tidy house, and commenting that it seems like an awful lot of extra work to actually be washing dishes, vacuuming, and picking up dirty clothes off the floor. As opposed to...? Laying on the sofa reading a good book. Hey I love laying on the sofa reading a good book. I'll be doing that tonight for sure.

I guess my point is, having a nice home is always going to be more effort than having a filthy, messy home. Having clean clothes to wear is always more work than shlumping around in 3 day old pj pants. Writing this blog is always more work than not. It just depends on how you want to spend your time.

Personally, I like rifling through my money. My actual money. it's fun for me. I like seeing the debt numbers going down, the savings numbers going up. I like it. It's not work to me, just because there is some effort.

But damn, yes, I do want a Kindle. Bad.

So I just signed up on the website to TAKE THE CLASS. Take it again! I have a permanent membership so I can go to any class, any time, any where.

Did you know you can attend the first class for FREE? Yep. you register online for the class you want (just search by zip code to find one in your area), then you show up that day/night. You watch the first lesson, you meet other people, you talk about your reasons for being there, your concerns, or you just listen. If you want to take the rest of the 12 weeks, then you can buy a membership kit. But one thing at a time.

Did I mention new classes are starting in January and you can go to the first class for FREE?

======================

Photo: Dave Ramsey Deluxe Envelope System in red. From DaveRamsey.com. Jan 2012. LINK

fpu : q & a

2011-12-27T11:12:00.000-06:00

Happy holidays! I hope whatever holiday you celebrate, it was happy. And I especially hope that your holiday spending was based solely on your income and what money you had saved, and not paid for on borrowed money. I know mine was! :-)

I really meant to post a follow up to my last post right away. It is mostly written and everything. But then as I re-read it, I was struck by the thought that perhaps, I am making it sound like it's easy. I want to be encouraging and also, pragmatic. This is not rocket science. Almost anyone can do it. But just like with running or cooking or scrapbooking, anything I have learned how to do from others, I want to apply it to my life, which is decidedly non-mainstream. I want to know what works and what doesn't, and why.

FPU is "easy" like Weight Watchers is "easy." The method is not hard in itself. But the doing of it can be very hard.

This month, December, has been very challenging. For many reasons, not all of which have to do with Christmas. I feel out of sorts right now, like I don't know what I have and how much, like I don't know what I spent and where. It's a combination of a Christmas bonus from work, given to me on a gift card (so I went back to swipe-swipe-swipe), trying to do a credit card balance transfer, an emergency emptying my savings, and Christmas spending. I did my best, but I am definitely not as on top of things as I want to be.

So I don't want to say it's "easy." It can be done. And I really appreciate having a system or a method to follow. It helps me make decisions and set priorities. But the doing is not always "easy."

So I'll get back to that topic eventually.

I got some questions from falwyn on that post that I thought I would answer.

I'm curious about how any online interactions interact with the envelope system. For example, any bills you might schedule online, or any shopping you might do there. (I live in tiny rural town, and though I could definitely stand to curtail some of my online spending, I would also not really see it as viable to give it up entirely.) I wonder about this as regards any other category that you might want to still do with a card - for me, gas. I absolutely do not want to stop paying at the pump, particularly because I like to stay far away from all the temptations of the inside of the store. Anyway, if you have comments on any of that I'd love to hear it.

There are many ways to answer these questions. It's hard to know where to start. So much of the answer is tied into my budgeting, which I have not posted about yet.

One thing I want to point out, which is important. Our society is set up to make spending money easy. Consider these examples in the comment:

1) Scheduling bill payments online.
2) Online shopping.
3) Buying gas at the pump with a card.

Not meaning to pick on anybody; these are just some really good examples.

One of the very basic behavior modification methods used in FPU is to transfer spending money from easy to hard. Or at least, not-so-easy.

• Easy = Mindless
• Easy = Not Paying Attention
• Easy = Spending More Than You Intended
• Easy = Fun, Not Painful

Dave says: "One study in particular conducted by MIT and published in Carnegie Mellon magazine, indicated through the use of magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) that the pain centers of the brain are activated when you spend cash." (click to read entire story - it's good)

I do not want my spending to be "easy." I do not want it to be mindless. I want all my spending to be mindful. I want to feel it when I do it.

Therefore, I have moved myself from a place where my spending is easy, convenient, and therefore mindless, to a place where it takes some effort to spend money, and I thus forced to really think about it before I do it. FPU is designed that way, because it is a behavior modification system to teach people how to be mindful with money.

To specifically answer these 3 scenarios:

1) Scheduling bill payments online/automatic payments.
This is tied up in how I budget for the month. The very short answer is, my budget has a line for every monthly bill as well as for spending categories. Therefore, I know with every paycheck how much I need to stay in my checking account to pay bills, and I take out the rest and keep it in cash.

My own budget has several vertical “regions.” See the example budget I did for my sister last month, using sample numbers, which I color-coded for easy reference (click to see larger).

First “region” (blue) is all the budget categories with the total in each to pay or spend per month. Next to that is total income. The budget numbers subtract from the income column, and that is the running total. I could have just these 2 columns and that would be fine.

Next is the breakdown by pay period. The orange section is the income for the first half of the month - her and her husband’s paychecks combined. Each line indicates how much of that paycheck is going to that bill or category.

For example: Rent and utilities are paid out of the 2nd paychecks, so those amounts in orange are $0. The green section is the 2nd half of the month, and there you see the rent and utilities payments. Cable is $0 in the green section. It is due earlier in the month, so it is paid from the orange section.

In this way, I have the auto withdrawals and bills I need to pay “scheduled” based on which paycheck they come out of. On my version of the budget, my car insurance is automatically withdrawn on the 7th, so I have the amount for that in my “orange section” and that line says $0 in my “green section.” The column to the far right has a list of due dates for each bill so I know when to pay it.

My own budget is done a little differently, but this is a good example.

2) Online shopping.
The short answer is, I don’t do it. FPU is about getting out of debt and then building wealth, not buying stuff. I am on Baby Step #1 - Save $1000 in cash for an emergency fund. Until my debt is paid, I don’t buy anything I don’t need (theoretically - in reality I do, sometimes, because we all want to live, not just exist). My experience of online shopping is that it’s mostly for wants, not needs. I don’t buy milk, bread, diapers, shampoo, gas, etc online. There’s nothing I truly need to buy online.

The other thing is...hm. Well. Everybody has got their thing. Their thing is the thing they won’t or can’t change. Their thing they have to live with or work around. Online shopping is not my thing, so I don’t have to work it out. But I do have a thing, or a couple of them, and those things require thought, experimentation, making mistakes, recovering, and trying again.

For example, I won’t switch banks, and my bank is a 45 minute drive. So how do I get my cash out of my bank? That’s my thing. I really have to work with that. Another thing - I can’t cook at home, and I can’t really store perishables either. Therefore, I eat a lot of takeout. Most people cut their eating out to almost $0. I really can’t do that, unless I want to suffer from severe malnutrition. That’s my thing. I have to work with it.

Dave may say this or that, but Dave also has his own house, and he has a wife who is a full time stay at home mom, who does the grocery shopping, the cooking, and the cleaning up. Dave brings his lunch every day like that is some kind of accomplishment, but he is not the one shopping for the food, planning the meals, cooking the meals, washing the pots and pans, and packing the leftovers. If Dave had to do all that himself every single day, plus work full time, plus commute, plus do his own laundry, Dave would be eating lunch out more often.

Speaking of Dave…Funny story. Several weeks ago, I got an email from Dave Ramsey promoting a speaking tour. There was one date that was close enough for me to attend. Now, Dave’s pricing is based on time. The first xxxx people get tickets at $xx, the next xxxx get tickets a bit higher in price, the next xxx get tickets higher, etc. Therefore the faster you buy your ticket, the cheaper it will be.

I wanted to go. Tickets at the time I got the email were up to $20. I could afford that, and the date was in the spring so I could save money for the trip.

But. I could only buy the ticket online. I had $20… but I didn’t have $20 in my checking account. All my money was on me in cash. I had maybe $13 in my checking account. I had several hundred in my savings, but that is for emergencies only. Seeing Dave Ramsey live is not an emergency. The other option was a credit card. But we are supposed to have cut up our credit cards.

Oh Dave, Dave, who came up with this plan? Do you not see how the very people your talk is for should not be able to attend, if they are doing your system correctly?!?!?

So no, I will not be seeing Dave speak live.

Now, all that being said, Dave was having a $10 sale on his website, and after 3 months my paper envelopes were really ratty and needing replacement. So I bought this little number online. But I believe I have mentioned I am a little out of whack from December. Not over budget, but out of whack.

3) Buying gas at the pump with a card.
The short answer is: I don’t do it. The longer answer is, this was a big topic of discussion in my FPU class, because walking into the gas station and standing in line to pay is a giant hassle. No one wants to do it. Everyone wants to swipe at the pump, for whatever reason.

I don’t do it. I don’t want to swipe anything for any reason.

I have budgeted $30 a week for gas, based on my usage over the past 6 months. Since I commute to work daily by train, I don’t drive much daily anymore. Therefore, on weekends I have time to fill up, and I do so then. I take $30 in cash out of my envelope while in the car, I walk in and buy $30 on my pump, and that’s what I put in my car.

The first time I did this, I paid $35, since I wasn’t sure yet how much I would budget for gas. A fill up was $33.85. Oh you bet I walked back in there and waited in line, again, and got my change. I also got my receipt. Toto we are so not in Kansas any more. Since I only fill up once a week, and it’s usually late Saturday evening, I have the time. Doing this really woke me up. Made the whole thing seem real in a very visceral way. Yes, sometimes I have to wait in line. Twice. Yes, sometimes $30 is not enough for a total fill up.

Yes, sometimes I buy something else in the store, like coffee or a soda. I know I am planning to do so when I walk in. I bring $35 or $40 with me instead of $30. I get a receipt. I subtract the extra amount from my food budget (writing it on my Food envelope, and recalculating my total). At some point I reshuffle my money to match the totals written on my envelopes.

For others in my class, buying gas at the pump is their thing. If you have a baby, of course you are not going to drag the kid in and out of the gas station while you buy your gas, especially in the cold. That’s not a choice based on laziness. We discussed various options, which included keeping the amount you have budgeted for gas in your bank account and buying using a debit card, as well as the idea of purchasing gas gift cards at the beginning of the month, storing the card in the Gas envelope, and using those specifically and only for gas.

So that’s how I try and deal with those issues. The short answer, for me, is always: the easier and more convenient it is to spend money, the more I have to watch what I am doing. The more likely it is that I will mess myself up. People have to use different methods to deal with their things. I have things, you have things.

The question is always: can you afford your things? Are your things holding you back? I have had to really think about that.

================

Photo 1: Holiday budgeting. From "Christmas will send one quarter of us into debt." By Lucy Bower. ThinkMoney.com. 21 Dec 2011. LINK

Photo 2: Budget sample. Created by me. Dec 2011.

Photo 3: Dave Ramsey Deluxe Envelope System in red. From "Longing for Freedom." A Blossoming Homestead Weblog. 22 Sept 2010. LINK

fpu : envelopes + the quickie budget.

2011-12-14T12:28:00.001-06:00

When I've talked to family and friends about Financial Peace University, many are very interested. The giant hold up? Switching to a cash-based spending system. Using Ye Olde Envelope System. It was one of the biggest roadblocks for me as well.

Starting with envelopes was hard. It was intimidating. But it was all mental, because in reality, it's not that hard. I have a freaking Masters degree, ok? It's not that hard. It just seems hard, because it's new. And it's "less convenient". Which is the point - it's less easy to spend money now. It's impossible to mindlessly spend on anything.

I did it. And now I can tell you it is one of the biggest changes, the most positive changes I have made. And also? It becomes a habit. A positive habit. After the first time, I just repeated what was successful and changed what wasn't. No problem.

There are actually many ways to do it. Many people do it virtually, not even using real cash, and there are apps and software to do it that way (I think that removes one of the most positive parts of this system -- making it hard to waste money thoughtlessly, but it is possible to do it that way). Some banks allow you to open and maintain multiple accounts, which you can use for various categories, especially when you are building up for some future expense.

For me, I use paper envelopes and I use actual cash. I love it. I take my cash out of the envelopes regularly. I count it and recount it. I shuffle money around as needed. I check what I have in cash against what my envelopes say I should have. I keep a runny tally of what I buy and how much it is. I watch the numbers go down as I spend. It's the day before payday, and I have $6 in cash on me for Food. That's it. And that's how it should be.

I have read many ideas for envelopes. Obviously, just a stack of regular business sized envelopes will work. You can also make or purchase very pretty envelopes.

I also read a blog where the family uses pretty zippered pencil pouches for each envelope. Those are very durable and they will hold coins (more on coins later).

With my FPU membership I received a kit of materials, and one of these was a booklet of small envelopes bound into what looked like a dark brown checkbook. It came with several loose envelopes as well. Each of these envelopes has a ledger printed on it for keeping a running tally. (See Photo 1 above)

It's pretty convenient, it's subtle and discreet. It doesn't look so girlie, so the husband can carry it too.

But I was reluctant. Here were my hold ups in starting this system:
• I was used to being disconnected from my money as money, and from my spending as spending.
• My bank does not have any branches close to me. How do I take out this much cash without having to make numerous ATM withdrawals with numerous fees?
• I didn't know what cash categories I needed to have. I figured I needed Food, Gas, Personal Items...?? What other things did I spend money on?
• I didn't know how much cash I actually had left to spend after my most important bills were paid. So how do I know how much to take out of the bank?
• I work in an office downtown, so once I leave the house I don't go back for 10 hours. What money should I carry with me daily? How much? How do I track it? What if I lose my money or get mugged?
• I don't get paid on the 1st and 15th. My first paycheck of the month can be as late as 6 days in. How do I do a monthly budget that doesn’t include money coming in on the first day of the month?

In FPU classes, this is a process you go through with your classmates. The process of: being sort of afraid and uncertain, but doing it anyway. Knowing you will make mistakes, and doing it anyway. Feeling reluctant, and doing it anyway. Not being sure how to proceed... and doing it anyway. You getting the point?

As Dave Says: This is a marathon, not a sprint. No one is supposed to do all this in one day or one week. You ease into it. Slowly.

First - The Quickie Budget

I looked at my bank account online and found out how much income I had in a month, based on the past few months. (just an average or a good estimate - it’s not a math exam) Wrote it down. I estimated what Dave calls The Four Walls: How much do I need for food? (total ballpark - I picked $400 a month, arbitrarily) For each utility? For rent? For car/gas? (do-able using old transactions online and looking for gas stations). Added it all up. This is my basic money I need to live.

Then I looked at and wrote down every monthly payment or expense I was paying out of my bank account, other than these. So that was mostly debt repayment. Added that up, for another number.

Subtracted it all from my monthly total income. First I subtracted the Four Walls - this is what I need to live. Living comes first. Then I subtracted the bills.

Very important - I did not calculate my debt repayment first, just because that is a known number, and easy. And then see how much I had left to live on. First you need the bare minimum to live. Once you have food, rent, keep the lights on, and some way to get to work, then you can address the rest of your expenses. Luckily I am not in that bad a shape, but some people are. The Quickie Budget Form doesn’t even have places to write down student loans or credit card payments on it.

This in itself was a revelation. A different way of looking at my money. First I need to live. First I need to eat.

I was then able to mark off the categories or bills I would move to a cash basis (for instance, I pay my rent in cash). I was then also able to add up my monthly standard bills and figure out how much money I had left, after my regular bills were paid.

So this process addressed, at least in a minimal way, some of the hold ups I had:

• I found out what my actual income was per month. If you have varying hours or work for yourself, there are ways to address that. I just didn’t need them, so this is what I did.

• I found out how much I was paying out in debt payments per month, total.

• I minimally figured out some categories. I minimally picked some numbers to go in each category, just to start.

• I picked what I would be moving to a cash basis, and what I would continue to pay online.

• Then I was able to add up about how much cash I would need per month, divide by 2, and that was my per paycheck cash withdrawal.

This is a really easy process if you’ve mostly been using card/s to run your life, since you can look at transactions online. 20 minutes! It’s a QUICKIE Budget. Just get a round number in there. Just write something down. If it’s wrong, change it when you find out. JUST PICK A NUMBER AND WRITE IT DOWN.

So if you are starting from nothing, and don’t know where to begin, we began here. And then we sat with it. Didn’t jump into envelopes. Didn’t withdraw cash. Didn’t change much. We were, at this point, working on saving a $1000 Baby Emergency Fund in cash. That requires things like cutting off cable, buying groceries and eating at home, brown bagging your lunch, selling things around the house, picking up overtime at work, babysitting, cleaning someone’s house. It’s a lot right there.

We took 2 weeks of saving and having this Quickie Budget done before the first of October came, and then we moved to envelopes. So if you want to do the process in The Total Money Makeover, I suggest the same. Don’t do it all in a weekend, unless Cold Turkey has worked for you in the past. Consider also if you have a family, they need to be on board with this, and they need to be helping.

Next up: more on the Envelope System.

=====================

Photo 1: Cash in the Dave Ramsey Basic Envelope System. "The Credit Card Monster." Simply Mel Weblog. n.d. LINK

Photo 2: Pretty cash envelope system. "The Cash System: More information than you ever wanted to know." Kelleigh Ratzlaff Designs Weblog. 10 Jan 2010. LINK

fpu graduate.

2011-12-13T17:50:00.001-06:00

Well, my 13 weeks is over. I am a Financial Peace University graduate. I had to miss the last class because I had a funeral that evening. I am left with a curiously unfinished feeling. But since I have bought the membership, I can re-attend any time I want, any where. I am planning on finding a clas in the new year so I can keep on track, keep gettng support and ideas, and attend the 2 classes I missed. I actually wish I could run a class, but for that you have to have a church to sponsor (or buy the teaching materials and get people to attend) and that is not happening.

In case you were wondering how it went...

When I started, I really didn't know how I could possibly save $1000 in one month (as Dave Says) or even in two. My budget is very tight. I make decent money, but I am very far in the hole due to the long recession and my career change. I have tried ways of generating more income but nothing has panned out thus far.

Where I Was:

I had no idea how much I spend in a month on food, gas, personal items, etc.
I didn't know what spending categories I needed and used, other than food, gas, personal items, and regular monthly bills. I knew there were more.
I make enough to cover my expenses, but I had no real play in my month and couldn't really save anything.
Having money in savings made me feel somewhat uncomfortable, not safe.
I never actually knew how much money I had to spend. I always had bits and pieces of money here and there.
I had very little idea of exactly what my interest rates were on various loans, or even the exact total of my student loans -- though I knew the exact monthly payment amounts and the due dates for everything.
I didn't know what my credit score was, but I suspected it was not good.
I lived paycheck to paycheck, and if I got through a month with money left over, I called it good.
Once-in-a-while expenses (like renewing my plates) would throw me for a loop and then I'd struggle to catch up.
I had no way of handling emergencies other than credit cards or not buying food. I lived with a low level of anxiety over my car breaking down, my teeth needing dental work, or my dog getting sick.
I had spent time before (years, in fact) in tracking my spending, but I never was able to create and stick to any kind of budget, usually due to minor emergencies and unforseen expenses messing me up.
My car insurance had been suspended for supposed non payment (a long story) and I didn't even know. Yeah, I thought I was insured, and I wasn't! For months!

Two weeks ago I had an emergency. It was traumatic, but not financially. I was able to pay for what I needed to out of my savings, and not out of my future paychecks. My energy went solely into dealing with the emotional fallout only of the emergency - not the financial issues. I immediately put money back into my savings account, whatever I had. I am back to building up my savings. It may take a few months because I am out of things to sell and have consolidated all my money.

Where I Am Now:

I know how much money I have, everywhere, all the time.
I know what my spending categories are.
I know how much I spend in each of them.
I know how much a 20 oz. bottle of Diet Coke costs downtown, because I drink one every day. I know that it is $2.24 at certain news stands, $2.51 at Jamba Juice, $2.05 at Walgreens, $2.11 in the Sears Tower ("Willis" Tower) news stand. I know it is 65 cents if I bring it with me to work.
I have $400 on me, in cash, right now (shhhh, don't tell robbers). Most of it is allocated for things I have to pay out in the 2nd half of the month.
I know all my interest rates and all my balances on every single loan -- credit cards, student loans, personal loans, etc.
I have reveiwed my credit report.
I regularly live with less than $15 in my checking account, and I don't care.
I feel uncomfortable with less than $250 in savings. I am uncomfortable right now!
I have a written budget, on a spreadsheet, for the whole month of December.
I buy groceries and bring my lunch to work regularly, and I eat dinner at home regularly.
I have car insurance with a fantastic agent. I know exactly how much coverage I have, for what, and how much it costs. I know when they will withdraw the payment from my account and how much it will be.

Most indicative:

For 18 years, I have had to renew my plates by Dec 31st (I always seem to buy cars in December). And for 18 years, I have bought my sticker on Dec 30, or sometimes at 11:30 pm on Dec 31st, from the 24 hr currency exchange. I have always had to use cash gifts from Christmas to pay for the renewal, because all my cash in December went for Christmas. This year, I already have my sticker. I bought it with money I had been putting aside and compiling since October. It probably took only 15 minutes to buy it. It probably took the same amount of time as other years, but it did not feel as stressful and frantic. Because I wasn't doing it at the last minute, because I wasn't wondering how I could pay for it.

It really helped me to read blogs that gave details of exactly what people do or have done. I got great ideas and adapted some to my own situation. So I’m going to cover a few of the things I learned along the way. And since I can be rather prolific when it’s a topic I am learning about, I will break it up into a series. Come back soon for the next installment. Some topics I will cover:

• Switching to a Cash-Based Envelope System.
• Creating a Written Budget and Using It
• Shifts in Attitudes Towards Money
• Random Tips and Tricks

and whatever else I think of.

If you're not interested, that's ok. I don't mind. Come back some other time!

=======================

1. Photo: Financial Peace Junior. From "Money School is Now in Session." Matt McGee Weblog. 6 Aug 2008. LINK

i miss running.

2011-12-12T13:10:00.001-06:00

My posts last year at this time were all focused on running. I could not wait until the warmer weather so I could spend more time building speed and distance.

Well, what happened? My spine happened. I have had spinal problems for a few years now. You know it's bad when laying flat in bed causes pain. I have had an MRI, a painful nerve test, and other diagnostic tests. Once I got past the shin splints I discovered I still could not run or even walk an entire mile without stopping due to pain.

My spine is so bad now that I can barely walk more than a block without pain. It's hard to letterbox. It's hard to grocery shop. Forget about carrying anything or even walking slowly any distance. It's so painful. I walk 2 blocks between the train platform and my office daily. Some days I can only make it one block and then I have to sit and rest for a moment. Not rest my legs or my lungs - take the pressure off my lower back.

I have been to the doctor. He said even surgery was just a temporary fix. He suggested some exercises. Just the same regular stretching exercises I have always done.

The thing I liked was going OUTSIDE. Even in rain, even in snow, I liked going outside, getting fresh air, moving and seeing the landscape change. Staying in my house and trying to find a few empty inches to do some exercises is not working for me.

Even before I ran, I was a great walker. I loved taking walks, cold, snow, rain, summer, winter, fall. I had a dog, just so I could take her for long walks, and it forced me to go outside every day no matter the weather. Now I can't even shop at Walmart. I can't stand in the line that long.

I miss running. I miss it a lot. Last week I walked with some coworkers to a restaurant for our holiday luincheon. I got terrible shin splints after only a couple of blocks. After about 5 blocks I didn't think I could make it and I was looking for a cab.

It really sucks. So that's why I don't write about running any more. :-(

====================

Photo: Fat runner. From: "Cool as a Cucumber." A Failed Unicorn Weblog. 31 March 2011. LINK

fpu : a big emergency.

2011-12-05T17:10:00.001-06:00

This week will be my last class of Financial Peace University. I will miss going to this nice church, with nice people, every week. I will miss the support and friendship. I will miss learning new things.

I have been reflecting on my experience. Before I ponied up what seemed like a chunk of money for this class, I did some research online. It was hard to find any information that was not put out by the Dave Ramsey organization, and of course, they are involved in selling their product.

For me, I can say this. I read the book The Total Money Makeover several years ago. I thought it was more than a little crazy, and not applicable to my life. I went on with what I had been doing. I got used to living in what felt like semi-poverty, and always being worried.

I did not even realize that's how it felt until I had a personal emergency over the weekend that depleted my Baby Emergency Fund, which wasn't even fully funded. And I had to run my credit card back up to the limit (this would be a no-no in Dave's World, but I am telling you, this really was an Emergency, and I needed every penny), after paying it off and not using it for several months, and enjoying watching the numbers go down.

After I wrote the Big Check, I had to take care of some related things. When I finally had a moment to breathe, I felt this tightness and anxiety in my chest. I realized it was because I had a couple days to go until payday, no money in my checking account (well maybe $15) and no Emergency Fund. No space on a credit card. Nothing. Nada.

It just blows my mind, that this is how I lived pretty much every day. For years! Even when I had some money, I was just waiting for it to be gone as I knew it would trickle away eventually with little shortfalls and things that just come up.

The first thing I did, the same day, was to drive over to my bank and deposit all the change I had been saving. I try to only spend whole dollars and I toss the change into the bottom of my purse. Every few days I take the change out and put it in a pretty box on my dresser. When I get a good chunk, I put it into a ziplock baggie and move it along. I hadn't deposited the money yet because my bank has shortened their hours and it is hard for me to get to a teller window these days. But I had the bags of change on me so I deposited them right away into my savings account. Not checking. Not spending. SAVINGS.

Immediately I felt a sigh of relief.

Then I drove to 3 stores and returned all the small Christmas gifts I had bought for adult relatives and friends. I'll be baking cookies, and the children will still receive gifts from me, but my adult relatives and friends will have to be content with baked goods. I then deposited that into my savings account.

By the end of the day I was back up to $110.00 in savings. Not much, but far more than zero. I had my December budget already done, on paper, on purpose. Every dollar was pre-spent. So when payday arived today, I immediately transferred over the amount I had pre-decided to save.

The really important thing that I noticed -- I did not want to go even 24 hours without some kind of savings. Contrasted with the me who went for years with only the extra unspent money in my checking account as any kind of savings. And I had no dribs and drabs of money laying around -- not even loose change in the bottom of my purse or in the change cup in my car. Every loose penny was deposited at the bank.

It turns out my need for a crown has become urgent. I have an appointment with the dentist for next week. Because I asked, I know how much the crown will cost and my own part after insurance (thank you, insurance). It is a lot, several hundred dollars. And I have not been saving for it, because instead I was saving my emergency fund. It's ok though. I redid my budget and I made arrangements to spread out the cost over the course of my appointments.

And despite all this, I still have fun in my life. I spent a day with my BFF this past weekend. We went to a belated birthday brunch at my current favorite restaurant, where I enjoyed their exclusive pancake flight (this weeks was Vitamin C infused, so I had flavored pancakes with grapefruit, orange, cranberry and mango toppings) and well known orange-roasted coffee... saw Dolphin Tale in 3-D for a whole $4 per person... went grocery shopping so I can bring my lunch most of the week... our workplace holiday lunch is this Friday. I am also getting a cash bonus for the holidays, which can go to savings, or the dentist, we'll see.

Life is good. I feel like thngs are on track. Even when a big Emergency happens, life doesn't get off track. I could deal with the Emergency in itself, without having to also freak out about the money. Sure, it's rotten to have to start all over again... but I also didn't write a check against December's monthly income. I am not starting in the hole.

I've been looking for some kind of little part time job or a way to bring in some extra cash. No luck yet, but I am open to it and I have been replying to job ads and asking around. I can't wait tables or do retail, since I have spinal problems so I can't stand for long periods. But I have a car, and there is always delivering pizzas, right?

If you have not done FPU and you are thinking about it, all I can say is: It is worth the money. If you DO it. Just showing up and listening won't do it. You have to DO it. You have to make a budget on paper, and you have to force yourself to stick to it. I find the envelope system is a great way to FORCE me to stick to it.

I also find that the lessons of FPU spill over into the rest of my life. I did laundry on Saturday, and then I picked out 4 outfits for work with accessories and underthings, and put them on hangers outside my closet. In the cold dark this morning, I did not have to fumpble around wondering what i could wear and trying to pick accessories. I just got dressed. I bought 4 soups, 4 bagels, and 4 apples for lunches this week, plus a few little treats. I didn't ahve to fumble around to get my lunch together. I just grabbed it all and went.

I love being a spontaneous person and flying where the whim takes me. I like that setting up some of these regular areas in advance actually means I have more attention available to give to the REST of my life. To the fun parts. It actually makes my life LESS boring.. in a really fun way.

=====================

Photo 1: Budgeting. From "What the Proposed State Budget Means for Los Angeles County." Don Knabe, County of Los Angeles, 4th District Weblog. 10 Jan 2011. LINK

Photo2: Pancake flight at Orange Restaurant Chicago. Taken by me (sorry for the cameraphone quality). Dec 2011.

organizing my photo CDs.

2011-11-11T15:02:00.001-06:00

Another area I have been musing on, struggling with, and working on is keeping track of all the CDs I have with photo files burned on them.

If I was simply burning my own photos to CDs I could enjoy a consistent look, like Benita at Chez Larsson.

Rather, I have been collecting photo CDs over the past 10 years or so. Some are back up CDs I have burned myself. Some are from friends or family. Several are files I've had burned at various photo places, including Walgreens.

In short, they are labeled differently, packaged differently, organized differently. The Walgreens ones are the bane of my organizing existance. What bonehead thought it was great to completely cover the entire CD with a useless Walgreens graphic, and leave no space to write what is ON the CD?

I've tried various methods of keeping track of these over the years.

I have tried writing a list of the contents on the CDs, and the date. This works when it is MY CD, burned by me from my files. But when friends or family give me a CD that they have labeled, that doesn't work. And of course....there's Walgreens.

Several years ago I bought a photo CD binder. It is much like the sort of binder used to hold music CDs, except that the slots are wide enough to also hold an index print of the contents. Sounded like a good idea... but it's not. It's not a good idea for someone like me, who looks at CDs on various computers, at home, at work, at school, and friends' homes. That involves taking the CD wanted out of the binder. Then you have to find a sleeve for it to transport it, and you can usually not take the index print with you. Even if you do, the index print can and does get separated from the CD, and the index print is what tells you what is on the CD.

I have also tried just putting photo CDs into paper or plastic sleeves (see in the picture), and that is how I store them still, but I tried labeling the sleeve itself - with sticky labels, with my label maker, or handwritten on the paper sleeve. Again, if the CD is separated from the sleeve, then your notes as to date and contents are missing too.

I also considered adding sticky labels to the CDs themselves that I design and print myself. I opted to not do this because I have no way to be sure the label itself won't peel up and gum up my computer or someone else's. I am primarily a Mac user, so I do not have a "tray" to put the CD in. On the Macs I've been using, there is a slot that sort of sucks the CD into it. Get somethign stuck in there and you'll never get it out.

This hasn't been a huge issue, like my ongoing issue with memorabilia, which I still haven't fully resolved, btw. (I just tried something new recently and that didn't work either.) More like a niggling little tickle in the back of my head, especially when I come across a random photo CD mixed in with my music CDs or in my photo storage box.

So! I had a brainstorm the other day, which came partly from the use of an archiving concept in organizing my digital photo files. I guess those ideas have been on my mind.

This is not a new idea. In fact, I've heard it before in terms of other file management, but I did not apply it to my photo CDs. Maybe it did not seem it would work for me at those times. So again, this might seem so simple as to bring up the DUH! again, but I was glad to come up with it.

My idea was just to label the physical CDs themselves numerically, and then use a Finding Aid to keep track of the contents.

If you've ever gone to a public library and used their catalog (whether at a computer terminal or on cards in drawers), you have used a Finding Aid. It's a centralized repository for information on objects, which is not physically connected to the objects. An inventory list, a catalog, a shelf list. If you move your house and pack your belongings up in boxes, you might have created a list of the contents of each box and then taped the list to each box. Well, instead of that, try just numbering the boxes, then making a separate list of all the numbers, with the contents there, and keeping the list with you to refer to. Like that.

In practice, I just started with the few photo CDs I had laying around on a table by my computer. I started with #001 written on one with Sharpie permanent marker (see photo). I figure I might have more than 100 Cds someday, but I think by the time I get to 1000 CDs might be obsolete entirely.

Then I created a separate document on my computer for the Finding Aid. I am using an Excel spreadsheet, but anything where you can create a table will work. In my spreadsheet, I put the number in one column, the date of the contents in another, and then the description.

Now a description can be very very detailed because the beauty of a Finding Aid is, there are no space restrictions on information. A Finding Aid would work great as a way to keep track of journaling or memories you have about photos or memorabilia. Heck, if you ever create a scrapbook that shows photos of objects (say, in a collection) that are important to you, and includes information about the objects, that is a kind of a Finding Aid.

This is what museums do as well. You certainly can't put all the information about that 1200 year old red clay pot dug up in an archaological site on said pot itself. So the museum puts a small, unobtrusive number somewhere on the object, and that number connects to the information in the archives or museum records.

So far I am loving this method. Mainly because I did not have to gather every single photo CD I own in one spot, order them, and start at #1. Nope, I just started with whatever ones I had laying around. As I find CDs, I put them in my computer to double check what is on them. Then I look at my phot folders and make sure I have everything on my computer (believe it or not, I have found pictures I did not have). I assign them a number. I write the number somewhere on them in Sharpie - generally somewhere in the middle so I can see the number if the CD is in a paper sleeve. If the CD really doesn't have anything else written on it, I will also add a short note of the date and what is on it. This information doesn't have to be complete; it's just a memory jog.

I go to the spreadsheet I have and I put in the information -- number, date, what it contains. If the CD spans various years, that's ok. I can add as many rows in the spreadsheet as I need. If I am looking for a particular CD, I can search my file for a keyword, and see the number.

Right now I am not adding in the physical location of the CD, because as I find them I am gathering them together on my desk. I'll find a place to put them when I have more than a couple dozen on hand.

I also like this method because the CDs don't have to be "consistent". They don't have to look alike, be stored in the same kind of sleeve, be written on in the same spot, or be stored in the same physical location.

I might find later this doesn't work for me, especially when I try and USE the Finding Aid. I plan to print it out and stick it in the box where I want to physically collect all my CDs. That will have to be updated periodically, because this is an ongoing collection and I am actively adding to it. But... not every day, or every month. I might get 4 CDs per year to add, or less.

And I like that I can maintain all the CDs that have my family and friends' handwriting on them, as they are, and still keep track of what is ON them.

Mostly this method has quieted down that niggling little thing in the back of my brain. When that happens, I know it's good.

====================

Photo 1: "Organizing Photos." Chez Larsson Weblog. 23 July 2008. LINK

Photo 2: Some of my various photo CDs. Taken by me. 2011.

Photo 3: Photo of numbering system used on projectile point from the Rust Collection. Logan Museum of Anthropology. Beloit, WI. Taken by me. 2008.

fun with numbering my photos.

2011-10-20T09:25:00.002-05:00

Ever since I first started creating and using digital photo files (about 9 years now), I have been dealing with the issues around organizing, naming, and finding the photos I want, when I want them.

Now that I am a librarian, I work all day every day to make information accessible and findable for anyone and everyone who wants or needs it. So these issues are even more in the forefront of my mind.

For many years now I have used this method to name my files. Basically, every photo I take or scan gets renamed. The name starts with a 4 digit number, indicating the year and month of the photo, then a space, then a brief descriptive name. The description is almost always proper nouns, such as names of people or places.

When I search for photos, I am almost always looking for a person or a place. If I type "Barry" in my search engine, all photos of "Barry" will come up. And since all photos are dated with numbers, the search results will list the photos of Barry in chronological order, with the year first. Even if the photo is just Barry's name, I can see that a photo with 87 at the beginning is one of Barry's baby pictures, and 07 will be close to his senior year in college. Photos are also stored in descriptive folders that usually have the event name on them (as well as the date). So I don't need to label the photo (usually) that this is Barry at Christmas, or Barry at the beach, or Barry having a birthday party. The folders will say that. If I search for "Christmas" all Christmas folders will come up, and all the photos will have a 12 in the number, for December.

Overall I have been reallyhappy with this system. I tried switching to iPhoto several years ago and that was a giant fail. I won't belabor the point. I have since used Adobe Bridge and it alleviated every problem I had with iPhoto. I love Bridge. However, I still want to be able to move my photos around, from computer to computer, and be able to access and use my files no matter what computer I use or have, or what software that computer has.

However there are some drawbacks to my system. Mostly I work around them, or live with them. The percentage of times where these drawbacks are too big to ignore is a small percent.

One of the main drawbacks is that photos cannot be stored chronologically, or in any other "story" mode, inside the relevant folders. All photos in a folder have the same date, so they all begin with the same 4 numbers. After the numbers, they sort alphabetically.

If the folder has 10 or 20 photos in it (or less), as the vast majority do, that is not a big deal. But say Mary and John got married last month and I have 300 pictures from the wedding -- this system breaks down if I want to see my photos in the folder "1109 Mary John Wedding" in the order of the day's events.

Say I open the folder itself. I want to see my photos of the event at least roughly in the order they happened. I want the photos taken before the ceremony to come before the ceremony itself photos. I want the walking down the aisle to come before the kiss. I want the ceremony to come before the reception.

The way I have been organizing and naming my files, this has been challenging to impossible. I have gotten around it by inserting letter codes in the file name:

1109 C aisle bridemaids
1109 C aisle John Mary
1109 C aisle Mary
1109 C vows John
1109 C vows Mary
1103 C vows Mary2

C is for Ceremony, R is for Reception, P is for Portraits, etc.

You can't really see the problem, looking at the list by file name above, which is why most of the time I can live with it. But if you tried looking at the photos as thumbnails in the folder, you would see that the bride and groom walk down the aisle together at the end of the ceremony, and therefore 1109 C aisle John Mary should be at the end of all the ceremony pictures. Because the folder sorts alphabetically, that photo is in the wrong spot.

What I really disliked was not being able to look at photos that I specifically took in a sequence -- like on my letterboxing hunts -- and see them in that sequence. When you are hiking through the woods and taking 4 trails, but not in a row, and all the trail pictures end up grouped together and you can't tell which trail is which, that can be very annoying.

So I lived with it. Never realizing that I had other problems that were hidden by this method. Problems I consider far more serious. It especially comes into play when you have -- as I do -- at least 100 old family photos scanned with no dates or names associated with them. Or names that mean nothing except they were written on the back of a paper photo that has been scanned. Or when you have multiple scans of certain photos, but all in the wrong folder. It's hard to tell, from a file name, that photos are missing, out of order, or duplicates. It's easy to tell when actually looking at the image itself.

About 8 weeks ago I had a Eureka moment. I decided that i could, in fact - YES - number my photos AND keep the date intact, in front.

It's so ridiculous. Maybe I thought of this before and just didn't like it at the time, or it "felt" wrong to me. I just know I didn't like having an extra space in there:

1109 1 aisle bridemaids
1109 2 aisle Mary
1109 3 vows John
1109 4 vows Mary
1103 5 vows Mary
1109 6 aisle John Mary

And I really didn't want to run the numbers together:

11091 aisle bridemaids
11092 aisle Mary
11093 vows John
11094 vows Mary
11035 vows Mary
11096 aisle John Mary

So this is what I came up with:

1109.01 bridemaids
1109.02 Mary aisle
1109.03 John vows
1109.04 Mary vows
1103.05 Mary vows
1109.06 John Mary recessional

The best thing is something I can't really show. It's that I can open up the folder and use the icon or thumbnail view. Instead of looking at the file names in order, I look at the images. In order. In order of when they happened. This is especially fantastic for photos of trips! I no longer have to separate photos from a trip into smaller subphotos based on the day or location. I want to look at all my related photos, together, not click a bunch of folders. In order to do that, I was inserting so many little letter codes, it got ridiculous and cumbersome:

0807 WD UD B me Jacob (Going on an Upper Dells boat tour in Wisconsin Dells with my nephew)

It's not a big deal if you use iPhoto or similar and always view your photos visually like that. But iPhoto did not work for me for many other reasons. More, I do not want my photo organization to rely on a piece of proprietary software. I have moved photos too often from computer to computer, from Macs to PCs, from laptop to external hard drive. The organization needs to be intrinsic to the files, not through software, and that means file structure and naming.

So now I am looking at folders, and i am seeing that I have photos missing. Photos I know I took, photos I own, but they are not in the folders. I am also seeing I have duplicate files. These dups come from scanning old family photos and not having a good tracking system to tell me what I already scanned. Since the photos are a jumble of people and babies I don't know and don't have names for, the file names are not helpful. And as anal as I can be, I had no real system for naming photos that were undated and unknown people. Now I am using the archives designation of "nd" (for no date) on photos without a date, but storing them in the decade folder closest to the probable date (1940s, 1950s, etc). If the photo is of people or events I do't know, it contains "unknown" int he file name. Now I can search for "unknown" and have them all come up, so I can ask my mother about them.

I'm also finding that when I look at photos this way - especially family heritage photos - I can recognize relationships between images. I can recognize that is the same woman in the four photos, and one of them was labeled with her name... so now I know the name of someone in all 4 photos. And since that is her baby, every time I see the baby in a photo, I know whose baby it is. This is immensely helpful when trying to figure out photos that are unidentified.

This is not really a method I'd recommend to everyone, unless you do it from now on. Going back to all my photo folders and renumbering my photos has been a project I've been working on since the summer. It is really a lot of work. I personally enjoy it. I find it relaxing and I like to organize things. I could spend all day just working on this stuff and be happy. That is why *I* have a degree in museum studies and one in library science. I can imagine many people would want to tear their hair out trying to do this! Actually, there have a been a few larger folders that have really been irritating. A couple of them are not done yet because I have to think about the story of the images and how to tell it visually.

To renumber my photos, I view the folder in thumbnail view. Then I go thru the files and replace the date number (1101, 1816, etc) with just a number, in order. 1 -2 -3 -4, in the order the photos should go. I continually refresh the folder to look at the pictures and see they are in the order I want. Yes this is a bit tricky and that's what keeps this from being a really boring project. Once I have the photos set in the order I want, I then add the date and the dot to the beginning of every file name. This would be a pain in a Windows interface, but it's easy on a Mac.

If I make a mistake and miss a photo, or someone sends me a photo I want to stick in the middle there, yep it's a pain. I have to renumber and resort. Again, I mostly enjoy the process, which is why it is not a giant waste of my time.

Now that I have spent this time with my photos, I am going on to all the places online where I have random photos stored - some on flickr, some on Photobucket, some on Snapfish, etc, and I am able to check and make sure I have on my computer all those photos, and then delete them from the online accounts. All that mess was making me twitchy. I have also found some photos (from other people) that I did not have, and downloaded them. I am also working on comparing my laptop files with my external hard drive and making sure they match.

It's the little things that make me happy!!

fpu : competition makes the world go round.

2011-10-18T14:38:00.001-05:00

Or at least, mine!

So I am taking this FPU class and according to DAVE married couples are supposed to consult with each other before purchasing anything, and in making a monthly budget.

Well, shoot, I am not married? What do I do about that? Initially I was using my sister as my "accountability partner" since we are doing this class together. But now that's not gonna work.

My sister and I have decided to make this into a little friendly competition - who can save the Baby Emergency Fund faster. Now, she has more money coming in than I do (2 incomes) but she also has kids, and her husband is not 100% on board with the whole thing, which makes it more challenging. Since we can't really compare actual dollar amounts, we are using percentages to make it more fair.

So I am just posting this to proclaim that I have F I N A L L Y pulled ahead of her slightly in the savings category. *smug*

I know she reads this. That's right! I have more money saved than you do. How you like them apples? :-) Class is tonight!

PS. I won.

Fun with Financial Peace University

2011-10-14T15:56:00.001-05:00

I just went and looked at my checking account balance. It is $101.00.

For some people that might be a lot of cash, and not too long ago I would have felt the same. But for me, right now, that is a very small amount of money to "live on" for another week (until payday).

The great thing is, I don't have to "live on it." I don't even need it. It's extra. I will probably not spend any of it at all.

FPU is supposed to be about getting out of debt and then, more importantly, building wealth. You only get out of debt so you can free up your income stream in order to build wealth. I would not be interested in a mere "get out of debt" plan, because I have lived within my means and paid off thousands of dollars in debt more than once. But I like the wealth-building part of it. I want to build some damn wealth. When you owe as much as I do in student loans, "wealth" is a very distant-seeming goal.

The name "Financial Peace" means something. It means PEACE. Peace along the way. Peace knowing I am taking some kind of steps. Peace knowing I am a force of nature in my own life. I am not letting life just happen -- I am happening to IT. I may or may not be successful, but I tell you what -- I always go down swinging.

Peace means when I have only $101.00, I have peace. Not because I pray to Jesus to not let anything come up this week, though that might work for you. Not because I have a credit card with an available $1000 or $5000 line of credit on it for "emergencies."

I have peace right now because I have already withdrawn all the cash that I need to live on, and I have it. In my actual possession. And I know it's what I need to live on, because I decided it's what I need. I don't just have a wad of cash in my purse. I have money alloted for the various needs I actually do have -- and some wants like hair and make up, entertainment, having fun, and eating out. I have withdrawn all the money I will need to live on for the next week for daily living. I have bought groceries and will not need to go to the store for a couple of weeks at least. I have set aside money for anything else I can think of. There are things I have not thought of, because I just started this thing, but hey, I have the $101.00 extra sitting there just in case anything is truly needed that I did not think of.

And I have money saved. Money for me. Money put aside. Right now it is several hundred dollars. Not a huge amount, but...

I will tell you, Internetz, due to being in school for years, and before that trying to pay off debt, it has been many years since I have had several hundred dollars of cash available to me, that I have put aside for the long term. Occassionally I have put money aside for an upcoming trip or purchase, but never very much for Life's Little Emergencies. So when they have happened, they truly were an Emergency!

When I looked at my bank balance today, I started to feel this tightness in my chest. This sense of anxiety. I was not actually hyperventilating, but I was getting a little wiggy in my head. Subliminally I have felt that all my life, and now I know what it is, because I live without it a lot more of the time these days.

I was able to look in my purse and see envelopes with money for the day. I know I have more money at home. And I have a savings. I was able to look at my list of monthly bills and see that anything I need to pay online out of this paycheck, is paid. And I have taken money out of my last paycheck, and put some in there, so I paid myself first. So I probably have no reason to make any more withdrawals at all.

I also have made 2 small gifts to organizations of my choice. I am not giving away 10% a month like a tithe, but I am enjoying thinking about who I want to give money to, and who will get my small gift next month. I have some ideas. :-) My small amounts will not set the world on fire, but they give me some peace. Peace knowing I don't need to miserly keep every thin dime and penny that comes across my path. I can choose to give some of what I have to others, and to support causes and groups in which I believe. Believe it or not, that spiritual discimpline also makes a difference, in your training. That's what I am doing -- training.

No it's not all sunshine and roses. One thing I need, right now, and do not have money set aside for, is a crown for this root canal I had last month. I don't want to have gone through all that pain and trouble just to lose this tooth. So I don't want to spend that $101.00. I want it to stay there and be added to. I could just call it "Dentist" money, take it out, and stick it in an envelope. But I am going to leave it there.

That's another form of training. Learning to leave it alone.

=====================
1. Photo from "How to Create a Household Budget: Part 6." Trees Full of Money weblog. 12 Mar 2010.

financial peace university.

2011-10-11T16:05:00.001-05:00

So. Last month I started attending a Financial Peace University class at a local Lutheran church. If you have not heard of it, FPU is a Christian-faith based, church-centered program for getting out of debt and building wealth. My sister wanted to go, and I said I would do it with her.

If you know much about me, you might rightly be wondering, "WTF?" For the record, lightning did not strike me out of the sky when I put my hand on the church doors, and the metal did not burn my hand, hee. It is true that "prayer" is a strong component of the program. Sometimes... I do get a bit um... twitchy... when I have to listen about how everything I have belongs to God and I am just a steward of God's resources. But that is another topic for another day.

I've been hearing about FPU for years, and I was curious enough about it to read the book The Total Money Makeover. At that time it was not for me. Most of it (it seemed) is geared toward couples / families, with a Christian perspective, who make around $40-60K a year, and have a lot of unsecured debt and large payments on things. For a single woman, devoutly non-Christian, who lived on cash mostly and very frugally already, it was not helpful. Well that is all still true, so the adaptation is a real bear, and I am not 100% on how to do some things. But I am trying.

A few weeks ago I was directed to this blog, where a young family paid off over $30,000 in student loan debt in less than 18 months. The wife worked part time, the husband did not have a regular job and was not getting clients, they have a house and a baby. I found it inspiring to read their story, and helpful to see the details of their failures and triumphs. I might not have thousands in car payments and credit card debt, but I do not want to be making minimum payments on my student loans for the rest of my life. I want to pay them off.

So I agreed to check out the first class for free. Anyway that's how I got started. Now after a month... well. There have been successes and failures. Not everything in this program makes sense from a math perspective. It is really more a behavior modification program than anything else.

I have modified some of my behavior. While I was always on a cash basis before (as much as possible), I used my debit card to swipe my purchases. Thus, I removed much of the emotional connection to my money and spending. Now, I physically use cash. It makes a huge difference. Huge.

Now, when payday comes, it is not just numbers on a paper that then become numbers on a website. I take a large chunk of cash out of the bank and I divvy it up into envelopes. When I want to buy something, I gotta get out the envelope and take out the cash. Then later write down what I spent on the tally and subtract. It can really be a PITA. So I don't buy stuff unless I feel like doing all that! It's a small deterrent but in the short term, that's all you need. After a few weeks (21 days to make a habit) your thought process has adjusted.

The other thing this does is make me think in advance about what I am going to buy and how much it is. Because our world makes it somewhat inconvenient to use and carry cash. I can use my debit card at restaurants and coffee shops, and I don't even have to sign a slip any more. I just hand it over. I don't have to look at the receipt, because the charge will appear on my online statement. It's so easy to spend. Companies spend millions of dollars figuring out how to make it easy and painless and convenient.

Right now, I want the inconvenience. I want the "stubling blocks." Because every time I get money or spend it, I want there to be a pause while I re-check my direction and re-orient myself. I no longer want to be $10-ing myself to death at the Walgreens across the street, or $20-ing myself here and there, and then I wonder where all my money went.

================

Carrie: "What happened to all my money? I know I made some..."
Miranda: “At $400 a pop, how many (pairs of shoes) do you have? Fifty?”
Carrie: “C’mon…”
Miranda: “100?”
Carrie: “Would it be bad if I did?”
Miranda: “Well $400 times 100, there’s your down payment.”
Carrie: “Well no, that’s only $4000.”
Miranda: “No, that’s $40,000.”

Carrie's reaction ----->>>

=================

While the whole marriage/church/God thing is not for me, there are so many ideas in this program that I do like, and that I find eye opening when applied to me and my life.

I love the idea that money is energy and that it is constantly moving. It is always in flux. If I buried $10,000 in cash in my yard today, in 10 years that $10,000 won't have the same buying power. Money is always growing or decreasing. It never really stays the same.

I love the idea that I am responsible for directing the flow of energy, for steering the car. That's really what I have never accepted before. I have accepted that I need to generate income, and I need to keep it and spend as little as possible... but only so I have more to spend, or to miser it away in a little room called Savings Account where it sits and bugs me because it's just sitting there. I have never thought about money as an energy flow that moves through me. I like the idea that I need to learn to focus that power, through concentration, through my Will, and direct it to where I want it to go.

I love the idea that I should never have any "lazy money" around. I have always had lazy money. Change tossed on the floor of my car, random bills in pockets, coins in the couch cushions and little bowls on the counter, money in checking, money in savings, money in a credit union, money in an IRA... I like that money never, ever, just "sits there." Even if it is waiting in reserve for something, it has a job to do, and I tell it what it's going to do and I decide when. I know that I am going to get my hair cut and colored every 3 months, and I know this costs $100. So just because I have kept aside $33 this month and $33 next month, doesn't mean that money is randomly sitting around. It has a job to do come November, and that job is to get my hair cut and colored. That money is labeled, it has a spot, it knows what to do and when. It's not random unallocated money just laying around.

I love that I am losing my guilt and fear around my money.

Long ago, back in the day, I was scared of dogs, especially big strange dogs. Then I had someone who really demonstrated to me that dogs just want to be loved. They just want to be paid attention to. They want to be told they are good doggies. They want approval. Now I love dogs, and wheenver I see one, I want to love it.

I was never afraid of money, exactly, but it was always like one of those dogs that might let me pet it, but could also snap my hand off if it felt like it, for no reason at all.

Now I know, it just needs attention. It needs me to be the Big Boss Of It. It needs me to tell it what to do, and when, and how. Like an eager puppy, it needs to be trained. Training doesn't mean spend it all, either. Being The Boss doesn't mean Go shopping. Though, I can and have shopped, when I need to, when I choose to. Just like having a house, a car, a dog, a wife, a husband, a child, a family... sometimes there are fun parts and sometimes there is work involved in those relationships.

And as the energy is trained and directed, so is the Apprentice trained and formed.

I love that I can take a cab ride to a regular appointment every two weeks, and I don't berate myself for "wasting" money and then feel spoiled and guilty because I owe money on student loans and I am supposed to be saving money. I have decided the cab ride is the best option. I know how much it is, with tip. I have assigned an amount of money - in cash - to this trip and I put it aside. When the day comes, I spend it. And if I want to take an extra cab in there for some reason, I have a category called "Blow Money" out of which I take the funds. It's not called "Miscellaneous", meaning "Unallocated" (lazy). It is for blowing, and blow it I shall.

Meanwhile, I am paying the minimum payments on all my debt, and I am saving extra money and putting it into an Emergency Fund. When I have a certain amount (FPU says $1000, but I may go with $500, or I may go with $2000, haven't figured that out) saved, in cash, then my extra discretionary income will all go towards a particular debt that I have decided to pay off first. I will not feel guilty that the other debt amounts are not being reduced much right now.

I had an odd moment today. I was looking at my bank account online. I was jotting down what I spent and where prior to switching to my envelope system. (That was rather funny itself. You could see the demarkation line. I went from having dozens of small transactions all over the place, to having only a few, large transactions from paying bills or taking out cash.) I looked at my amount in the bank and I realized that is my actual amount.

Which sounds odd but... even if all my transactions have cleared, I have never known what I really had to spend or use before. Because there was always a bill coming up later in the month, or next month, that I had to pay and thus needed to keep that money aside. I also needed money to live on, to buy gas, groceries, personal items, medicine, or just cab rides. I also had a deep primal need to keep as much money in my account as possible, "just in case."

Well, I have all the money I am going to need for food, medicine, personal items, entertainment, blowing, gas, or anything, for the next few weeks, in my actual possession, in cash. My numbers might be off, but so far I have over-allocated.

And I have almost $500 saved in an Emergency Fund, so if something really urgent comes up and it can't be covered by the cash I have on hand, I have that Fund. That's what it's for.

Today I found out that I had a small overdue amount due to one of my student loans for unpaid interest. I am sure they told me about this in some fashion, but my eyes glazed over, because it didn't have any meaning for me. This random $59 that I owed them on top of the tens of thousands for my education was not a blip on my radar.

But today, even though I did not technically have money budgeted for it (I did and I didn't, complicated to explain) I didn't feel the need to wait until my later payday. I don't need to carry it around in my head, don't forget, don't forget, don't spend that money, don't forget...why haven't you paid it, it's just sitting there...

Nope. I went and I paid it. Out of money in my checking account. And I don't feel at all nervous about it. I don't feel at all like OMG, what if my car breaks down and I need that money next week and it is gone!?!?! Or, What if I wrote a check that needs to clear?? Or, What if I need to buy something unexpected and expensive?!!?

Anyway, This is not a perfect system. I am still trying to work out putting aside money for Christmas. For other gifts. Saving to move to another place. I still struggle. I still have questions.

But last month I thought it would take me at least until Jan 2012 to save an Emergency Fund, and lo I am almost halfway there. In fact while writing this I just had another idea of where I can get some more cash to add to my Fund.

Also, yes there are parts of this that are very very hard. But like many things, it's only painful THE FIRST TIME. then it gets easier, then you get used to it... and someday... you start to like it. :-)

a summer survey

2011-08-01T15:39:00.003-05:00

There is so much to say, so much to do, and I never seem to have the time to create the blog posts I really want to create. I have some in mind for later. (I just set up my phone to post on the fly, so we'll see if that works.) I seem to spend a lot of my time on Pinterest, just because I can pin things or view them very briefly, as opposed to writing, which takes me a while.

In lieu of actual content, I bring you -- a survey!

♥ What time did you get up today? 7.30 am.

♥ Diamonds or pearls? Love diamonds. I actually owned a real diamond necklace for all of 2 hours last fall, until someone stole it. Rot in hell, bastard.

♥ Latest movie in a movie theater? Captain America! My Boyfriend (TM) is in it!

♥ Favourite TV series? I am not into TV much any more. But my classic faves are Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Sex and the City, The Vicar of Dibley, and The Big Bang Theory.

♥ What did you have for breakfast? Mini crullers, French vanilla cappuccino.

♥ What's your middle name? Ann

♥ Favourite food? Pizza

♥ Which food don't you like? Mexican. Hate it all.

♥ What's your favourite CD at the moment? At this moment it is Katy Perry's latest album. "Let me see your Peacock!" -- OMG did she really sing a song about that?!!?

♥ What car do you drive? An old Ford.

♥ Favourite sandwich? Pulled pork, with coleslaw on top of it!

♥ Which human traits can't you stand? Thoughtlessness, arrogance, and especially entitlement.

♥ What are your favourite clothes? I like capris and Sketchers this summer.

♥ If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Australia

♥ Favourite clothing brand? Hm, I don't have one for me. I shop at the thrift store, garage sales, specialty boutiques, Walmart... Today I am wearing a dress I bought in a specialty boutique in Galena, IL, a pair of leggings from WalMart, and a pair of shoes from the Sketchers store at Woodfield Mall.

♥ Where would you like to retire? Can't even think about it right now.

♥ Favourite time of day? Early afternoon.

♥ Where were you born? In Chicago.

♥ Which is your favourite sport to watch? Pairs ice skating.

♥ Coke or Pepsi? Classic Coke.

♥ Soccer or hockey? Neither, both bore me.

♥ Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl.

♥ Pedicure or manicure? Mani.

♥ Any exciting news to share? I just went to a 2-day intensive workshop with Janet Ferrar this weekend. I first read her books in the 1980s and I never thought I would meet her! I learned so much.

♥ What did you want to become as a child? A dancer.

♥ Best childhood memory? Going to our family home in Pell Lake, sitting in the garden with my grandparents listening to Paul McCartney and Wings on the radio, the sound of the lawn mower (it was a big place), and the smell of the lake water.

♥ Ever been to Africa? No.

♥ Ever rolled anybody in toilet paper? Yes! And I have pictures. It was a game at a party.

♥ Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes, many times.

♥ Favourite day of the week? I like Wednesday right now.

♥ Favourite flower? Daffodils.

♥ Favourite - Hot dog or Chinese food? CHINESE FOOD. Because a hot dog is just a hot dog but Chinese food could be LOTS of things!

♥ Do you own a bike? No.

♥ Who was you latest e-mail from? A mailing list on digital libraries.

♥ Where would you like to shop more if you could afford to? Nordstrom.

♥ Bed time? 11pm.

♥ Latest person to share dinner with? I had dinner with a group of people at my weekend workshop.

♥ What are you up to now? Taking a brief break from work.

♥ Favourite color? Blue.

♥ How many tattoos? One.

==============

Photo 1: Me and a friend wrapping another guest in a race to create the fastest toilet paper mummy. We won! Biagio's Banquets, Chicago. April 2004.

Photo 2: My grandmother in her garden. Pell Lake, WI. circa 1970.

letterboxing is fun. funerals are not.

2011-05-09T12:44:00.002-05:00

So on Mother's Day, after we had taken our mother out to breakfast, I had the whole rest of the gorgeous day left and nothing to do.* I texted my friend Amelia, since her mother passed away when she was 11 and Mothers Day is hard on her, and I invited her to spend the day letterboxing.

I had a whole slew of letterbox clues I had printed out from a privately accessed weblist. You can see the names of the boxes on the public sites, but you cannot find the clues there. I've had access to some of these for over a year, but with grad school and working and my long commute, plus moving and planning a wedding, I had no time to search for these.

The great thing about finally getting to look for boxes with clues unavailable to the general public is that the chances are much much higher that the box will actually BE there. And in fact, they all were! At least one had a logbook with stamps in it from 2005, which is old in outdoor letterbox terms.

I love letterboxing because it takes me places in my own neighborhood I never would have known were there, or explored. We visited:

• a Zoo-themed Metra stop, complete with lion statues
• a prairie restoration and oak savannah that had once been in danger of becoming a housing development, and thus criss crossed with old broken sidewalks (yes! sidewalks into a prairie!)
• a bike trail along Salt Creek
• a Ronald McDonald House near an airstrip where Charles Lindberg used to land when he was running the US Mail
• a beautiful meadow filled with purple flowers
• a retro-tastic store full of goodies from childhood (Star Wars glasses! Yes, please!)

We tried for 2 boxes we had no initially planned to get and they were unsuccessful. But we did find many others. In fact we could have kept going, but after dinner and one extra letterbox, we finally were too tired to go on and called it good. I got a lot of great pictures on my camera, but no time to clean them off right now.

* * *

I am going to Denver for my friend Jennifer's memorial service in a few weeks. The memorial service will be non-religious. However, several of us are driving up into the mountains the afternoon before, where we will re-create a ritual we did in college, this time adding the farewell to and celebration of Jennifer's spirit to it. We are all renting a vacation cottage together. Over the weekend I caught part of "The Big Chill" on TV and.... oh that was hard. I never ever thought I would experience that movie in my own life. It just never occured to me.

Anyway I am planning on doing at least 2 letterboxes in memory of Jennifer. One will be hidden somewhere at the ritual site in the mountains. One will be hidden in Beloit, where we all went to school. If I ever get to Phoenix, I will hide one there, as that was Jennifer's hometown. So it will be a series, and to complete the series, you will have to travel cross country! And yes, there are fans of letterboxing who WILL do so, just not many.

Right now I am getting supplies together to carve the first stamp (letterboxes contain a logbook, a hand carved stamp, and other goodies). I am thinking I will have my sister sketch me some Doc Martens for the design. For the Wisconsin box, I am looking for a good pencil sketch of Robert Smith of the Cure to use.

Jennifer was fantastically and prolifically creative. She would love that we are designing a ritual, hiding letterboxes, and writing poetry in honor of her.

She would also love that her college girlfriends are all wearing funky tights, fingerless gloves, and boots to her memorial service. We don't care it's in May! If I could only bring a hat along as well, that would be great. But I can't so instead I will be giving myself the gigantor, EPIC, Jennifer hairbeast hair. No straightening iron for me on this trip.

Now I just have to run to the art supply store in the Loop that carries carving medium. Maybe after work today.

* except clean the bathroom, do my laundry, go grocery shopping, etc... Does. Not. Count!

i'm tired.

2011-05-03T21:14:00.002-05:00

I have so many things I have considered writing about on here. Pictures I have taken, adventures I have had, and many cute lunches.

Alas I am too tired. I thought I was tired in school -- and I was. But this is a new kind of tired!

I don't mean to complain. Many people work full time and they also commute to a busy downtown area on a commuter train. I know this, because I see them every day! Thousands of people! But I am also still attending classes two night a week because I signed up to audit back in January. Now I am re-adjusting to really only having two days of time that I choose how to schedule.

And in fact I don't get that much, because many weekends I have family or other commitments. Last weekend I went to Wisconsin to visit my cousin Dana, which was fun. Before that was Easter. Next is Mother's Day. After that I am flying to Denver for Jennifer's memorial service.

On top of that, I really don't have a lot of personal computer time any more. I have a computer at work, and I am allowed to check my email, and I use my lunchtime to check Facebook, but that's really it. I don't have access to wireless at home right now. It's one of many things I need to look into and have not done so yet. My blogreader is full and I have very little interest in reading anything in it. I spend all day on the computer, and many hours peering at tiny, tiny text on a computer screen. My eyes hurt at the end of the day.

Man, I am getting old.

In other news, I recently got an email that allowed me to sign up for Stacy Julian's revamped LOM class, now called "Finding Photo Freedom." She's now teaching it in the summer. So I signed up but I am not sure how much time I will have to even look at it.

I really miss running. I can't even find my running shoes, and yes I HAVE LOOKED.

Goodbye My Dear Friend

2011-03-29T10:28:00.007-05:00

Two weeks ago, while at work, I got the call that my dear friend Jennifer had died unexpectedly.

{Jennifer and me}

She had ovarian cancer. She fought it for a long time. She seemed to be getting better. She rallied. She was fighting.

She went to the hospital that night and they released her. She was ok. A few hours later... it was over.

I had not seen her in person in several years. But she was a writer and poet, and prolific. She was in almost all my online communities. I "talked to her" all the time.

Now there is silence.

Last fall I did a digital archiving project for my grad degree. I scanned all these old pictures, pieces of memorabilia, documents, and more. At the time, I shared a lot of it on Facebook.

{one of many mix tapes she made}

I was so happy she and I and all our friends got to see these pictures, laugh, and tell the old jokes and stories about them. The recent joke was, "Look how skinny I was!" Skinny Little Teresa, Skinny Little Jennifer, Skinny Little Diana, Skinny Little Chris.... I posted lots of pictures.

Oh my dear friend, I miss you so much. It's beautiful day, I love my job, and I was going to see yu this fall at the reunion. Now I never will.

May you walk the path and find your peace. I love you.

The New and Improved MLIS -- Now With Job

2011-02-16T23:35:00.008-06:00

On January 8th, I walked across a stage and received my MLIS (Masters in Library and Information Science).

{new librarian, also with cute shoes}

I actually completed my classes right before Christmas. My last assignment was a poster presentation at our symposium, on a digital archiving project I did.

{scrapbooker meets librarian -- I was the only one who used ribbon, inking, and glitter swirls on my poster}

But in January I got the degree itself and the university considered me an alum instead of an enrolled student.

Last week I accepted a full time job in digital resources and academic libraries, here in Chicago. I got the written offer earlier this week via email and accepted that too. The hardcopy offer should arrive in the mail shortly. I start in early March.

So. That is five weeks from graduation to full time employment. FIVE WEEKS.

Internetz, this is the Library School equivalent of winning the Power Ball Lottery. I am still at school frequently since I am auditing two classes and I do the reading and research assignments at the university library (we'll see how long that lasts). When people see me, I am like Librarian Rock Star. Yesterday, two professors and a librarian I didn't even know actually applauded me.

Obviously, the professors feel gratified. They have PhDs and have devoted their careers to teaching people who want to be librarians. All I have heard, in every class, from every librarian, is about how hard the job search is. How the market is flooded. How I would have to move away from Chicago, be willing to work part time, looks for months just to find a part time job with no benefits, or accept some ridiculously low amount of money just to get some kind of employment. It was going to be a long, hard, depressing, difficult road. A road only for the most motivated, the most passionate, the most qualified.

I have friends who have graduated a year ago from my program and they still don't have library jobs, not even part time jobs doing storytime or something. In Chicago, I would not only competing with all the graduates in my class, but all the graduates from my graduate school for the last xx semesters, plus people who were attending online programs, people who attended the other library school in my state, people from the surrounding states who would be very willing to move to this fantastic town. Not to mention all the qualified librarians who are out there and looking for jobs.

So professors are very happy when someone who entered the program with NO library experience announces a job of any kind so soon after graduation. But full time! In Chicago! With benefits! Holy moly!!!!

It would be great to get any job in libraries with those aspects. But I have, in fact, gotten a fantastic job. A job that is exactly what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to go. In fact, I did not know such a job at such a place even existed. I could not have dreamed of it, since I had no idea it was possible. And that is because the job did not exist until they created it last fall.

I would have to be more specific with the details of my employment to explain exactly why this is such an incredible opportunity, and that I don't feel comfortable doing. But be assured, when I tell people where I am working, mouths drop open. Damn, even the dentist was impressed when I went on Monday.

Not only that, but the people are so incredibly.... nice. That's it. Just... nice. When I sent my thank you email, that's what I said first, and what I emphasized. How nice. How warm. How welcoming. Everything about my new employer shouts out that they believe in life-work balance, they believe in hiring the best and paying for the best, they value their people.

It is not a "perfect" job. My title does not include the word "librarian." I am not working in a "library." How then is it possible for me to be working in my field if those two things are not there? Well, it is possible. For example, OCLC is not a library but if I got a job there I would be working in my field, and I definitely would need an MLIS (I am not working at OCLC - they are in Ohio).

Even getting the interview required my Masters degree. I had to submit an academic writing sample with my resume. I had several levels of interviews. I had a test. I had to make a 10 minute presentation, with handout, on the topic of my choice, without technology (no PowerPoint, no internet). There was a search committee. At least one of my (five) references was contacted twice.

It is a great opportunity. I am going to learn so very much. I have an office, MY office, and it has a floor-to-ceiling window that looks right at the Sears, I mean Willis, Tower. I love everything they are doing there. Everything.

I am going to work in digital preservation, archives, electronic databases, academia, technology, scholarly publishing, libraries, and all in one of my main subject fields that I have studied and loved forever. I had to have bibliographic instruction and reference experience because I will be teaching. I am going to be doing technical writing -- and I also submitted a technical writing sample. And a CONTENTdm library I created. I am so excited.

I can't believe how lucky I am. I can't believe it.

Hello, Spring.

Volleyball Hurts

2011-01-30T22:21:00.004-06:00

I love volleyball.

I have been playing for years. I remember learning to play in gym class in 7th grade. I remember playing on my church's youth team in high school. I remember signing up for a college class in volleyball and having everyone else drop, so it was just me and the coach. I remember playing on work leagues and with friends at the park. I remember the one year my departmental team finally won the company tournament at our annual picnic.

This is not to say I am particularly fantastic at volleyball. I have gotten better over the years. I am more enthusiastic than athletic.

I was happy to see signs up on campus for open volleyball in the sports forum every Sunday night until spring.

Now, I have never really been able to play volleyball without hurting myself. Every year I would tell myself that next year I was going to start working on my arm and shoulder muscles a couple months in advance. Or my legs. Or my endurance. Or my speed. The next year I would forget. Then January (indoor leagues) or April (sand leagues) would come and I would be fired up to play, I would show up, and I would be in pain within a few minutes.

I usually hurt my forearms or wrists from bumping the ball. Or my legs. Or my back. Or my knees. or I dive (sand courts only) and knock my breath out.

Now this time, I started running in September, so I am not in quite as bad shape as I usually am by January. I really thought that I would be able to play without hurting myself. Not to be.

I did warm up. I actually got dressed to go running today, but when I walked outside I thought, "Eh." Usually I go running anyway, but today I felt pretty good, and I had already done a 15 minute stretch workout at home too. So I went to school and sat down in the library to get some things done until volleyball time.

I arrived at the gym before they'd even set up the net. Only a few people were there and we started warming up by hitting the ball around.

You know what happens? Someone hits too hard, someone else has to take off after the ball. Do that about 15 times.

Then we started to play a game, but there were only 4 of us at the beginning, and 2 were very enthusiastic guys. That meant, more than volley-ing, we were running to go fetch the ball back.

However. My serve was good. It was not short at all, and that is generally my problem. I have good form, but not enough power in my shoulders, and I end up hitting the net. Or I hit the ball wrong and it splices.

Tonight, every single serve went over the net perfectly. Even when I had to serve numerous times in a row. I was really happy about that. I did not return every serve, especially the power serves (ack!), but I tried, and sometimes I succeeded. And I was really up to the level of where I'd normally be after several weeks of play, within about 30 minutes.

So that is how I judge myself. Can I return a serve? Can I set the ball? Can I hit it over the net when the ball is set to me? Is my serve good?

I did so well that I completely overdid it. I was sweating, I was running, I was bending and jumping and stretching. Within 40 minutes I was in so much back pain I could not even stand. I tried to keep playing, but I could not.

I hobbled to the side and did some stretches, then sat and cheered the players on. Slowly other people trickled in and the game picked up.

It would have been GREAT if I could have played the whole night without pain. I guess I am not in that great shape yet. But I still did better than if I had been sitting on the couch or at the computer nonstop since summer.

And my serve! Right over the net perfectly!

I keep thinking about how, every time I run, my arms and shoulders ache. I don;t know why, since I am not doing anything with them as far as I know. And wondering if somehow my arm and shoulder muscles are engaged when I run?

I dismissed this thought but tonight...My serve. Seriously. Right over the net, perfectly, every single time. That NEVER happens, and especially not the first time I play in a season. I think it has been at least 2 years since I last played.

The one area that was still the same is my difficulties with depth perception. I still have a problem, sometimes, judging where the ball will be and getting myself under it. I still sometimes miss even when I think I am in the right spot.

But in every other way, I was far ahead, tonight, of where I usually would be in January.

And the other thing I noticed is that my athletic clothes did not feel odd to me. Odd as in, so rarely worn I feel self conscious in them. Nope. I wear these togs all the time now.

Nike+iPod = Success

2011-01-28T17:29:00.004-06:00

So my dear friend Joyce made me a very generous gift for my graduation from grad school -- the Nike+iPod sport kit!!! Today I finally got to try it out.

It. Was. So. Good.

As we know, my purpose in writing is not only to track and document for myself, but also to encourage others who are trying to start an exercise program -- by being specific about what I do, no matter how little, and the positive benefits, no matter how subtle. My last post was very vague, all about how I estimated this and guessed that.

No more guessing!

The Nike+iPod sport kit comes with 2 little items, as you can see in the photo -- a white receiver (for the iPod) and an orange sensor (for your shoe). It's made to be used with Nike shoes and Apple iPods or iPhones. Nike shoes have a little compartment where you slip the orange sensor into the shoe itself and it "senses" your stride, speed, distance.

If you have an iPod or an iPhone, you use that while you run, with the Nike app running, and it tracks your runs, encourages you, gives you a power song to keep going.... basically everything except show up and kick your ass for you.

If you have a newer iPhone or iPod you don't even need the receiver at all, because the gadget is set up to receive data from the sensor already, and transmit it to an account you can set up on Nike.com.

The Nike+iPod kit is $29.99 new on Amazon. At that price, there is no shipping fee. I have also seen brand new kits for as little as $15 on ebay. Of course, then you have to pay shipping. It is a pretty small package. It could fit in a padded envelope.

Now, I do not have Nike shoes, I have Asics. So based on online reading, I also got a Shoe Pouch from Grantwood Technology, in dark pink. There are other pouches out there, but I have this aversion to buying things online unless I know, absolutely, that they will work for me. The product descriptions from the company are not always good enough for me (as I will say more about below).

I just have to say, I love Grantwood Technology. My Shoe Pouch arrived first, in a small padded envelope. In the shoe pouch package was a yellow notecard envelope that said "OPEN ME" on it. Very inviting. So I did. Inside that was a lovely thank you note to me for purchasing their products and expressing how much they appreciated my business. Also urging me to please contact them should I have any problems, and allow them to help me so I did not have any "hassles" with their product.

I mention this note because I DID contact them. I had a problem understanding how to attach the Shoe Pouch to my shoe. I saw that it was somehow laced on, and there were instructions with the pouch, but the instructions did not seem to "go" with the product. Since I had their thank you note handy, I called them up. The nice girl who answered the phone for the company knew the product and understood where I was confused.

From the pictures and instructions, it appears that the pouch is attached by running your shoe laces through these straps sewn to the pouch back. However, my pouch had those straps completely sewn down. The nice girl told me the sewing should have created 4 loops, one at each end of each strap. The laces go through these loops. In the product picture, I can see these 4 little "tabs" sticking out from behind the pouch -- these are loops.

Once she had explained, I was able to see immediately how to attach the pouch. Without their convenient phone number and written invitation handy, I probably would have tried to figure it out myself by wasting time searching online for the answer. The call took about 2 minutes.

Therefore I heartily recommend Grantwood Technology to anyone who owns Apple products -- not just people who also exercise. They've got some great items, so check them out!

Once I got my pouch attached to my shoe correctly, I only had to wait for my sport kit to arrive. When it did, I was so excited!

I just need to stop there for a minute. This thing is for RUNNING and I was SO EXCITED to get it.

Consider it. Blows my mind. Hello -- is this me? Is this my life?

According to the instructions, the sensor could be activated by simply starting the Nike app on your iPhone. So I looked for this app. I don't have an iPhone 4, but I thought I had a 3GS. Unlike with Grantwood Technology, there was no convenient phone number handy for me to call and ask "What am I doing wrong?" I went online, looking for help. No luck.

It turns out I have an iPhone 3G, which I probably knew way back in my brain somewhere. But it was disappointing that the first instruction didn't work for me. And there was no alternate instruction included. I tried plugging the white receiver into my iPhone, and of course it is not compatible.

Apple, I love you, but you tick me off, because I think ALL your products should be interoperable. I think all earbuds should work with all phones, all software should work with all products, and all equipment should work together. I should not have to have one cord to connect my phone to my laptop, and another cord to connect my iPod. And I know this is done ON PURPOSE, in order to compel people to have to keep buying more stuff. I know it is planned obsolescence, and it makes me want to punch you in the neck, Apple.

Now the product information did say that the kit was compatible with ALL iPods, or I would have been ticked in the extreme. Yes the product info says, "compatible with iPhone 3GS and above." However, what is the music app called on my iPhone? It is labeled "iPod." And I cannot recall off the top of my head if my phone has an S on the product name or not.

This is the kind of crap that makes me crazy inside. Mainly because I know that *I* can figure it out, eventually, and many other people can figure it out. But it creates this elitist, snobbish sort of barrier to access, and dissuades people from trying. Just try going into a Starbucks if all you want is a plain cup of coffee, and everyone around you is ordering a Venti Grande half caf no whip with mochalatta shot. WOT??? It's deliberately intimidating. And then the people who can figure it out are supposed to have some sort of smug feeling of superiority: "I'm a MAC user." And I am aware of the digital divide, and stuff like this just plays into that. Please. I have a degree in anthropology and my area of interest is status and class issues. Just read Veblen's Theory of the Leisure Class to see that I am not making things up. This is all on purpose. I find it irritating.

Anyhoo....

I do have an actual iPod. Not a new one. A first generation Nano. This thing is so old it didn't even come in colors! I am pleased to say that the receiver did plug in just fine and the software showed up. Good for you, Apple.

Well, this was the journey. It was not "hard" exactly. But I did have to have some motivation to proceed. As I've discussed before, and many of us know, there are all kinds of barriers to exercise if you are not born athletic by nature. If you are not motivated, just finding a pair of shorts to wear and driving to a gym is enough of a barrier to think, "I'll do it sommmmmeeeedaaaayyyy..."

And my point has been, when it comes to exercise, what makes a person do it today? And the next day? And the next?

So here I was today, with my pouch laced to my shoes, the sensor tucked inside, and I happen to have an iPod, and now a receiver attached to it. Loaded up with music. Privilege much?

I even just did laundry so all my workout gear was fresh and clean. Ready and waiting. The only barrier I had was... the WEATHER. aaaaahhhh!

It's been cold and snowy. People can and do run in the cold, and I have. But snowy means sidewalks are not shoveled. Parks with trails don't have the snow cleared. And I fell on some ice 3 years ago and broke my wrist. I also hurt my ankle so badly I could not walk for several days, and I limped badly for several months. I am leary of running in the snow.

Today was not too cold - about 30 degrees. That is practically balmy at this stage of winter. So I hoped to give my new gadet / tool / toy / something a whirl.

I suited up and spent a lot of time at home stretching, warming up, doing exercises. I've been reading the book Chi Running, and it gave some additional stretches and techniques to include.

This time I looked at the clock before I started. I put on a slower song to start. I did a lot of the extra stretches as well as all the ones I have been doing all along. I noted that I can bend farther now and I am a bit more flexible. However, the extra exercises really got my heart pumping and my breath going. I checked the clock when I was done, and rather than the 5-7 minutes I had estimated, I saw I had spent 14 minutes on this warm up.

I think that is pretty good. But I would like to caution anyone reading that I had to work up to that. Arm circles, for instance -- I started with 4 only. Now I do 8. Some exercises I did maybe 2 when I began, Now I do 8 of them. Doing 2 of an exercise is just fine. Just do 2 next time as well. In my opinion, it's better to do less than you could, and have some success, than push yourself so far the first time you don't want to do anything more.

Then I got my stuff together and took a long drive to look for a new park to run in. I had to run some errands in this neighborhood anyway. Every park I went to had not had the snow cleared. I had pretty much decided to give up until spring thaw when I had an idea. I knew of a quiet neighborhood with a cul-de-sac nearby. So I drove over there, parked, set myself up, and set off.

I had played a bit with the the sport kit already. I had set up the voice mode (female or male), the power song ("Boom! Shake the Room!" by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. I so don't care at all about my music being "cool" LOL, and I love old school hip hop), and I knew I had to "calibrate" to both my walk and my run to the sport kit.

So to calibrate -- you set it all up as I've described, and then you start walking or running. I first calibrated to my walk because I wanted to warm up a bit again. The calibration requires a distance of 0.25 km.

I just want to specify something I have alluded to before. Up until today I have had no idea at all what distance or speed I have been going. I just knew about how much time I spent, and the level of intensity as per my own perceived effort level. I did not go so fast I could not sing along with my music if I chose (my life is a cage but on stage I'm FREE...).

Walking that distance was no problem at all. Calibration done.

Then I tried running it. Ugggghhhh. What happened? I ran until the time when I would slow to a walk. I checked the darn thing and it said the dreaded words:

Calibration failed.

Drat.

So I kept walking, then I set it up again, and I told myself I was going to run far enough to at least calibrate it. No matter how hard it was.

0.25 km. That is like 400 meters. Not very far. I just kept going.

Calibration successful! Yay!

Now the issue.... I still had not done a "workout" for the thing to track! I had spent 14 minutes stretching and warming up, then walking to calibrate, and 2 very short running periods. uuuuuuhhhhnnnn....

I still don't like to push myself too hard, too fast. I do not want to end up in pain. I also don't want to be so slow I might as well not bother.

I looked to see the shortest distance I could set it at. Which was one half of a mile.

Now from one perspective, that is a pathetically small amount of distance. I could walk it no problem. And most "runners" generally go at least 2-3 miles per run, or 6-10 if in training for a race. I've been doing this activity for 4 months and I still did not think I could run, without slowing to a walk, for an entire half mile.

Whatever. I do this for me, not so some little machine can tell me if I am doing a good job.

I had been walking while I fiddled with the thing, so I set it to the half mile workout and started.

My shins were a bit tight already. I did some of the techniques from Chi Running. I worked on my lean, my posture, my spine, my stride. I listened to my music. I breathed. I smiled. I looked at the sky. I laughed.

Before I had time to blink twice, a feamle voice said: "Congratulations! You have finished your workout!"

huh wha....??? I barely started! I'm not even out of breath!

I slowed to a walk and looked around. How did this happen? How did I get here?

A half mile? Me? Really?

Was I slow. Oh hell yes. According to the thing my speed is 12.38 miles per hour.

You know what is even slower than that? Sitting on my ass on the couch watching TV, eating chips, and playing World of Warcraft on the computer. That is more than slow, it is non-existant movement.

I remember back in September when I could not run for 60 seconds consecutively without agonizing shin pain. And here I was, weighing the same, body looks the same (I'm pretty sure it does), clothes the same....

But today I could run a half mile without stopping or even being out of breath.

I was so darn excited that I set it for another half mile and kept going. This time I did walk a bit and then run some.

Ok can I repeat that, for all you couch slugs out there who think exercise is a four letter word?

I finished my workout and then I reset the thing so I could keep going.

I was running around a small loop. As I came out of the loop, I could see my car, and I headed that way. As I got close to it, I could see on the iPod that I was close to finishing the mile. If I stopped at my car I would be a bit short, but if I kept going I would hit a mile not too far past.

I kept going. I was walking at this point, because I wanted to cool down a bit, but I kept going until the nice lady on my iPod said, "Congratulations!"

Ok that is another really important thing to note for the exercise-avoidant out there.

I would have stopped, but my little thing-y here told me if I just went a wee bit longer I would be at a mile, a nice round amount of distance. So I kept going. I went a bit longer than I might have -- because I knew how close I was.

That was worth all the hassle right there. I won't say it's worth the price, because mine was a gift, but I kind of think it is worth it.

As it turns out, I didn't work it right this first time. I needed to "end workout" and then start another one, instead of just "keep going." If I had a newer iPod with a spiffy color screen and all the graphics, this might have been more obvious to me at the time. So My New Lady Friend only really recorded the first half mile.

That is fine and dandy with me. It is better than what I had before. Which was... NOTHING.

So this is a nice long blather about the details of my life. Let's recap, shall we?

6 months ago my exercise consisted of running out the door to my class about 10 minutes late, as usual, hyperventilating, and possibly, walking over campus dragging a computer bag with me.

5 months ago I tried running and could not even run slowly for 60 seconds consecutively.

3 months ago I finally had a day where I had to slow to a walk due to being out of breath, not the pain of crippling shin splints.

Last month I went running IN THE SNOW. On a gray, chilly day with nothing outside to recommend the day. Except I wanted to be outside, and I wanted some exercise.

This month I tried doing the shortest workout ever and it was too short for me... so I did it again.

IN THE SNOW.

Today I signed up for an account at nikeplus.com to track my runs.

According to My New Lady Friend, I went for 15 minutes (this does not include the 14 minute warm up, the walking to calibrate the device, the 2 short runs to calibrate, and the walk to cool down, and the cool down stretches I did). I burned a whopping 92 calories.

I don't care! It was great and I can't wait to do it again.

Just wait until spring. I'll be outside enjoying the sunshine. Who knows how far or how fast I'll be able to go.

Pain

2011-01-14T19:12:00.002-06:00

So today I went running again. It was a gray, gloomy, chilly day, in the 20s. There is snow on the ground, but it is old enough that most places have the sidewalk cleared.

Since part of my reason for writing about running is to possibly encourage people who want to start an exercise program, but perhaps think, "I can't do it" or "It sounds too hard / elaborate / complicated / beyond my abilities," I will share these truths and realities with you, Internetz:

- When I got out of my car and looked at my phone, it said 4:29. When I got back to my car and collapsed in my seat, my phone said 4:40. That's right, a whole 11 minutes outside. It is not a lot of time, here.

- I did not run the whole 11 minutes. I walked at the beginning, I walked at the end, and I walked here and there in the middle too.

- Since it was cold today, I did do a nice long stretch and warm up at home. I did not time it, but I did do every exercise, even the ones I don't like. I puffed and groaned my way through it while listened to "Sweat Jam, Vol. 3" from like 1992 or something.

- The music I listened to while warming up was too fast. I didn't want to listen to slower music because I was trying to WAKE UP. But I caught myself bouncing with the beat. You should NOT bounce when stretching. Ever. I also caught myself doing the exercises to the beat, which was too fast.

- I don't know how long my warm up was. But I know it got my heart pumping and I started to break a sweat. It also worked out a lot of kinks and aches I had from sitting around too much this week, which is why I did it. Based on the number of songs I listened to, it was about 7 minutes, which is typical.

- If I was to think about my time today as a "workout" I would include the time I spent warming up in that. Still, the whole thing together was maybe 20 minutes maximum. With a 10 minute drive to a park in the middle of it. This is not a lot. I am not workout maven reaching heights to which mere mortals cannot ascribe. That's a fancy way of saying, I am not doing anything a typical person could not do.

- When I got out of my car and started walking, I was cold. I started running maybe too soon and kept going maybe too long before slowing to a walk, because I was cold. When I got back to my car I was warm and I was sweating, and I needed water, but I wasn't dying or anything.

- I drove to a small park I have tried before. It had a small loop. I went around the park loop twice. I spent more of the time running than walking, this time.

- The path at this park is a concrete sidewalk, and it was frozen. So I ran on frozen concrete. I do not have shin splints and I did not have pain in my shins. (HOORAY)

- I did stop after 2 loops because my back was hurting, particularly my lower back. Now, I absolutely do warm up and stretch exercises for my back. I think I just don't have enough core strength right now. So now, instead of paying attention to the pain or lack of in my shins, I am going to pay attention to my back. Maybe add in some more exercises or stretches, try and push myself a little, and mark how well I can take it. I'll pay attention to this as a mark of my progress. Perhaps by spring my back will not ache any more. I think that is a reasonable goal to have.

Right now, I am in pain. Not crippling pain, but pain. My whole back hurts, my shoulders, my upper arms. Not the stabbing ache of my lower back in the spinal area, which is what I get while I am trying to run. No, it is a muscle ache.

This is strange to me because... well I don't use my back muscles when I run. Do I? Not like I use my leg muscles. But that's what aches. From the back of my neck all the way down my back, and my upper arms. It feels like I did a weight workout in those areas and overdid it some.

What I really wish is that I could stretch when I cool down. Before the snow hit, I did that. I wold finish my time and then sit on the grass or a bench, and do different stretches for my legs and my back. But now it is cold and there is snow, so my cool down is just walking the last part and that's it.

I think today I pushed myself. I know, it was eleven minutes -- big workout! But I ran longer than I walked, and a bit faster than I have been. I did not do the Hobbit Shuffle. My stride was longer. I had more speed.

Now my body aches and I would like to stretch those muscles but I am not in a place where I can do that.

This post contains a lot of estimates and guessing. It's not really precise. I don't know how far I go or how fast. I don't have any specifics on this. I used to use the timer but now I find it a pain to switch from the iPod on my phone to the timer while I am running. I am sick of doing that. So I just listen to music and go.

I am starting to feel like it would be helpful and motivating to have some more specific data on my distance or speed or time. Nike has a sport kit that combines with an iPod or iPhone and the Nike website to track this information. It is not that expensive. Of course, I am thinking, I really don't want to spend more money on running. I just want to DO it. And would I really want to hook the darn thing up to my computer? I barely sync my phone as it is.

I have been looking on ebay to see if anyone is selling the kit. I have seen some for less than $15, plus shipping costs. I am thinking about it. Truth be told, I want to buy it but I am telling myself not to. The point of running is that it's not supposed to cost what a gym membership costs. It's supposed to be cheaper. So I don't know.

I recently graduated from graduate school and I got a nice cash gift from my mother. Most of it will go to bills and living expenses. But I am debating spending part of it on this Nike kit. But I don't want to spend money on a piece of technology that I might not use.

On the other hand, I did not want to buy these shoes either, and it was the fact that I spent money on them that has really pushed me to keep going. To get my money's worth out of them. At this point I really feel that I have done so.

Why Do I Run?

2011-01-03T10:22:00.005-06:00

I mentioned before that one of the things that I did before I started running was read the running/weight loss posts on the blog of rather well-known scrapbooker. She was very specific about what she did, in what order, how long, what she bought, what she eats. That step-by-step information really inspired me and got me thinking about trying to take up running again, even though I had tried and failed many times before.

Now it is January and, on this same blog, of course the conversation is all about how to start working out, losing weight, and be healthier in 2011. The constant question posed is about motivation.

How do you stay motivated?

I can't tell anyone how to lose weight, get in shape, be thinner, train for a marathon. Not now. But I can talk about how I started running, how I have continued it, and why I keep doing it, right now, at this moment. I can talk about my own motivation.

Here's what happened to me today. I knew I had a morning appointment out in the suburbs today, so I had planned to go for a run afterwards. I knew the office was next to a park, I knew I would be getting up early, and I knew that after my appointment, I'd have the rest of the morning free. And I really don't spend a lot of time running -- 30 to 40 minutes at the most. So I got up today, suited myself up, and went to my car to drive over.

Well. The weather was pretty bad today. Not bad enough to keep me indoors all day, but it was definitely not inspiring. Not only was it cold, but the sky was gray, a wind was blowing, and freezing little ice chips were floating around.

So as I drove to my appointment, I decided that today was not the day to run. And I was disappointed about that.

I went to my appointment, came out 20 minutes later, went to my car, got my stuff, started walking, and then jogged in the park. I didn't go very long, because I had problems with my music. I would have gone longer if I could - I felt like I was just getting started when I came back to my car.

The point of this little story is about motivation. Why would I be motivated to go running (or jogging) in the snow on a cold, gray day?

Everyone is different. Some people are motivated by having a big something to shoot for. Sometimes that is true for me too. But more often I am motivated by small things along the way, and the big picture is intimidating.

So, say I was 100 lbs. overweight, and I spent most of my days sitting on a couch, in a car, or at the computer. Then I decided that I wanted to lose that 100 lbs. and I was going to finally Get! In! Shape! That would require a 180 degree turnaround in my entire lifestyle.

For some people, that really works. It's a cut off point. There is a before and an after. I think that would last for less than a day before I just gave up on the whole thing.

I am not motivated like that, especially not when it comes to diet and exercise. It feels too much like a punishment. I am not going to "punish" myself for being out of shape or overweight. I am not going to "work" to pay off all the chocolate I've eaten and all the TV I've watched.

What motivates me is feeling like this is a treat I get to give myself. How do I think of it as a treat? I have already posted about some of the ways I keep the clothes and the music and the rest of it set aside as something special.

But it is more than just a mind game. The media doesn't always portray this accurately but... exercise feels good. It feels good physically.... but just as important, it feels good emotionally.

Last night I watched some show on MTV (what was I thinking) called "I Used to Be Fat." The program spent a lot of time showing some poor girl at 250 lbs who got a boot-camp style trainer who yelled at her and forced her to push herself exercising the first day to the point where she became physically sick. Eventually she did lose 90 lbs but as the show pointed out, to lose 90 lbs. in 90 days she had to do these intense workouts every single day, all summer, and go on a strict diet. Is she going to be able to keep that up for the rest of her life???

The rewards, as portrayed by this program, were:

1) she set a goal and she met it by working hard, which gave her confidence
2) she was able to wear a sexy costume for Halloween
3) she was able to shop for clothes in a regular boutique, and she looked much better

NONE of that is motivating OR inspiring. In fact, it is discouraging in a very insidious way that I don't think most people are aware of.

So here's the real truth, as it exists for me, right now.

Despite the shin splints I have suffered, running feels good. In fact, most forms of exercise feel good to me. They do, actually, feel good while I am doing them. Exercise does not feel good, to me, when or if I am making myself sick, crying and vomiting in the bathroom. It doesn't feel good physically, it doesn't feel good emotionally.

Not all exercise is equally enjoyable -- I don't particularly like weight training, and I don't like working out on machines inside. But as I've said many times before, when I go running, afterwards, I feel amazing. The longer and harder I run, the more amazing I feel. I have to break a sweat and be breathing hard in order to get the benefit, so just taking a walk doesn't work for me.

Now really, if getting on a treadmill made you feel like you had The Big O, wouldn't you do it as often as you could? It's maybe not quite at that level for me, but yes, it feels really, really good.

I've also mentioned that what I do my stretching warm up, it hurts, but it hurts in a way that feels good.

One of the things I do is really try and feel my body, before and after. When I get up to stretch, I try and feel how I am tight, how I ache, and where. If you are physically able to do so, you could try doing a little neck roll right now. Drop your chin to your chest and feel the stretch at the back of the neck and top of your shoulders. Feel the tightness. Then roll your head around in a slow circle, and feel every tendon, every muscle, every bone.

Do it a few times (if you are physically able), then stop, then try and feel how that part of your body feels. For me, it feels a whole lot better afterwards. I liken it to how I feel after a long, hot shower when I am dirty and sweaty, or after a good sleep when I am really tired.

Since I didn't warm up my usual way today, and I didn't stretch after, I can feel it now. My legs are aching, my hips ache a bit. I feel a little antsy sitting here in the chair. I would like to get up and stretch to work that out. I'm aware of it because I try and feel it, and not numb out.

I guess this is just a really long winded way of saying that I can't and don't focus on how I am going to look or feel weeks or months from now. I concentrate on how I feel right now, in the moment, at the moment. That is one form of motivation.

Exercise is just not portrayed that way in the mainstream, as far as I am concerned, and for people who are not inherently athletic, all you see is the negative, non-motivating aspects of exercise. It is hard, it is boring, it is sweaty, it is painful. It is work. It is a punishment of some kind for being "lazy" and "eating [fill in "bad" food]." You have been bad and exercise is some kind of Purgatory where you work off your sins. Then, if you are out of shape, you get up and try something and you get shin splints, which is pain, you can't breathe, your body aches, and you are all sweaty and gross.

Geez, I don't want to do that. Does that sound appealing???

Now, what I have learned, is that to get the feel-good benefit, I do have to push myself a bit. I just have to push myself to the point beyond my brain thinking, "This is boring, can I stop yet?" So taking a walk around the block, or 10 blocks, just makes my back ache and does not help me out. I have to break a sweat and I have to feel my heart pound a bit.

Consider, if you are really overweight, you could get to that point in less than 5 minutes. Five minutes.

Now, when that is shown on television, it looks terrible! People are sweaty, red faced, panting, they look like they are straining, about to bust a gasket. But in reality, for me, it feels GREAT. Now when I run, I actually burst into laughter many times, because it just feels so joyous.

So I've talked a little about the immediate, physical benefits of my form of exercise. But that is not enough to really motivate me alone. Another aspect which is mentioned in passing but not emphasized enough is the emotional benefits.

On the program I mentioned above, the trainer did verbally say that exercise was a great way of relieving stress and releasing frustration. But the program spent a good 10 minutes showing the poor girl crying and whining, red faced and heaving, looking unhappy, and almost passed out on the floor by the toilet. Someone can say this or that. I can write this or that. But if I could show it, well that would be far more helpful and motivating.

The emotional benefits I get from going for a run -- even a short, slow jog like I had today -- are both immediate and long term.

Ok, now I am going to get a little woo-woo on you. I believe that the world is made up of energy. I am no physicist, but at the atomic level, matter is made up of energy units, so I guess I am not far off. Much like water, energy has to remain flowing. It can become trapped and stagnate. And that, to me, feels just awful.

To experience this for yourself, check in with how you feel right now. Then go de-clutter something, whether it's a drawer, a counter, or your purse. Then see how you feel. Personally, I feel better. All that stagnant energy gets swept up and moved along.

So, for me, excess energy -- from the food I eat, but also from the people and occurances/events/emotions around me -- pools and sits in my body. It sits in a physical form (we see it as fat) but it also sits in a non-physical form.

When I run, I use up the top "level" of energy that is sitting stagnant, pooling corners. It gets swept up and used, and then the energy sitting in unused corners gets used, and then I generate more energy to keep going, and the energy in my body flows. The old, stale energy I've been holding on to is gone and replaced with fresh, new energy. I guess it is similar to decluttering, throwing out things you don't need any more, clearing space.

The body is really an amazing piece of machinery. Energy is not really used up or destroyed, it just changes form.

The only thing people really talk about is how exercise uses up the physical energy, burns off the "fat." But it also uses up and cycles out the old, stagnant energy and freshens it all up. Like opening up the windows in the spring after a long winter and airing out the room.

That is also connected to why running also feels very good to me physically. When I am feeling "bad," I use stretching and running to alleviate those feelings. I won't define what bad means for anyone else -- it is different for every person. It could be something big like anxiety or depression, or something smaller like feeling crabby, out of sorts, overwhelmed, in a blue funk.

Either way, when I run...

1) My brain shuts off beyond thinking about making it to the next step or the next minute or the next stretch of track. Blessed relief.

2) The old energy in my body gets cycled out and I feel fresh and new. I am usually taking deep breaths at the time so I liken it to deep breathing to clear out the lungs.

3) When I stop running, I feel physically great.

3) Any feelings of bad I was having are magically wiped away and replaced.

Oh, what replaces them? Well that is the coolest, most awesome-est part.

Feelings of

...accomplishment.
...appreciation.
...enjoyment.
...being alive.
...amazement.

That last one is really important.

When I run, I am amazed by my own body.

When it comes to my own body I experience a serious LACK of "amazement" on a regular basis. This is an extremely negative way to live - just ignoring what there is to amaze me is living in lack. You don't have to be saying or thinking negative things to be in a negative state. One of the reasons I am thankful I had a bad fall and broke my wrist and had to be in a cast and go through physical therapy is that now, my wrist amazes me. Most of the time it doesn't, but once in a while I expect my wrist to do something that I remember I could not do for six months or a year. And it does it. And I stop and stare and look at my own wrist carrying a bottle of laundry detergent or something, and I think, "Wow. Look at that. AMAZING."

I need to do that with the rest of my body, and sadly, I don't. Not enough. When it comes to my body I am like one of those ingrate teenagers you want to slap because it's not enough that you feed her and clothe her and care for her and do her laundry and cook her meals and drive her to school, oh no, if you don't give her an iPhone you are mean, you are a BAD MOM.

Speaking of the iPhone, I remember when it came out. Do you? Do you have one? Remember when you started using apps and you were all like, Wow, this thing is AMAZING! When's the last time you looked at your own ankles and thought the same thing?

So this is how it is for me. I become amazed. I experience my body as the amazing piece of the world that it is. Sometimes I am amazed by my brain. Sometimes I am amazed by my emotions. Sometimes I am amazed spiritually. But amazed by my physical body - very very rare. I ignore the things it does do, and berate it for the things it doesn't do.

As women, I don't think we are trained to be amazed at our own bodies. I think we are far too often trained to not be all full of ourselves. I think many of us know what it's like to look at another woman and think, "Well SHE thinks she's all that, doesn't she???" I do it, and I still do it no matter how much I fight it intellectually.

When I run, I feel amazed. During and after. The fact that I had so much struggle with shin splints, with pain, at the beginning, just contributes to my own amazement. Now, when I run without pain, I am amazed.

Today, I did not get my usual warm up (it was cold); I just started jogging a bit after I had walked. I could feel a few twinges, but not the stabbing pains of September. I was amazed. I ran and I felt no pain. There has been some improvement in my shin muscles. there has been some strengthening.

When I look at my phone timer and see that I can now run twice as long as I used to, I am amazed.

And that lasts pretty much... the whole day.

Today, I didn't go home yet, so I am still walking around in my workout clothes and shies. These are not the most flattering clothes I could wear. But when I go to the ladies room and catch a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror, I am not critical. I don't automatically think, "Ugh, I look fat / terrible / schlumpy / old / tired."

Instead, I feel good. I feel good about myself, I feel good about my day. Instead of looking at myself in a negative way, I look at myself and I am amazed.

And I am amazed by the world and everything in it. I run because when I do it, I feel better about myself. I feel better about my body. I don't feel overweight and middle aged and tired and jaded. I feel alive, and I am amazed by my legs, my lungs, my hips, my arms, my eyes. I run in beautiful areas and I look at the world and I see the beauty of the trees, the sky, the grass, the water. I have plenty of time to see the world around me, because I am still not very fast.

I write posts about running so I can reflect and remember. I am not sure than anyone else even wants to read it all, but I know I go back and I read it, and then I compare what was with what is, and I see the difference.

I hope, if the time comes when circumstances conspire to end my running habit, I might stumble across this epic that I wrote here. And that I might re-read it. And that I might be inspired to get up and get going.

So.... you know what is motivating?

Not being PUNISHED.

Being AMAZED.

More Running, Now with No Shin Splints

2011-01-03T08:16:00.008-06:00

{this is now my cell phone picture}

So I guess a while back I said I was going to post more about my actual warm up and running itself. Recently my sister asked me on Facebook how I overcame my shin splints and in replying to her, I remembered I had meant to write it all out.

Please keep in mind that I am not a doctor or a health professional of any kind. What works for others does not work for me and actually created my pain. So what works for me might not work for you, or might cause physical problems for you that I could not forsee. Always consult your own health professionals and make your own decisions based on your own situation and your own body.

Shin splints were a huge problem for me. They have been a problem for years. It has not mattered whether I was in shape or not, whether I had been exercising or not, or what I weighed. Shin splints, as far as I know, refers to pain in a specific muscle attached to a specific bone. To me, it felt like knives stabbing me in my legs. I could not even walk or stand, if I overdid it. And "overdid it" meant running for more than 60 seconds. More than once, I got myself stranded too far from home and unable to even walk back, wondering what I could do to get home. This is one reason why I have to be picky about where I go running. It has to be a loop, a small/short one -- around the block, around a small lake or pond, around a small park, around a track.

Yesterday I went running in 25 degree weather and I did not have any shin splints at all. Oh I had other issues, but not shin splints. So I feel very successful. Here's the combination of things that has worked for me. These things were important not just for shin splints, but to keep me running when other times, I just gave up on the whole process.

How I Overcame My Shin Splints

1. The Right Shoes (and socks). I've already posted about this in detail. Since then I've found more socks at a lower price, at WalMart of course.

2) Change Pavement/Surface. You know where I see people running all the time? Down the sidewalk. You know what the worst surface is to run on? I don't, but concrete is right up there. And how would anyone know this, seeing all these healthy young people running fleetfoot down the sidewalk?!?

When I started running this time around, I was living in a suburban housing development and they had just repaved the street. My first day out, I started by running down the sidewalk. Big mistake. After I did some reading and bought some shoes, I stepped off the sidewalk and ran on the very cushy new tar. Please keep in mind, running in the street while wearing headphones and blasting music can be dangerous. Especially considering how many people text and drive these days. I chose a dead end loop in a closed development, I ran in the parking lane, I ran on the wrong side of the street so I could see any oncoming cars, I ran in the middle of the day when most people were at work, and I was always aware of my surroundings. So be smart.

Now I live in the city. When I want to run, I usually drive to the suburbs. I drive to a local high school with a new running track open to the community. Sometimes I drive to small parks. One local soccer field has a crushed gravel trail circling it. So I have to have time to do this, and that makes a difference. I have not yet been able to just step outside my front door and start running.

Basically, running on sidewalks is advanced. I know, right?

3) Stretch Pre-Run -- Not After. This is a big one. It almost certainly made the biggest difference for me. Every single thing I read about running said the opposite: Never ever stretch pre-run. Never stretch "cold muscles." Warm up for running should be several minutes of fast walking or slow jogging.

Bollocks. Following that advice caused me so much pain and frustration. The first time I actually stretched out before I went out to run, the difference was remarkable.

Now, before even I start walking, I warm up by stretching. I have a set routine I do, one I learned back in 1993 or something. As a young girl I took dance lessons and I wanted to be a dancer. So I am familiar with stretching and warming up muscles, especially mine. I am perhaps a bit more familiar with the process than your average non-athletic person.

I do not just start stretching my legs cold. Absolutely not. I start with my head and neck. Then I move to my shoulders, and arms. Then I do my rib cage, my waist, and my hips.

I do all of this very, very s l o w l y. It is a part of my whole running routine. I don't try and rush it to "get to the point." Some of the stretches are almost painful, but it's a pain that feels good. If you don't know what that means, well, I can't explain it. When your physical body is tight, is sore, when your muscles are stiff, and you stretch them right, it will hurt a bit but it will also feel really good. From my dance background I know how to stretch really slowly.

The exception of course, is the leg stretches, which I absolutely detest. I loathe them because they are hard. I am not as flexible as I was as a young girl. I am heavier. Bending down to the ground and holding it while my legs stretch out can be very difficult. The stretching exercises I do for my legs get my heart started pounding. I am usually wheezing and groaning out loud like an old lady, "uuuuuuuuuhhhhnnnn...." But I know if I skimp on these stretches, at all, I will pay for it with pain later.

I might post what I do to warm up, at a later date. I should also mention that I had to build up the warm up. Some things I do now, I had to skip at first. Some things I do 8 times now, I started doing 4 times and worked up to it. My warm up is generally at least 10 minutes, sometimes 15.

While I do my warm up I am listening to music on my iPhone, and I look at the time when I start because I am looking at the phone anyway to pick a song. If my warm up took only 7 minutes, I know I skimped on something, usually leg and shin stretches. I either do more or I know my run will be shorter.

When I have finished stretching, I start walking. I do not walk fast and pump my arms like I am exercising right now, people. I do not try and get my heart rate up with the walk. I learned that lesson as well. I walk at my normal pace. I might walk a little or a lot, just depends how I feel.

Now it is winter, I have also learned if the weather is inclement at all, I will skimp on the warm up if I try and do it outside. I don't mean to, but I can't stretch or run in my winter coat and hat, so I get cold. So I have learned to do the whole thing at home. Yes, then it means there is a gap, because I have to then drive 10-15 minutes to wherever I am going to run. It's not optimal. I'd rather stretch outside and start my run right away, and make it a whole single endeavor. But I can't. It's ok.

I think I mentioned before that I don't listen to my iPod because it's a PITA to set it up, and that I have different music on my phone, iPod, and laptop. Well, since then I have actually found my iPod, and I found my iPod speakers, and I actually found the cord to connect the iPod to my computer (been lost since way before I bought this computer) and I set them all up at home. I also changed the music on the iPod for the first time since I bought it (about 5 years ago). So now, it's not so bad to do a nice stretch routine at home. I put on a really good song and enjoy not having to wear earbuds. I also sometimes do this stretch routine when I know I can't go running.

I do also stretch some after I finish running. I do different stretches then.

4) Slow down. A LOT. Everything I read said that shin splints come from doing too much too soon. Alleviate shin splints by doing less. Well, how in the heck could I do less?

When I started running this time around, I signed up for one of those daily emails that are supposed to turn you into a runner in a month. The first email said something like, Walk briskly 5 minutes. Run 1 minute. Walk 1 minute. Repeat 3 times. How could I do less than 1 minute?!?!?! I was especially frustrated because before I would run until I was out of breath, then walk, then run more. I could run way more than just 1 minute without being out of breath.

And even more frustrating - if, the first time I ran, I could do 3 sets of 1 min/1 min before pain set in, the next day I could not even finish the 5 minute walk before I was hobbling in pain. I couldn't even walk. Oh I was so frustrated.

So first I bought the shoes, and I tried again. Still in pain.
Then I stepped off the sidewalk. Still in pain.
Then I added the warm up routine. Still in pain.

So then, finally, I slowed down. I found a way to do even less. I lessened my expectations. I think we have all been conditioned by the horrid trainers on Humiliation-Fests list "The Biggest Loser" to think we have to push ourselves past where we think we can go. And maybe we do. But not the first day!

I learned that whatever it is you can do, do half of that. That's a good piece of advice in many areas. Stop eating before you feel full, otherwise you'll find you ate too much. Stop shopping before you spend ALL your money. Take your foot off the gas in the school zone. Don't watch the whole season on DVD in one day. Leave something for later.

I lessened my time. I lessened my distance. I lessened my speed.

First, I changed it up so I was only running for 30 seconds at a time. It really killed me, you know. It killed me to stop running when my heart rate had not even gotten up and I was barely breathing hard. 30 seconds. Humiliating. But what my lungs could do, my shins could not. My phone timer doesn't go less than a minute. I would set the phone for 2 minutes and hold it in my hand. I would walk for 1:30, then run for the last 30 seconds, and stop when the timer went off. Then reset and do it again. And again. I found that while the first couple times were easy, by the 3rd time I was straining a bit, and beyond 4 times was a challenge, all without shin pain.

I also changed my stride. That is an idea I got from a couple of running books I looked at. I call my stride The Hobbit Shuffle. I didn't particularly think my original stride was all that big a deal. When I ran up and down in the running shoe store, I asked the sales clerk if my form looked right. She replied that I looked like I was "floating." I loved running because when I ran, I felt like I was floating.

Apparently, that was not a good idea, for me, at the time. Another disappointment.

So now, I barely pick my feet up when I run. My steps are very very short. In fact, I am only barely beyond running in place. And my steps are s l o w. Yes, there is a way to be running (after a fashion) and be slow. I make sure I land on my heel and roll through my whole foot. I keep my arms bent 90 degrees, but my hands are relaxed.

I have a couple of very simple ways of making sure I am not going too fast, too soon.

First, I sing. In fact, I am very vocal during my whole running process. I groan like an old lady when I stretch: "uuuuuuhhhhhhhnnnnnnn..." or "grooooooaaaaaannnn...." And then I sing along with my music. And I like SINGERS. I listen to Celine Dion and Christina Aguilera. So I can't sing with every note but I try and sing parts. If I am too out of breath to sing, I slow down.

Here's me running:

*wheeze wheeze wheeze* ...don't wanna *mumble mumble* your.... GRAAAVITYYYYY... *moaaaan*... *groooaaaaannn*.. keeping me... *wheeeeezzzze*... DOOOOOOOWWWWNNNNNN.... *makes sound like a rusty door hinge creaking open...squeeeeeeee....*...*groooooannnn*

I also swear aloud, sometimes saying the worst, the dirtiest things I can think of (when I am trying to push myself a bit further), or I laugh out loud, or I make sounds like "WHEEEEEE!!!" or "AAAAHHHHHH!"

I've demonstrated my running technique for a few friends, when they ask me about running. Oh all of them think this is very very funny. They just crack up. Maybe they think I am kidding. No, these are good friends. They know I am not kidding.

Seriously, this is why I have to find places to run that are deserted. When I have tried running where there are other people around, I always have to cut it short. I don't know why being loud helps me out, but it does.

The second thing I do is pay attention to my body, and especially if I feel my muscles tensing up. Running very very slowly (I guess it would be called jogging at my rate) allows me to keep my attention on my body and not on distance or speed or anything like that. It's not a race. No one else is around. I'm not trying to get anywhere or outrun anything. My movement is so slow and deliberate, I can feel it when my muscles started to tense and then adjust.

I'm at the point now where I do run faster, with a longer stride, but I ease into it. I also feel fine lightening up, slowing down, walking if I want to. I don't just hit the ground running like a speed freak and keep going until I have finished my 6 miles or whatever distance. I actually have no idea what distance or speed I might be going. I'd like to find out -- but not yet.

--------------

So those are the things I am doing, or have done.

I have not lost any weight. But there are still changes. I notice them. Here are how things have changed since September:

* I stretch even more and even longer. I spend more time on my legs and shins. I can bend farther down and I am more flexible.

* I no longer have any kind of shin splints when I run. That means my muscle in that area has strengthened enough to carry my weight. That is huge.

* I still don't run very fast, or as fast as I used to try and run. I am not floating. I don't feel like I am flying. Usually.

* I still do a combination of walking and slow running. I work on reducing my walking time and extending my running time.

* I can finally run over 60 seconds.

* I am finally at the point where I stop running and start walking because I am out of breath, not due to pain.

* I do spend a few minutes of my time running at my regular pace, and then I do feel like I am floating, or flying, but I am also usually wheezing and trying to breathe.

* I stop running now because my back hurts after a while. I don't have any real core strength, and I am overweight with big heavy bones. So all that combined makes my back ache after a while.

* When I was at my mother's wedding, I danced the Electric Slide with my cousins, and I did not have to stop and sit down before the song ended.

But the biggest thing is I AM STILL DOING IT. Last week I ran in the pouring rain and got soaked. Yesterday I ran in 25 degrees, and when I started out I was freeeeeeezing. I did it anyway.

It's January 3rd. Everywhere I look are ads and articles and people talking about the same thing -- getting in shape. Getting off the sofa. Losing weight. Doing better. Feeling better. Making resolutions.

I don't have to make any resolutions. I don't have to say, in 2010 I was a lazy sluggard and 2011 will be different!!!! I am going to get off the computer, get off the couch, watch less TV, get outside more, improve my health, blah blah blah.

I went running on Dec 31. I went running on Jan 2. I hope to go running again later this week. I am not "in shape" but I am in better shape than I was several months ago. I can feel the change, I can track it. I write these posts (here and I have another, more private blog) so I can reflect and see the changes over time.

Why do I run? Especially considering all the hassle. It has definitely NOT been "easy."

That's next.

Time to Embrace My Privilege

2011-01-02T17:08:00.002-06:00

In other words, I went running today.

Three months ago I would never have forseen that I would be outside, running, in 25 degree weather.

Was it cold? Oh hell yeah.

Three months ago I would never have forseen that I would willingly be outside in pouring rain, running in some park, as I did last week.

Did I get soaked? Oh hell yeah.

Last week we had a couple of days of almost spring-like weather. It was in the 50s, and felt actually balmy after weeks of bitter cold and snow. I had not been running in over a month. Late November into December were blur of wedding planning, finals, graduation planning, and the holidays. Usually I would need to get some exercise to deal with the stress, but we had snow and ice, so I was cooped up inside most of that time.

So even though it was pouring rain last week, it was also 50 degrees. I put on my gear and a rain jacket with a hood, drove to some small park, warmed up, and did two circuits of the park before I gave up.

My shins are no longer really a problem. Now my back is the problem. I am not a thin or small woman and I have no core strength. After I've run/walked for bit, my back starts to ache badly and that's when I stop.

Back in September I was hoping by this point I would be so used to running that I would prefer running on a treadmill inside to laying about, and keep it going all winter. I have a treadmill in the house. So far that has not happened. I really want to be outside. I need fresh air (even if it's cold) and sun (if I can get it). As long as there was snow and ice I would not attempt it (I slipped and fell on some ice 3 years ago and broke my wrist), but the thaw dissolved all the snow.

Am I unhappy about this? Disappointed in myself? Ready to throw in the towel?

OH HELL NO.

In fact, the last two times I have gone running have just inspired me. They told me that the autumn running was not an aberration, a brief whimsy just like all the other times I have tried to take up the sport. These brief runs have reinforced for me that I am going to keep on doing this. Even though I have not lost weight. Even though I am a chubby middle aged woman doing the Hobbit Shuffle, panting and wheezing, and not a fleet gazelle with long legs that eat up the miles. Even though I don't look like a runner.

Running is a Privilege

2010-11-30T20:00:00.006-06:00

Wow.

This blog post really affected me.

It is what I have always "known," but could not say it so effectively.

EXERCISE, in general, is a privilege.Being able to be thin or fit or lithe, because you can go to the gym, and because you can afford to buy and prepare healthful foods, is a privilege.

It is a sign of privilege.

Going to Target with your kids wearing your expensive running shoes, and clothes you bought just for running, is a sign of privilege.

And this really affects me, because I am frequently seeing - especially on the internet, especially in women's communities - a lot of judgment about being "fat." That losing weight is as simple as putting down the cheeseburger and moving your lazy ass. Because the only thing involved is willpower.

It's a form of classism and snobbish elitism that is hidden behind the more PC concern of "being healthy/unhealthy."

One of the things that really inspired me to try and start running again was reading a series of blog posts by a somewhat well known scrapbooker (you probably know who I'm talking about) who, this year, joined Weight Watchers, started running, got in shape, lost weight, and looks fantastic. She has been very honest about her struggles, and very specific about the tools and processes she has used to get to where she is. I think she has been fantastic and I have appreciated all she has shared.

But.

When I looked at all her running and weight loss posts all in a row, what struck me was how very, very expensive this simple hobby of running and this weight loss journey is in her world.

She has a treadmill that sits in a spare room of her house.

She has a spare room available just for exercising. She does not have family members crowding into her home because they are going through foreclosure, and taking up the extra space.

She did not agonize (as I did) over the cost of buying the right shoes. She bought the shoes she needed.

She bought workout clothes. Her tank tops alone were something like $68. Each.

She has a washer and dryer in her home so she can wash these clothes as often as needed. She owns the washer and dryer, and as the Mom also probably has first access to the machines, and doesn't have to wait until others are done.

She has an ipod.

And a special ipod holder for when she runs.

And earbuds. (Mine were stolen and I had to buy the special iPhone earbuds with a microphone to use when driving the car -- $80.00. So this is not insignificant.)

And digital music on her computer, for making custom playlists to motivate her.

She has a really, really expensive computer.

She pays for Weight Watchers online and doesn't go to meetings. She has a good scale.

She can afford (obviously) an internet connection in her home. She does not rely upon the public library for access.

Her children are old enough to not need her constant attention, or a sitter.

She lives in a nice enough neighborhood that simply stepping out her door and running in her neighborhood is an option.

And on and on and on.

Despite all of this, she still struggles. But the only thing she struggles with is HERSELF.

She doesn't struggle because she doesn't have the shoes. She doesn't struggle because her neighborhood is so bad she doesn't dare run down her sidewalk. She doesn't struggle because her children are so young and demanding she can't leave them for an hour a day. She doesn't struggle because she works on her feet at the drive through, or even in an office a 45 minute commute away, and has to find the time and energy to run and grocery shop and plan her eating around everything else.

I think about this a lot these days because I am in library school, because I am interested in the digital divide.

The digital divide is associated with, and leads to, a lack of economic opportunity and a sense of certain individuals or communities being “left behind” without the skills needed to succeed (Cleary et al. 2006).

Did you know that there are minority populations in this country that have higher rates of mortality specifically because they don't have access to computers and the internet, and even if they did, they don't know how to use them effectively?

According to a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report, “life expectancy and overall health have improved in recent years for a large number of Americans, due to an increased focus on preventative medicine and dynamic new advances in medical technology. However, not all Americans are benefiting equally” (HHS 2004).

People in these populations who get cancer, or even chronic diseases like diabetes, have higher mortality rates because they do not know how to get on the internet and research their diseases and see what their treatment options are. They have treatment options they do not know about, because of the digital divide.

“The digital divide has been identified as a special problem in health care that can lead to significant disparities in care” (Kreps 2005).

“Many of the people who are most at risk of poor health outcomes from … serious health problems are members of underserved populations, populations that are generally made up of individuals who are of low socioeconomic status, possess low levels of health literacy, … are members of marginalized ethnic and minority groups …” (Kreps 2005).

Health literacy is becoming a civil rights issue in this country. It's not even about who has health insurance and who has money to pay for treatment. It's about basic access to information and resources.

“Many studies show that certain minority groups and low-income, low-education populations in the United States suffer from a disproportionate cancer burden and have limited access to electronic information about health” (Kreps 2005). Health information guides strategic behaviors including treatment options, decisions, and plans. Without access to health information, “these same vulnerable populations are also subject to serious disparities in health care and generally have much higher rates of morbidity and mortality due to serious health threats, especially from cancers, than the rest of the public” (Kreps 2005).

I just wrote a grant application for an IMLS National Leadership Grant in health literacy. And as I read that blog post, I thought about this woman I have used as an example (who I am not linking to, because she is a really nice person, and I don't need her thinking I am pointing some finger at her), who was able to go online, from home, and use the internet to research her options, to get support, to find out what she had to do, and to even shop for her shoes, clothes, digital music, and equipment.

One of the reasons I wrote my lost post about running was to explain in detail the process I have gone through, trying to run because I love it, and yet having these issues related to money and access.

When I started out, I lived in a deadly dull but very safe suburban housing development. Then I moved back to Chicago. I live in such a bad neighborhood I would not dare walk out the door and go running or even walk down the street. I drive to the suburbs to run. This means I can only run on days I have time to do that.

I struggled to try and run wearing my cheap $35.00 Reeboks, and failed. I tried and tried. It was not possible. I then had to make a hard decision as to whether I would invest a large (to me) sum of money to this healthful practice.

I made a series of cheap clothing purchases and mix those with old stuff I already owned.

I struggle with not being able to throw my few clothing items into the washer whenever I need to. I have had days when I could have gone running and I didn't because I had no time to do the laundry and hand washing was no longer enough.

I have an old model iPhone I bought because I am in library school and technologically, I was falling behind my younger classmates. The profession is extremely competitive and I didn't even know what a WorldCat app was. Because I was already a Mac user, I already had an iTunes account, so I can buy the occasional $1.00 song.

I bought a laptop in March, and without it, this would have been much harder. The laptop is an older Mac I bought for $450.00 off Craigslist. I was able to do this because I worked in graphics and publishing for 13 years. I knew what I needed and what would work and how much it should cost. Someone without that knowledge does not have the option of doing research and waiting for the right deal.

My original earbuds were stolen and they wouldn't stay in my ears anyway. I spent 3 months doing research online to see what other options there were and how much they were. I made purchases on ebay. I bought ear adapters to try and make them fit. It was only after 3 ebay purchases and I still didn't have earbuds that would stay in and a mike that worked that I went to a retail store and looked at new options. Even then I waited for a 50% off sale. Without the earbuds I would have a very very hard time, because the standard size earbuds would never stay in my ears while running or warming up. The frustration would be a huge barrier to trying to run.

I am just saying -- there is more to setting up an exercise program and getting in shape than just "get off the couch" and "stop eating fast food."

Yet we have this myth in our society that this is all there is to it. The only thing holding you back is YOU and how lazy, sad, pathetic and weak willed you are. That if you really wanted it, you would be "healthy" (meaning, smaller than you are right now). There is a sense of moral superiority underlying some of the commentary I've seen and heard. If you are a woman, you've heard it too.

Even though I am struggling right now due to being in school and trying to transition to a new career, the education I have and the knowledge I have puts me in the privilege category. Except I don't have the ability right now to engage in the privileged behavior of my peers.

I just get to look at it.

This is me. This is me at my mother's wedding this past weekend. This is me after three months of running. Not every day, but regularly. Running enough so that I was able to dance with my aunt and cousins and sisters and not have to stop midway through a song out of breath.

Do I look "thin" to you? Do I look "slim"? "Lithe"? "In shape"?

Do I look like a runner to you? Is this what a woman who runs looks like? Does this fit your mental image?

It doesn't fit mine.

-----------

Cleary, Paul, Glenn Pierce, and Eileen Trauth. "Closing the digital divide: understanding racial, ethnic, social class, gender and geographic disparities in Internet use among school age children in the United States." Universal Access in the Information Society 4.4 (2006): 354-373.

Department of Health and Human Services. “Eliminating Minority Health Disparities.” HHS Fact Sheet. July 12, 2004. Cited in Lorence et al., “Digital Divide,” 2006.

Kreps, Gary L. "Disseminating Relevant Health Information to Underserved Audiences: Implications of the Digital Divide Pilot Projects." Journal of the Medical Library Association 93.(2005): 68-73.

Lorence, Daniel P. and Heeyoung Park. "Measuring Dissimilarity in Online Health Search Activities." Technology & Health Care 14.2 (2006): 79-89.

Photo 1: Random lithe women running. Always on a beach -- talk about privilege. Source unknown.

Photo 2: Photo of me. Chicago, IL. 19 Nov 2010.

Almost Wedding Time!

2010-11-22T21:38:00.005-06:00

So... my mother is getting married on Saturday. She and her fiance have been together, and engaged, for over 10 years.

She didn't want to plan any kind of wedding. She wanted to go to Vegas and get married in a chapel there. However, his children protested, so she has put together a party for this Saturday. She chose the date based on when my sister (who lives in Kansas) could come up, with her baby. She did not want to get married without all her children there.. and it would not have been the same if one of us was missing.

Since we are having the family event on Saturday I have no plans for Thanksgiving at all. I have finals due and I am so behind. I plan to hopefully come to campus and find a quiet place to dig in for this last big push.

I really love the outfit I bought for the wedding, and I am looking forward to some great photos of my entire family. The girls are all just wearing black or dark dresses. I went all out -- a LB cocktail dress. Ever woman needs a LBD and mine is verah verah FAHN-say.

I won't put a picture of it up here but here are the shoes I bought to match...

{peep toes!}

I would not wear the shoes pictured in my user icon for the wedding, even if I could... I would trip and fall on my face for sure! They were great for the photo shoot, but a walk down an aisle and an evening of dancing and running around to say hi to all my family calls for a little more stability. But these shoes are very similar, black with a peep toe. I really wanted some platforms but the poofy ribbon flower on these heels match the black ribbon roses at the neckline of my dress.

I don't know why I seem to be focused on shoes so much in this blog. Strange. First the running shoes and now these shoes. In looking at my photo archive, I seem to take a lot pictures of myself walking in various shoes.

It's not about the shoes, it's about my feet on the journey and where they will take me.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Running

2010-11-09T23:19:00.005-06:00

So... I am still running. I KNOW. I am amazed.

When I read this post, I am amazed. Amazed because 1) I don't have shin splints any more, and 2) I am still running.

For a while it appeared that I would always have pain. That there was something wrong (?) with me. I have taken up running now and again several times over the past years. I always loved it and I could never do it for more than a week or two. And I don't know any runners in person I could ask about the pain, nor could I get any advice that applied to me and my situation, that would push me to make running a regular habit.

I have had more than one person ask me how in the world I got from where I was, doing nothing, to where I am now. Where I am only doing something. I feel the need for some transparency here -- I am not a workout queen. I have not lost any weight that I have noticed, but I don't weigh myself. I still do the Hobbit Shuffle, but I am trying to transition into a longer stride. I don't do this every day or even several times a week. I do it when I can, when I want to, when I feel like it. I still feel like it. The more I do it, the more I want to do it.

And when I say "running" it is a shorthand for an entire experience of stretching, exercising in place, walking, walking mixed with jogging, walking mixed with brief periods of actual running that I strive to make longer and longer, more walking, more stretching, and collapsing in my car with a giant water bottle.

There is a lot of information online, but I have learned that while information online might be helpful to some people, it does not work for me. So I had a lot of experimenting, and a lot of pain, both physical and mental, as I got to this point.

Here is where I am now. Here is what I am doing now. In the spring I may do none of this, or I may be doing more, and I may be amazed even more. This information may help you too. I was very motivated and inspired by several out of shape and overweight scrapbookers who made this change, and I found it super helpful to read the specifics of their own practice.

If you are a person for whom fitness and exercise comes naturally, you may not understand this... but telling people who don't exercise to just "exercise" or "move more" really does not help. I remember all the years when I did not cook, because I really could not do it. Everyone said, impatiently, that if I could read a recipe then I could cook. Oh well, guess what I know now, now that I am a cook -- cooking also requires things like knowing what kind of recipe you can make, making a trip to the grocery store, knowing how to choose an avocado, having basic equipment, knowing how to brown chicken or how to chop an onion. No, we are not BORN knowing any of this. We have to learn it.

Here are some things I have learned that work for me. This is a combination of basic information about very beginning running combined with my own habits that support my practice.

1. You need EQUIPMENT.

Everyone said this, and it was one of the things I didn't want to hear. And I have heard it from other people I talk to about it now. One of the appeals of running is that it's "cheap and easy." You put on a pair of shoes, you go outside, and we all know how to run, right? Just do that. Can't you just put on the shoes you might have? Just go?

For you, maybe, for me, NO. I really struggled with the idea of paying over $100 for a pair of running shoes. I had a pair of Reeboks, certainly not a cheapo brand. I bought them to go running. I used them several times, I loved running, and I had to stop because the pain would not lessen or go away.

Shoes

The shoes are something you cannot really skimp on. Last week I put on my old Reeboks just to walk around and the difference was immense, now that I am used to the new Asics. Even walking in the Reeboks felt like walking on concrete. The soles were very hard. Walking in the Asics feels like walking on a cloud. There is a lot of "bounce" there. It's a very springy feel. Additionally, feet swell when you run so running shoes should be big enough that you can fit the top of your thumb between your toes and the toe of the shoe. I bought the Reeboks to fit me exactly and now they feel way too tight.

I am lucky to live in a large metro area where I could make a trip to a running store. I had my feet and my walk assessed. I was professionally measured, both feet. I have high arches, which is unusual, and a wide toe box. Most running shoes, especially cheaper ones (under $80) are made for people who need a lot of arch support. Since I have high arches, that extra support was forcing my feet to curl outward, which makes shin splints worse. This is the kind of thing you find out from professionals.

I tried on several pairs and ran a bit in all of them, in the store. If you don't have that option, I am not sure how to overcome it. For someone else, buying online might work out ok. I needed to try them all on. I also ran a bit so they could assess my form and tell me if I was doing anything that was causing the pain. I was not.

Now here is the thing about the shoes that is relevant for me specifically.

I don't wear these shoes for anything but running. I don't wear them to the grocery store or to school or for hanging out. They are in the box, the box is on my dresser, where I can see it. The COST of the shoes is highly MOTIVATING for me. Honestly if I had NOT purchased these shoes I probably would have given up entirely. Instead, it weighs on me that I made this investment. I don't want to waste my money.

In my head I do a cost-per-use tally. So if I run in these shoes twice that is $xx for each run. whoooo, pricey! I figure once I have run 20 times then the cost-per-use is low enough that I have gotten my money's worth. That is motivating to me.

So the idea that I have this special piece of equipment that I take out purposefully and use for it's intended use, is very motivating for me. I find then, that I put on the shoes, that means I am going out for a run. I might do something else too, after (run an errand on the way home), but in my head I am thinking "Gotta run, gotta run." I don't put them on unless I have time to run, and unless I am also wearing running clothes. I think twice I have ended up not running, for different reasons. But mainly, putting them on puts me in that mind set. That is important to me.

1.B. Other Equipment

There's other stuff you may or may not buy as well. Running, like any other hobby or endeavor, has a whole lotta "stuff" that can come along with it.

* Sport bra - I didn't own one so I bought one for $12 at WalMart. I also only wear this when I put on the shoes. I could buy another, but again, having the ONE thing that is special and set aside is somehow motivating. I hand wash this when I take it off.

* Workout pants - I already owned 2 pairs and I have since gotten 2 more for free. I wear these all the time so I didn't buy more. I wear them whenever.

* Running tops -- I bought one Danskin tank at WalMart for a WHOLE DOLLAR, and I wore that when it was warm. I love this tank. But I only wear it for running. If it got chilly I put another T-shirt on over it. I only put this on for running.

Now that it is much colder I bought a long sleeved Danskin tee at WalMart for a whole $8. I can layer this over the tank. I can run in any T-shirt but I like the material and cut of both these Danskin tops. Again I hand wash them when I come home.

* Running socks -- I bought one pair of these at the running store, for $9. Expensive but worth it. They are super thin and made of a material that wicks sweat away. Unlike cotton socks they do not get hot, they do not rub and cause blisters. I only wear these with the shoes and only to go running. I hand wash them.

If I do laundry I do throw all these things in there and give them a good wash, but I hand wash when I come home because I go running far more often than I do laundry. YMMV.

* Dorky fanny pack -- There are all kinds of cool things you can buy to hold whatever your music source is (more on music next) but I spent $6.99 on a small fanny pack at WalMart, found in Sporting goods. I LOVE this freaking thing. I wish they were in style, or cuter. It holds my car keys, lip balm, phone, etc.

* Windbreaker -- This is a very new addition because it's recently been too cold to go running just in a couple T-shirts. I probably should also keep it just for running but I just like it too much (wearing it now). It's a very lightweight zipper windbreaker I just bought at Old Navy, in the men's department. I had looked around for a women's jacket but they were all too small, too tight, too heavy, too expensive. Old Navy outerwear is 50% off right now, so this was a huge $15.

Other equipment I use -- my iPhone, my iTunes, Skull Candy earbuds, sunglasses, water bottle.

2. I use my PHONE.

I use my phone in two ways -- for music and for timing.

Music

I think a lot of people listen to music when they run. Some people prefer the silence, but I use music. Everyone has a different way of using music, so I'll share mine.

I own an iPod and I rarely if ever use it. I did use it at the gym but... it bugged me. Some people really enjoy the process of hooking it up to the computer, making playlists, switching things around. I really hate it. What a pain.

I bought an iPhone last summer and it is a huge part of my running. Because I don't like messing with my iPod, iPhone, and Mac, there is different music on everything. If you listen to your iPod music in the car or in the house, this will not work for you.

Me, however, I find myself downloading songs onto my phone when I hear them and love them. These are not always "new" songs. Sometimes they are new -- like Hot Tottie by Jay-Z and Usher. Sometimes they are old songs I have not heard in forever -- like Fight the Power by Public Enemy. Sometimes they come on the radio as I am driving around looking for a park to run in. Sometimes I hear them featured on a TV show -- Glee, Vampire Diaries, So You Think You Can Dance -- then I look them up on iTunes and buy them.

So basically my phone has all the most recent songs I have wanted to own and listen to, and since I hate hooking up my phone to my computer, I rarely get to hear said songs any other time. As I am driving around to go to a park to run, I think about music. I usually stop and buy a song, a single song that is in my head. It is usually a fast song. Then when I am ready to run, I listen to that song. Yes just the one. To buy it, I must really like it. I want to listen to it over and over. I don't get bored because I really enjoy the song.

I'm going to talk some about stretching and warming up later, but for now I'll say during the warm up time I don't listen to the new song(s). That is the time I listen to the slower songs on my phone that I love and never hear.

None of this is hard and fast. I've just noticed that if there is a new, fast song on the radio or a song I loved back in the day that I can download and have to listen to, I really like that and I enjoy the running time. Sometimes I listen to the last 2-3 songs I bought, sometimes just the most recent, sometimes I don't buy a new song at all. The fact that I can't or don't really get to listen to these songs any other time contributes to my enjoyment.

Time

My iPhone also has a stopwatch and timer feature. I use this quite a lot. Some people like to create playlists with songs of a certain time but that does not work for me. So I will set the timer on the phone for a length of time. I will walk or run for that length of time. There's probably an easier way to do this but I just find being able to hold up the phone and see that I have 10 seconds of a sprint left helps me keep going. I also keep track mentally of how many times I have done a 2 minute, 1 minute, etc cycle.

What really helped me with the shin splints was shortening my running time to 30 seconds. I hated to do it, but it worked great. I could run or jog for 30 seconds, no problem. I would set my timer for 2 minutes, walk for 1:30, and when it got to 30 left, I would start to run. this helped me build up to longer times without pain.

So the phone is a big help to me. I know there are also running apps and I may look into them in the future. There is also a Nike+ gadget that I'd like to get, so I could use my phone and computer to track my progress. But I don't need it yet.

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There are lots of other things involved here as well and I will get to them eventually, but I think this is long enough for now.

I'll finish by saying more explicitly something I've mentioned in passing more than once. For me, the process of suiting up is very important. It sets aside the time from the rest of my life. Kind of like when I wanted to scrapbook, i didn't just sit down and jump in. I always spent some time browsing ideas, tidying up my desk, looking through supplies. I had to get myself in that mental space.

The mental space is super important to me. When actors are trying to get into a character, they put on the wardrobe, they change their walk, they get hair and make up done. It helps make the transition.

For me, I have special things I wear only when running (shoes, socks, bra, tank, fanny pack). These are mixed with some items from my daily life (workout pants, phone, headband, sunglasses). At home I go through a process of getting dressed. This tells me mentally that I am going to be running sometime that day. I used to then just walk outside and go do it, but I've moved to a bad neighborhood so now I have to drive somewhere to run.

Thus I have a 2-3 stage process --

First getting dressed at home.

Then getting in the car and driving while thinking of where I will go (I like going to different pretty areas, and I also liked just walking out my front door and going around the block 10 times).

I "suit up" even more at the moment when I get out of the car. I switch jackets or take off my extra T-shirt or whatnot. I get out the phone and my earbuds. I hook myself all up. I put on the waist pack and put my keys and other items into it. I lock up the car. I put on a headband, my sunglasses, and my ear buds.

For some reason having both sunglasses and earbuds on is really important to me because it creates a feeling of being alone in my own bubble, though I am outside in public. I tune out any internal voices that might discourage me from running, have me worry about what I look like, who else is around, and any judgement I might project.

I'll talk more about the actual running process at some future time, and also what I did about the shin splints. But maybe some random internet person will find these thoughts helpful.

happy birthday to me.

2010-10-14T22:17:00.007-05:00

It's been a pretty good one, although not much exciting has happened on the day itself. I muse how technology has changed our lives... I received one actual birthday card, but found over 40 Facebook posts on my Wall! Including from friends from college, many of whom I have not seen since then...

No flowers this year but my mum made dinner (she's a fantastic cook) and we had cake, with candles and singing and the whole she-bang.

Then I had to go to class, boo. And it is on metadata, boo. But my professor emailed us last night she was giving us another week on the project that was due today so, hooray! This class is k i l l i n g me. I celebrated by blowing off all my homework and laying in bed and reading a good book.

Lest it appear my life has NO fun at all, this weekend I have dinner out Saturday night and Sundayyyy... we have plans to go on a haunted cemetary tour with costumed interpreters! wheeee!

Last weekend I went to the Sara Evans concert. And the weekend before that, I went to see Cabaret downtown.

So going to class instead of out to party on a Thursday night is my attempt to be a responsible adult. I'm applying for jobs all across the country, and of course, the North Carolina digital libraries fellowship *crosses fingers*. So I wonder where I'll be on my next birthday. Not here, I think.

===============

Photo 1: Flowers from Mom on my 19th birthday. Beloit College. Beloit, WI. 14 Oct 1987.

Photo 2: Sara Evans in concert. Performing Arts Center, Dominican University. River Forest, IL. Taken by me. Oct 2010.

Here, Life Is Beautiful!

2010-10-04T20:42:00.005-05:00

Well the most stressful part of my fall has passed and I survived (barely). I'm trying to settle in to my new situation and adjust, keep up with my homework, and of course look for a job to replace the one I have now. I had an interview a couple of days ago, but I am pretty sure I have no shot at that job. I will be beyond shocked if they offer it to me.

Friday night I went to see a production of Cabaret with my friend Amelia. I saw this play many years ago at the Shubert when it starred Teri Hatcher, and I also have the soundtrack to the version starring the late Natasha Richardson. This was a student production at the DePaul Theater School, and it was very good. Lots of talent in the cast, amazing voices.

As we were leaving the theater my eye was caught by a beautiful sight, and I wish my camera had been up to the task of documenting it.

{contrast}

I had to lighten this shot significantly in PhotoShop to get both buildings. I just loved the juxtaposition of the Sears Tower (I am NOT calling it the Willis Tower) and it's purple neon crown with the cruddy neon-rific liquor store across the street.

I love this town.

While I was getting the shot, crowds were still at the theater door half a block down, students and parents and theater goers all talking and laughing and socializing in the beautiful city night. A lanky young man in a plaid shirt and baggy khakis walked past us alone, looking down, with his shoulders hunched and his hands in his pockets.

Amelia called out to him: "CONGRATULATIONS!"

He glanced up briefly and said "Thanks!" then looked back down at his feet and kept going.

Oh gosh! He had played the MC!

{Alan Cummings in the role}

I had not recognized him with his clothes on!

I called after him: "Oh Congrats!!! YOU WERE SO GREAT!!!"

He sort of waved a little back at us and kept walking. He turned the corner and strode off alone into the night.

I hope he is famous someday.

running + beautiful days

2010-09-19T21:02:00.002-05:00

It's one of the most beautiful times of the year here. I want to enjoy it but I am pretty stressed right now.

Last Friday I went to a specialty store and bought a new pair of running shoes. I had a pair of Reeboks but they were not working for me. The shin splints are killing me. I keep trying to go outside and run. Or to be honest, job. Even a little. So far I have had little luck and I end up hobbling home, cursing.

I have been doing some reading so I am going to try some strengthening exercises for my shins and ankles, and I am going to change my stride a bit. I want to be gazelle-like, I'll admit it. Gazelle! Not hobbit! But if the hobbit shuffle will work then I'll try that for a while.

I feel so good when I run. Or, shuffle. Except for the hobbling home in pain. And I'm not doing "too much", I swear I am not. The pain started last time and all I was doing was walking fast.

I am also going to try running on the lawns more and sidewalks less.

I am trying to get a book called ChiRunning, that is supposed to have some good information in it. It was checked out of the library today. After buying the shoes I am not buying the book too.

Walking just doesn't help me with the stress the way running does. Even if it is only a slow jog for 3 minutes out of a 20 minute walk, I need it. For those 3 minutes, my brain turns off, all I can feel is my heart beating and my breath. For the rest of the day I feel like I can handle the world.

Stupid shins, not cooperating.

Last semester of graduate school. I am stressed. I keep saying that. Last night I realized there is NO WAY I can keep up with one of my classes. Just... no way. There isn't enough time in the week even if that class was all I did, which it cannot be. Of course I worried about this class and this professor all summer because everyone knows it's really impossible to do everything expected in one of her classes. I wondered if i could handle it.

Now I know the truth! I cannot! What to do about this, I don't know. Last night I read just one reading, and it was 88 pages long. I am 10 readings behind. And I have to catch up because I have to write about all the readings to pass the class.

Why did I want to learn metadata again? Why? I forget but at one point it seemed important.

Enough stalling.

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Photo 1: My new running shoes. Dominican University. River Forest, IL. Taken by me. Fall 2010.

Photo 2: Lewis Hall ivy. Dominican University. River Forest, IL. Taken by me. Fall 2010.

hello, september

2010-09-07T17:30:00.003-05:00

Today I sat outside on campus and watched the clouds scroll by in a blue, blue sky. An American flag waved and snapped in a cool breeze.

Yesterday I saw a tree with a few red tipped leaves. (That is REALLY early for here.) It was so achingly beautiful I almost cried.

This summer was possibly the worst, the hardest of my life. Everything from the weather to the household to school to money was awful in a way I usually describe with words beginning with the letter F. I'll spare you my potty mouth, Internetz.

I had thought many times about putting up one of those fun summer photo posts just like I saw on so many blogs. Photos I took of playing kickball with friends, going to the local carnival, enjoying outdoor barbecues, camping, swimming, funnel cakes. I have them. Celebrating the good things that happened this summer.

However, my capacity to be fake on the internet is just not as developed as perhaps it could be. There is being positive, and then there is plain lying. I don't want to share all my biznizz on a public blog; neither do I care to pretend my life is all so fabulous. Hey that's what Facebook is for.

This fall is not going to be any easier. In many ways it will be far more difficult than the summer. But that's ok. I am confident I will cope.

I am in my last semester of graduate school. I have moved from mid 700s classes, which I could do easily, to classes in the 890s. PhD level. They are hard classes, very challenging. I am working with the student association. I am now a committee chair. We have a lot to do and I am not sure how to do most of it, especially with just a few people. I am completely revamping the structure of the technology workshops we offer to students. I am interested in library instruction so this process is really helping me develop professionally. Of course I barely know what I am doing, but I have been figuring it out.

Everyday, it seems, something comes up that just reveals to me how surreal my life has become. I remember when I saw acronyms in articles, in job ads, on blogs, and it was like trying to decipher a foreign language. Now I read them and I understand. The other day I read a sarcastic entry on library instruction on a blog; I laughed so hard at something I would have barely understood just a few months ago. I frequently comment that I know it's time to graduate when I know most of the people I see at this school on a daily basis. Remember when you were a freshman in high school, you walked down the hall in a blur of strangers, lost in the wilderness? And remember when you were a senior, and you could not go 5 steps without saying hi to someone you knew. Then you knew it was time to move on. It's like that.

I am moving again in the next few weeks. I have been throwing away more stuff, taking more trips to Goodwill, consolidating what is left.

As I take on knowledge, I shed more and more in the physical sense. I lose more and more of what I had and who I was.

Surreal.

I wonder if someday I will scrapbook again. It feels like a part of an old life I am no longer living. I sometimes look at old scrapbook pages and it feels like I am reading the diary of a woman who died long ago.

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Photo 1: Where I was sitting. Dominican University. River Forest, IL. Take by me. Spring 2009.

Photo 2: Lewis Hall. Dominican University. River Forest, IL. Taken by me. Fall 2010.

A Moment of Grace, and Butter in a Cunning Disguise

2010-06-30T18:48:00.007-05:00

I've been going through a pretty hard time in my personal life lately ... several weeks ago it got even worse (if that is possible!). Yesterday I had a moment of grace, from a really unexpected area. Have you ever had that happen to you?

I have several birthdays and events coming up to cook for. Yesterday my friend and I went shopping for groceries at Valli International Market, which is one of my favorite places to shop. That place is like crack. I just want to wander up and down the aisles and look at foreign packaging and buy foods from Bulgaria and Pakistan and Korea and look at things like cacti leaves and ask people buying them what in the world they are making.

In the midst of my shopping trip, I went to the dairy section to buy some butter for cookies. A store worker pointed the case out to me. I looked over my shoulder at the butter case and there was a giant display of this:

I wish I had taken a picture of the display for a blog post, but I didn't think of it at the time.

I felt like I'd been struck by lightning. I started cracking up, right there in the grocery store. People thought I was crazy, I'm sure, some sweaty (it's really hot right now) middle aged woman in yoga pants and Sketchers standing in the dairy aisle just laughing like a loon for no apparent reason.

There were tubs and tubs, all different kinds. Who knew there were so many varieties of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"? I wanted to buy one of each kind! And then I saw the generic versions and I laughed even harder. (If you know why this was so funny to me, I salute you! The post title is a clue.) Oh I wanted to buy them, so so badly. Just so every time I open the refrigerator, I can laugh and laugh.

I finally just picked up one of the regular tubs and put it into my cart. Then I had another moment of grace, because I was shopping with a friend, not by myself. I went zooming over the store, looking for my friend. She was rifling through her coupons when I found her. I pulled my cart up to hers and I held up the tub. I was trying not to giggle but I couldn't help it, every time I looked at the label I started to laugh. She just gave me a WTF look.

And then while I held up the tub to her, I said something very similar to (but I messed it up a little) the very ending of THIS:

I did the English accent and everything.

And good for her because she actually laughed.

I really wanted to buy that little tub. But I didn't. I bought the real butter instead. Even though what was in the tub might have actually been butter.

Butter in a cunning disguise.

LISSA bulletin board: before + after

2010-05-30T12:40:00.010-05:00

I am a board member of LISSA, our student chapter of the American Library Association at my school. This semester I volunteered to take point on revising our group bulletin board. The previous bulletin board was fine, by the way. it looked like this:

The most important thing to change was the list of Board Members and officers along the bottom. I could have just done that and it would have been enough. The emphasis on this display was on how to get in touch with us online, how to find out information via our blog, our Facebook, our Twitter or via email. The center of the board was usually kept empty for hanging event flyers of upcoming events.

Stylistically, this board went along with the other 2 bulletin boards on that wall, which graduate students look at regularly. Right next to our bulletin board is a board for posting job opening and internships. Students look there frequently. On the other side is a board where faculty articles and publications are posted. This board is also the main passage between the graduate school office and the neighboring building. So students do walk past here. But since the LISSA board stylistically matched the other 2 boards, no one really noticed it any more.

Here's how I changed it. Now it looks different from the other boards and gives a pop of color in the hall. I worked with another Board member to come up with ideas for what to include and how to arrange it, but the design was mine.

For me, the big thing is that students don't know what LISSA is or all that we do. In a class last semester, 4 groups had to present on strengths and weaknesses of our grad program. Every group but mine included criticisms of LISSA in their presentation, mostly about not knowing what LISSA is or does except for monthly pizza parties and weekly bar nights we host as social events. However, we also plan and offer educational events like behind the scenes tours of interesting area libraries (this summer it is the Chicago Botanic Garden Research Library), career days, mentoring opportunities, workshops on how to fulfill the grad school's technology competency requirements, book clubs for Graphic Novels and YA Lit, and various other one shot events like my National Library Week Speaker from April, and now we are doing New Student Workshops in the first 2 weeks of classes to tell new grad students about things at school that we all wish we'd known when we started.

Basically, we do a lot, we offer a lot. Being on the Board itself offers professional development and leadership opportunities, and any grad student is welcome to join. We spend a lot of effort trying to get students to look at our online accounts to find out what is going on. The grad school sends out global emails to the student body notifying them of events and opportunities.

So most important to me was to have a place where all the things we do, at least for the semester, are laid out, so everything is there all in one spot. I worked with another board member to come up with the the WHO, WHAT WHEN, HOW approach and what should go where, and we sketched out some ideas.

I then measured the board itself and created a document that size in InDesign. There I was able to work with spacing, create custom colors, and choose fonts. My initial colors were celery green (spring), royal blue (crisp for summer) and a sort of orangey red (fall). I then worked out how many pieces of paper in each color I'd need, and I created a PDF file of all the text elements that could be printed out.

The fun part was going to Archivers and shopping for paper, of course! Unfortunately they did not have the orangey-red color I wanted, not even close. I ended up with a red with a slight orange tint to it. I also decided to use some patterned paper to give the design some depth, since cardstock only looks flat to me, and I can't really Tim Holtz this sucker up.

So now the board includes names of the LISSA Board members and photos (added afterwards), a complete calendar of events all at once, space for the latest event flyers, and a section for all the ways to contact us.

I have really missed having fun with paper and fonts! Creating something like this gives me a big rush. The physical construction was surprisingly rigorous, involving getting up and down on a little table (no step stool), holding stuff over my head a lot, placing things temporarily and then moving them around a lot. Even with my sketches and measurements, I still needed to tweak it in person.

I've gotten a lot of compliments on it, and I've seen students stopping to look at it, so I call this a success!

============

Photo 1: DU LISSA bulletin board, before. Dominican University, Graduate School of Library and Information Sciences. River Forest, IL. Taken by me. May 2010.

Photo 2: DU LISSA bulletin board, after. Dominican University GSLIS. River Forest, IL. Taken by me. May 2010.

Photo 3: GSLIS bulletin boards. Lewis Link, Dominican University GSLIS. River Forest, IL. Taken by me. May 2010.

more cookies in the library.

2010-05-27T23:28:00.004-05:00

I thought I would have some downtime after finals, but thanks to a condensed Summer Session class, an all summer class with a ton more work than I am used to, a new volunteer job in the archives to learn CONTENTdm, working, and everything else, I have less time and energy than I did during finals.

Anyway, I think if we had cookies in the library, more people might appreciate librarians more.

tired graduate student.

2010-05-05T17:47:00.006-05:00

We have had finals last week and this week. I have one last project due tomorrow and I have to present it. It is not quite done but I feel good about what I have finished so far. I have had a basic HTML class before but this is my first time learning and using CSS. It has been a real bear to figure it out. I understood the theory but the application to my project just never seemed to work right.

Those links on the left are supposed to be ORANGE, by the way, which is much more readable. But the visited link color is yellow and I have visited my own links. I am not sure how to fool my markup into going back to the orange color.

I won't be putting my site on the internet itself. Mainly because I shamelessly stole photos off the internet rather than shooting my own. I did use some of my own, and I wanted to shoot more photos, but since so much of my scrapbooking stuff is packed away or tucked in corners it was just not feasible. I don't even have a shelf where I could put all my albums and then shoot them in a line. Writing a whole site, then doing the design, then writing the markup by hand was all too much.

The background, by the way, is a Twitter background, and the bottom of it has these lovely orange, pink, and yellow flowers that I sampled for my colors.

It was lovely but getting rid of the flowers on most of it (on the original they go all the way across the bottom) so as to allow the text to be readable, while still preserving the gradient, took all the PhotoShop I had in me.

The site is not what I envisioned, but I am cursed with a creative mind that comes up with projects and options that the real me does not have the time, money, equipment or skill to make a reality. At some point I always have to accept my limitations.

And then I steal your photos. I am a terrible person. A terrible person seeking an A in this class and without the patience, equipment, training or give-a-damn to go out and shoot perfect photos for what is now just a 10 minute class presentation.

After Thursday after noon I will be FREE FREE FREE. And then I have class starting on Tuesday. No rest for the wicked.

====================

Photo 1: Screencap of my Library of Memories website splashpage. Created by me. May 2010.

Photo 2: Twitter background, altered in PhotoShop by me. May 2010.

national preservation week at the library of congress.

2010-04-21T14:48:00.003-05:00

If you are interested in the digital issues I previously mentioned.... and you live in the Wash DC area, you might want to check this out! If I was closer I'd definitely be going!------------Pass It On: Personal Archiving Day at the Library of Congress May 10Memories should last a lifetime and be passed on to future generations. Advice on how to safeguard precious digital and traditional photos, documents, recordings and more will be presented at Pass It On: Personal Archiving Day at the Library of Congress.

Library staff will discuss practical strategies for preserving personal collections from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Monday, May 10, in the Mumford Room on the sixth floor of the James Madison Building, 101 Independence Ave. S.E., Washington, D.C. The event is free and open to the public; no tickets or reservations are needed.

The Library's preservation experts will talk directly with individuals about managing their materials in all formats-everything from e-mail to home movies to digital photographs and recorded sound. For security reasons, visitors are asked not to bring their collection materials to the Library; no appraisals will be provided. For information about visiting the Library, go to www.loc.gov/visit/.

Pass It On: Personal Archiving Day at the Library of Congress celebrates the first national Preservation Week (May 9-15),. It is sponsored by Library of Congress, the American Library Association (ALA), the Institute for Museum and Library Services and partner organizations. This joint initiative highlights libraries and other collecting institutions as good sources of preservation information.

The Library of Congress' Personal Archiving Day is co-sponsored by the Library's Office of Strategic Initiatives and Library Services.

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Photo: Library of Congress. From a tour I took while interning in DC. Photo by Trisa (Taylor) Robarge. July 1986.

A Digital Archive for 100 Years

2010-04-18T16:22:00.005-05:00

I am redoing my resume into Librarian-Speak and thus, have been surfing around looking for alternate ways of conveying what those in Publishing-Land would understand but Librarians do not. While surfing I found a blog post where the writer talks about his idea to create a digital and paper archive of his family history, including documents, photos, and his own knowledge, in both paper and digital formats. In the post, he has numerous questions and he seeks opinions and answers.

This post really intrigued me, since it addresses a very important issue that I feel does not receive enough attention in the new craze for digital scrapbooking and photography -- digital migration.

This is a topic that has bothered me for some time, but every time I tried to write a blog post about it, it came across very negative and critical. The truth is, while I don't want to be the Angel of Gloom and Doom, I am very critical of how people in Internet Scrap-Land have pushed this issue.

For years it has bothered me to see so many of the big "names" in scrapbooking talking about and really pushing digital photography, and now digital scrapbooking. I realize it is because these particular scrapbookers treat scrapbooking as something they do now based on what they feel like doing now.

This is a wonderful attitude and I feel like I am always saying that myself. Scrapbooking is about who you are now, what is important to you now, how you see the world now. Like all art, it is a manifestation of the influences, beliefs and priorities of the artists (that's you) right now. Look back at a page you created in 2001 vs now and see how you have changed, how what is important to you has changed, since then.

However, in the comments to these blog posts and in posts I've seen around the Internet Scrap-Land, I have seen many woman talk about how they want to do something digital now for a baby, so that s/he can have these stories in 20 years. They do not seem to know (or perhaps understand) that what you do now digitally will not necessarily be accessible in 20 years. And it certainly won't if your only advice or support in this area comes from other scrapbookers, from what I have seen.

Digital scrapbookers can get very up in arms about the issue. Many of them do address these issues, as best they know how. I don't mean to suggest that every single scrapbooker who likes using digital templates is thoughtless or ignorant. And for many digital scrapbookers, they don't care much because they do embrace the now. Digital migration is not an issue for those scrapbookers.

Consider this article, which states:

In 1996, however, a special US Taskforce on Digital Archiving3 drew the world's attention to the alarming fact that owing to ongoing technological change and the rapidity with which technologies now grow obsolescent, a vast amount of digitally generated information is effectively vanishing.

And that was in 1996.

If you will continue reading the page, you will see discussion of the British Domesday Project, a digitization project carried out by professionals, over the course of several years, at a cost of $3.75 million, with the intent of creating a permanent digital archive. And was it permanent? Heck, no. Even with an investment of $3.75 million, professionals could not find a way to make this project last more that 10-15 years.

How then does the lowly scrapbooker address this issue?

This is one of the reasons I like Stacy's Library of Memories. First, Stacy consistently advocates the importance of printing out your photos. No matter what happens in technology, no matter what happens to your computer, if you print out those photos and have them in binders or in drawers, people can always access those photos, and you don't need electricity, an internet connection, or a computer to do so. This year many digital scrapbookers have pushed back against that advice, constantly refusing to accept the idea that printing out is necessary. Because they are DIGITAL ONLY, thus printing photos is irrelevant. In the face of this resistance, Stacy has stood firm. Printing out even 10% of your digital photos is a worthwhile and even necessary investment.

While Stacy advocates the printing as an important aspect of scrapbooking inspiration, there is a larger issue there, one I have seen her try to address without really having the language to do so. Stacy understands intuitively that there is a difference between analog and digital information. Analog used to only mean a type of audio file, but more recently it has been used to describe any kind of non-digital information resource. This includes photos and print resources like books. One of the big differences between the two is that digital information requires a filter or translator, and analog does not. As a human with two working eyes, I can physically pick up an analog photograph, view it, and interact with it directly. I know how to read so I may pick up any book off the shelf, open it to any page, and read it for myself with my own eyes.

However, digital information requires a mediator -- that being, the hardware or computer system and the screen, and the software used to translate the data. Humans need these intervening mediators to interact with and comprehend digital data. You need a computer, with a screen, and a piece of software to view every single digital photo you take. And you need same to interact with and view digital scrapbook pages.

The ways that humans interact with, view, and interpret analog vs digital resources is different. It is different. If you prefer one or the other, then enjoy. But the attitude in Internet Scrap-land is that these are the same essentially, with one option just being done on computer and one not. They are not equivalent. One requires a mediator and that mediating force has an effect on what the human perceives and understands.

Stacy also has always advocated creating a digital archive and a digital back up, and she distinguishes between the two. So many people who have fully immersed themselves in digital land do not seem to understand the difference and the need for both. I feel if you are going to embrace the digital thing so closely that you resist the advice to print out physical photos, that is fine, but then you also should know enough about it to know the difference between a backup and an archive, and know which one you have.

I was also very happy this year that we have had a digital-only coach in the LOM class with whom I could discuss my concerns about digital migration, someone to whom these concepts are not foreign or irrelevant. But when I posted my concerns, it was like an alien from Mars came and plopped into the middle of a party like a wet blanket.

If you enjoy digital scrapbooking -- and it is a fantastic option for many many reasons -- I am not saying, don't do it. What I am saying is, recognize it as a solution today for your life today. I resisted digital photography for many years, but now I am wholly digital, and I do enjoy it and it does solve problems I had with film format. However other issues came along with that switch. In order to make sure my work with my digital files is still valid and usable by more people than myself, and for the future, there is work involved. This is work that I do, and regularly.

There is a difference between a lo-res 72 dpi graphic you find on the internet and a high quality, hi-res graphic you create yourself. There is a difference between what can be seen on your screen and what you can print out. Just because a file format can be read today is no guarantee you will be able to read it tomorrow. I have Illustrator files I created in 1998 that, until this month, I have been unable to access. I have files I carefully saved on zip disks and backed up, for years... only the coupling for those older drives is not USB, the standard today. I have lost files due to hardware and software changes. I have gone to events where I forgot my camera and someone took a great photo and promised they would share it with me... then I got it and they had cropped it tight and kept it at 72 dpi. Looks great on Facebook but can I print that out? Can I blow it up? Can I use it how I want to? No. All I can do is view it on Facebook. I have officiated at weddings where I handed my camera to an assistant (I always bring my own... assistant as well as camera) and told her to document the whole thing even though there was an official photographer, and then had the bride asking me for my photos because the official photographer messed up, everything is blurry, or accidentally lost or erased the digital files.

So it bothers me when I see the big push towards digital scrapbooking (and digital photography) without commensurate discussion that this is an option now for what you want NOW, but if you want now to extend 10, 20, or more years, there is more you need to know and think about.

If you go looking at houses to buy with your new husband and you decide to buy a lovely 2 bedroom cottage, understand that if you plan to have 3-4 children, that house is going to be a problem. You will end up having to invest money in expanding the house, and can you even do that? What if you physically cannot? Financially cannot? Or you will have to upgrade to another house entirely in a few years (more money and trouble), making this house a temporary option only. Or you might end up stuck in that cute little house and then either have to decide to give up your plans of more than one child, or you will severely lose privacy and other living options as your family grows.

My irritation: Any realtor who pushes that cute little house on you without asking you about your future needs is not a good realtor at all. Realtors are selling something. And most of the people pushing digital scrapbooking are also selling something. Are these people really concerned with your future needs? No.

The very short answer to all this is, in my own opinion: print your photos and store them still, and print your scrapbook pages and put them into albums. Understand that without an investment of further time and money those print outs may be all you have in 10, 20, or more years. Just understand that now, and make your choices with eyes open. Don't be surprised by it. Understand you are digitally scrapbooking because it is a hobby you enjoy now, not because you are really preserving for the future unless you take steps to ensure that.

So back to the blog post. My comment has not appeared and I am not sure it will. But I did address some of these issues. (I also adjusted the text a bit since I was very quickly writing out just a comment, then.)

================

I found this post as I was surfing and looking for info on digital archiving. I thought I might address your queries. I have worked in digital file archiving for over 10 years. Before that I worked in museum archives, and right now I am getting a Masters in library/information sciences focusing on digital archives. Last semester I did a research project on Project Gutenberg, an organization that is utterly focused on digital migration for future access, and the source of the first ever e-book, created in 1971. You might want to look into them; there is a lot of good info on their site as well.

So here is my opinion, take it as you will. First, I would say there is no way for you to ensure that whatever digital work you do now will still be accessible as-is in 100 years. It may not be accessible in 10 years, with the rate of digital migration. Professionals know that digital archives must be migrated to new formats and new structures as technology advances. It is the way of things and no one yet has discovered a way to overcome that reality. It will be up to you and your heirs to continue to move your archives forward in keeping with technology.

As a long time scrapbooker I can also tell you there is no way to be 100% sure that your paper archive will also be usable in whatever format you choose now, in 100 years. Printing on acid free paper and storing in museum quality boxes is one really great step to take. You also have to be aware of ink properties. Last I checked, Epson did guarantee their printer inks to last for 80 years with proper care of documents. You just have to do the best you can and hope that your descendants find your work valuable enough to maintain it.

Q: Should I scan photos to jpg or tiff? The massive size of a tiff file feels ugly to me, but that size difference will be meaningless in 30 years...

Right now the main differences between those formats involve compression and file sharing. JPGs are compressed files. TIFFs contain the most digital information. For me, scanning family photos from the 1930s, I chose JPGs at the highest quality, even though they are compressed. I chose this because JPGs can be shared online. I can email them, I can upload them to an online archive, I can share them now with the most people, and I can have the images reprinted as well. When working in print production, I always scanned art as hi-res (high resolution) TIFFs because printing presses will only take TIFFs, no JPGs. TIFFs are much higher quality. However, using the JPG format, I get around the compression by scanning the most important images/photos at a very hi-res -- 600 to 800 dpi (dots per inch). Therefore, even though these files, are compressed they still contian a large amount of data.

Q: Should documents be scanned to PDF? ...Will PDF be readable in 100 years?

In my opinion -- No. I scan my documents as TIFF files, simply because when it comes to handwriting, printing, text, etc, the TIFF captures more detail. In future, your heirs may have access to OCR scanners that can read your TIFFs and create editable documents from them. With my TIFFs, I then create PDFs for the purpose of sharing with others. I keep both types of files (or share the PDFs and delete them if I need space), but given the choice, I would keep a TIFF and create a PDF as necessary from the TIFF. You cannot go the other way, you cannot turn a PDF into a better quality file. And will PDFs be readable? No way to tell. No way to tell that TIFFS will be readable either. But right now PDFs are more sharable, while TIFFs capture more data.

Q: Metadata: how do I describe every document?

There is a set of metadata standards used by all librarians (well pretty much, I'm fudging for brevity) called Dublin Core. Within Dublin there are 15 standards which are the very basic, most important. You can Google to find out what they are and adapt them for your use. The positive of using Dublin Core is that for the next several decades at least there will always be people in the world who use it. The negative is, it may not work for your personal needs.

Q: My naive idea is to create an ASCII text file (probably still readable in 100 years!) which lists each file included in the archive by name, and explains the context and signficance of each. The same document would probably include a basic biography of each family member.

I think this is a great idea. Michael S. Hart, founder of Project Gutenberg, decided in the 1970s to use what is called plain vanilla ASCII for every e-book in Project Gutenberg, because back then he knew this was the format that would continue to be readable and accessible by the most people no matter what hardware or software they use. Currently Project Gutenberg does create more browser friendly formats, but those are in addition to the plain vanilla ASCII files of every single e-book.

The sad thing I have had to learn as a scrapbooker is this: just because I think something is important now doesn't mean my descendants will find it equally as important in 100 years. So you have to tell the stories that are important to you now, using what you have now, and leave it to them to continue to care for and find valuable what you have done. I have gone to so many estate sales where I have seen large scrapbooks some woman made over the course of decades, and they are for sale to strangers for a few dollars, because there were no descendants who found what she preserved to be relevant or worth keeping.

So do the best you can and leave what you have for the future, and consider you will have to migrate and redo things on a regular basis. But what you are doing is important. I wish so so much my grandparents had written on their photos who these people were, even a name or a date would have helped. But they didn't and now they are gone and no one is left to tell me why these photos are important. And *I* would have wanted to know.

==========

So yes, this was supposed to be a short reposting, but I have had a lot to say, and I've been thinking about this topic for a couple years now. I don't know everything about the topic. And I feel like I need to keep saying this: scrapbooking is a fun hobby with a lot of value, and you (anyone) should do what you like, because you enjoy it, in a way that works for you. Just keep in mind that it is not really about what will be preserved 20 years down the road. It's about what you want to do now.

national library week.

2010-04-14T21:26:00.006-05:00

It has been a busy National Library Week so far!

Last weekend I went to a kickoff of National Library Week hosted by the Chicago Deskset. This week our campus library has been holding raffles every day and giving away stuff.

Today was my program for National Library Week, entitled What's Behind Your Library Funding? I booked a speaker to come to campus, got the student chapter of the ALA (LISSA) and the library itself to co-sponsor, promoted the event via email, blog posts and flyers, went through training to video the whole thing, and more.

I am exhausted! However it went really well. We got about 15 people, which is a good turnout for this sort of event. We had a 30 minute talk on public finance models, how tax cycles affect public libraries, and why librarians and library students need to know where the money comes from. Then we had 30 minutes of discussion. We had handouts, we had cookies, people were taking notes. It was great!

After the talk itself was over, people still hung around to chat and network for quite a while while I cleaned up.

This event was also my Leadership Vision Project, a final project for my Leadership class. It has been immensely stressful. Helping out with someone else's idea is fun and easy. Coming up with an idea yourself, pitching it to organizations and stakeholders, advocating for your idea, getting people on board, getting approval for every step along the way, juggling all the details -- it's very hard!

Now I get to write a paper on the whole experience and hand it in. whew.

================

Photo: Stephanie Carlile of the Northlake Public Library. "What's Behind Your Library Funding." Dominican University. April 2010. Taken by me.

librarian fun + letterboxing.

2010-04-12T16:20:00.002-05:00

Saturday was a Big Day in da Big City. I came home at midnight so sore, tired, and exhausted but I had a great time!

Chicago Deskset
First I went to an event sponsored by a new librarian organization in Chi-town. I drove 90 minutes to Lincoln Square for the first ever Chicago Deskset event!

The Chicago Deskset is a new organization (spinoff of the well established New York Deskset) of librarians, information professionals, bibliophiles and friends (that means, yes you are welcome to join us) who get together for socializing, charity events, professional development and more. The Chicago DS event was held at Grafton's, a pub in Lincoln Square.

It was a g o r g e o u s Chicago spring day and I found parking right on the block (SCORE). The front of the pub was rather quiet and chill, Sat afternoon and all but I went in the back room and it was JAM PACKED with librarians and book lovers.

Luckily I saw some people I knew to chat with, met some people they knew, went to the bar for a beer (it was a Belgian Abbey Ale in a custom glass and I really wish I had taken a picture of it, but this guy I was talking to was making me laugh so I didn't want to fish out my camera), hung out with more people.

The Deskset had some door prizes, including a gift certificate to the Unabridged Bookstore in Lakeview, and a book and pin set from IFA, so they made some announcements and thanked everyone for coming. Everyone who donated a book got a raffle ticket. One of the winners was the number after mine -- rats! The Deskset reports that over 100 people attended and they collected 350 books, which will be donated to Chicago-area juvenile detention centers.

As I was hanging out outside, trying to get a signal on my phone (The Grafton's historic tin roof does not play nice with cell phones) a group of people walking out paused and asked me "So, is this a book club meeting?!!?" To which I replied that this was the kickoff event for the new Chicago Deskset, and it was a book drive for incarcerated youth, and they were welcome to get involved in the next one, just google Chicago Deskset.

ahhhhhh they said. Wow, really??? These are all librarians??? They all seemed impressed. When I returned to my table and shared the conversation, we all kind of laughed and one of us said dryly, that sure sounds more impressive than we just wanted to clean off our bookshelves and drink some beer.

Chicago Letterboxing!
After beer and books, the day's fun was not over. I was off to meet my pal Amelia and search for 5 letterboxes hidden in and around THE ALLEY, a Chicago institution. I love the store and this area, but parking is a real bear so I don't get down here as often as I used to. Still the creativity and vibrancy of the area is a big draw.

We had a great time shopping, hunting letterboxes and collecting stamps, eating ice cream, taking the longest walk of my entire life (I counted and is was 46 blocks by the time we were done!) and checking out the used vinyl at Reckless Records. Also included: junkies I almost ran over with my car, excellent parking, and pizza slices bigger than my head.

All in all a fantastic day in the best city in the world.

===============

Photo 1: Chicago Deskset sign at Grafton Pub. Chicago, IL. Taken by me. April 2010.

Photo 2: The Alley. Chicago, IL. Taken by me. April 2010.

Hooray for Good Hair

2010-04-09T23:32:00.006-05:00

Getting a good hair cut is a rare experience for me. Even if I can get the cut close to what I want I always seem to end up in places with atrocious service. One of my huge pet peeves is when I go somewhere for a hair cut, manicure, etc and the staff tries to point out all my flaws and make me feel insecure so I will purchase a more expensive option. One example of this is going for a a cut and having the stylist comment on my gray hair and ask me if I have ever colored my hair. And if I do color my hair, and it comes out I do it myself, well that is terrible, so low rent, I need to get it done professionally. Oh I hate that.

So I stopped in this salon on a whim last night (really just to pet the two adorable mini dogs in there that barked at me as I went by the window) and it was the best hair cut experience of my life!

AND, just as important! They (for 2 ladies worked on me) did a fantastic job!

{when I try and look hungry and pissed off like a super model, I end up looking confused -- ain't that just how it goes?}

I woke up this morning and I had wash and go hair. It still looks fantastic!

The place is Preferred Salon in Hoffman Estates, and I wish I had known of this place about eight years ago. They do not have a website but I made sure to write a glowing review of the place when I looked for them in the online yellow pages.

I would absolutely trust this place with color or any other process. They also do waxing and I might add, they never ever mentioned this service to me. Outstanding!

Feeling Pretty Stupid Right Now

2010-04-08T04:18:00.003-05:00

For the past 2 weeks I have had this assignment due in the one class I've been blowing off all term. I don't WANT to blow it off! I really want to learn this stuff! But my other class OMG it is so stressful. Assignments and papers due every single week. A big group project we've had to work on in class. A big final project which, every time I turn around, requires something more and something complicated.

Just in the past 2 days I've had to:
- write up copy for a flyer and email ad
- write up specs for the flyer design and send with attached art to the designer
- follow up to be sure it was received
- be told the designer has no time
- drop everything and DESIGN the FLYER myself
- create an email advertisement with the copy
- contact the person who sends these out and ask her how should I handle it
- send her the copy
- wait while she got approval from one other person
- f i n a l l y get some promotion out there (nice to do all the planning but no one shows up)
- email everyone I work with to please please take my work shift next week since it conflicts with the program I am doing, and no one can do it
- email my boss to apologize and say I just can't work that time period and what should I do
- have the flyer design approved by 3 people
- find a way to actually get the flyer printed
- be told to be sure and drop off extra copies at so-and-so's secretary
- email someone else to ask about posting the event to the association blog
- and also to discuss the process of putting the flyers UP
- I guess I was supposed to get them to the Dean's office for posting approval but at this point I might skip that part
- make appointment with IT Dept to go over the A/V set up to make a podcast of the speaker

and it just goes on and on and on.

Which is why every time I sat down to do this homework, I would end up not doing it as I spent the time instead addressing the 1000 details of this ONE event, and on top of which I also have a group project for this class too so I have been working with my group, doing my part, trying to coordinate all the tasks, etc.

So the reason I am stupid is bc this whole assignment due now in um... 8 hrs seemed so hard to me. It is for an html class and we are learning CSS, the part of markup I have never learned. And I looked at the assignment sheet many times and all I saw was to do styles. Well he has been going over classes for styles so I had in my head I had to figure out how to do classes. This seemed very complicated to me. I mean I understand them in theory. But actually writing them and setting them up seemed very challenging.

I should explain, I come from an InDesign background. With InDesign, I have my text and I style it. Or an object. I style it. I select the text or object and I play around with fonts, colors, leading, spacing, orientation using various buttons and menus. Every change I make, I see as I do it, or I undo it. When the item looks how I like, I then can click on it a special way to "Create Style" and voila, the style is created. Then I can give it a name and I am done. I don't have to know in advance I am making this text Adobe Garamond 16 pts over 18 pts leading in dark red with 3p6 space before. I just select the various options and make it look right and the program keeps track, then saves it as a style, which I then name.

With html and css, I have to know in advance in my head that I want Adobe Garamond 16 pts in dark red with space before, and type all that in, and then look at it to see if it's right. I can't just select a line of type, and then choose various fonts from a menu and see how they look until I like one. I have to type in the names of the fonts to change them and see how it's affected. It is a completely different brain function and I find it hard to do.

Anyway tonight I also had to work and my boss had me working on this really complicated Google Maps thing, complicated because he did not know how to do it, i just had to figure it out. And every time I would follow directions online, it would not work or be messed up and I Have no idea why. Tonight I finally figured out a big chunk of it so I spent my work night finishing that up (now I know how to create a map and customize it) and I worked on it after I left the reference desk (oh ya I am also answering reference questions as I do this). So I finally sat down after midnight to look with dread at this pile of sample markup I have and try to connect the class style sheets to the html markup and getting all confused.

See it would have been much easier if I had just read and comprehended the directions, but I did not. I read them but I just kept associating the directions with "make a class style sheet, which is too hard."

After I sat in desperation with my textbook and read maybe 3 pages of it that I was supposed to have read many moons ago and didn't... I realized he was asking for a much much simpler task.

When I realized that I did it in maybe an hour. Too bad I realized it at 3:30 am.

Now it is 4:30 am and I have a meeting here with the IT guys at 11:00 am and then class at 1:00 pm to turn this in.

If I leave in 10 minutes I should get home and get like 4 hrs sleep if i am lucky.

All could have been avoided if I could have just UNDERSTOOD THE DIRECTIONS and seen how easy it was. Two weeks of stress, avoided!

I write this out as a big reminder bc I have not done hardly any work on the giant final project (my website) which is due in um... 3 weeks? Because it seems too complicated. It is not, I just don't know how to do it.

Have I ever mentioned that I really really really hate "figuring things out" especially technical things? I hate mysteries and puzzles and riddles. Hate them hate them. I hate "playing around" to learn things. Hate it so much.

this is the life of the baby Librarian.

Wearing Nice Underwear

2010-04-07T00:15:00.003-05:00

So I had this whole story I wrote and then I deleted it because I do not need to tell the Internetz about my underthings.

I will just say that today is laundry day and I was desperate so I broke out some items I had not worn since a break up some time ago.

I am feeling very fancy for a night of doing homework and laundry. Odd.

Happy Easter

2010-04-06T02:21:00.006-05:00

So we had a pretty rockin' Easter here even with the thunder and lightening storms. My sister and BIL hosted, my other sister came up with her family (BABY TUMMY KISSES!!!), Mom and Pops were here, my brother and his family, and more.

Shades of my childhood, filling plastic Easter eggs with money and hiding them around the house. My older nephew is so lucky since he did not have to compete with other children to try and score all the eggs. Unlike his auntie who had to trudge 6 miles one way uphill in the snow barefoot to find an egg, only to have her mean brother kick her in the shins and steal the good ones out from under her nose.

I hid them all over and we worried maybe he might miss one but nope, he was on the hunt.

In fact, one egg I forgot to fill, and when he opened it and it was empty, oh the indignant look on his face! I was trying to apologize when my brother yelled APRIL FOOLS and everyone cracked up. I guess my nephew has really been getting into playing pranks lately but this one was on him.

I don't care at all this picture is blurry and off color. This child does.not.like. his picture taken, not at all. The fact that I got him to agree to this picture while he was dancing around with the dollar he found makes this shot a winner in my eyes!

{a dollar! oh boy!}

I don't have an SLR and very active children + no flash = lots of blurry pictures. My best shots were stills of the food.

{blessed rye and rainbow bread}

My mom came out with the bowl of cucumbers and sour cream and I said "I hope you saved me some plain cucumbers without that nasty sour cream on them, Mom" and she did! I got a whole bowl to myself. Shades of childhood, thanks mom.

{cheese pierogies, lamb butter, nasty Polish cucumber salad}

This next picture is so funny to me. Most Polish people eat pierogi with sour cream and that is what my sister had, a giant tub. But when it's cheese pierogi, my brother and I, especially, want apple sauce. So my sister was digging around looking for apple sauce and she found this one sad little single serving of apple sauce and put it out. So my brother and I were just eyeballing that little cup and each other, like don't even think about it, that sauce is MINE.

{giant tub of sour cream, sad little cup of precious apple sauce, bigos which is hunters stew, Peche Lambic which is peach beer from Belgium}

We solved that problem -- my sister who was visiting (with the baby) left an Easter gift at her in laws, about 15 min away, so she went back to get it. And we called her on the way and said, hey can you get some apple sauce, and she was like FINE (heavy sigh). Then she had to find some place that was open that carried apple sauce, on Easter, it was all a trauma. She found one store and all she could talk about later was the skeevy guys giving her the eye (she was dressed up, hot mama) when she went in there and how we better eat the damn apple sauce. And in the end the little cup was enough for us, but you bet we were eating the big jar of "government apple sauce", as she called it.

That Lambic was a challenge too, I have been looking everywhere for that stuff ever since I had it at a party in January. But I thought it was sparkling wine and did not have the name of it. I kept going to liquor stores and trying to see if someone would figure out what it was but no luck. I went to four places! Finally I just asked the party hostess the name, then on Thurs I was taking no chances! I sat in the car at Binny's and Googled to find a photo of the bottle, then marched in and said "Do you have THIS" and showed the picture. Yep! 2 seconds later I had the Peche and also the raspberry one.

And after all that it looked like I might not get any, anyway. My BIL, no slouch with a wine bottle, ended up with a broken cork AND a broken corkscrew trying to get it open. This illustration cracks me up:

because my camera makes it look like he was really working it to get it open and the look on my mom's face is so soooo distressed, like OH NOES NOT THE PEACH BEER! And she is not a drinker at all so I've no idea why she looked like that but it makes me laugh.

However the STAR of the show was this adorable baby in his seersucker suit and matching bow tie!

It was hard to get a good pic of him, he was squirmy and did not like his suit. My mom had a talking egg and when you pressed the button giggled and said things like "I'm hiding!!!" and "Come find meeee!" Billy loved that egg, he is holding it and smiling when it talked to him. All the pictures with me sans talking egg, he looks distressed. But I think the Grandma pictures are more important anyway.

Once we got him into his casual clothes and he was playing on the floor with his big cousin he was a happier baby! I love these shots of them playing and interacting.

{cute boys wishing you a happy bunny day!}

It was a lovely party.

So Lucky

2010-04-05T01:05:00.002-05:00

I am so lucky for:

coffee cake, the smells of spring, daffodils in bloom, rainy skies, a place to park, two cute nephews, a new-to-me computer, fresh shaved legs, Chanel No. 5, Outfield song on the radio, group project finished, sleeping late, kissing a baby tummy and hearing giggles, hearing "i love you", my family all around me, hugs and kisses, being able to breathe, American citizenship, dr. pepper, car that runs, a wrist that is strong, friends to birthday shop for, being able to read, being able to dance, being able to sing, being able to learn, modern technology, blogs, books, movies, TV shows on DVD, libraries, having a paycheck.

How about you?

Best intentions

2010-03-31T21:56:00.002-05:00

I actually went to the grocery store at about 8:30 pm last night. I actually sat in my car and tried to surf the internet and use an iPhone recipe app to find something easy to make. I actually went into the store and picked up a Rachael Ray magazine and looked for a recipe. I actually gave up on that plan and almost left with nothing. I actually forced myself to buy some stuff. I actually brought it home and unpacked it. I actually washed out my lunchbox and prepared it for the next installment of the Cute Lunch.

Oh the best laid plans! I could have packed a lunch but I was unmotivated, even by my spiffy new groceries.

So, no lunch for me today, even though I went shopping to AVOID eating out.

Well. You cannot push the cute lunch or you will lose the cute lunch mojo. It has to be organic and free flowing. There has to be some inspiration.

This is what I told myself as I ate some onion rings and other not so healthy things today. My story, I'm sticking with it!

More Cute Lunches

2010-03-30T17:14:00.007-05:00

I would just like to say, for the record, I realize these are actually super boring lunches when compared with say, Taco Bell. I mean chicken stew and yogurt, right?

BUT. The lunchbox adds a cuteness factor which has aided me in fending off the Cyber Cafe pizza line. And has motivated me to pack a lunch even though last night I did it at 1:30 am and was scrounging for things to add. I actually opened a can of pineapple chunks I think I bought last summer, I was so desperate. But when I eat these little chunkos I do not feel financially challenged at all, I feel cute! I feel like, don't you all (I mean the other students sitting around me eating fresh Cyber Cafe pizza, not you, Internetz) just wish you had a cute lunch like mine???

I swear I should get a job as the spokesmodel for this lunchbox company.

So Voila, here is how to make very boring pantry scrounging into something you actually want to eat.

Today:

- One piece leftover pizza cut into strips.
- One whole cucumber peeled and sliced.
- One whole container of salad dressing with a few baby carrots to fill it up -- I really thought I'd be eating more salad dressing but it was too much.
- The famous pineapple chunks aforementioned.

Earlier this week:

- Chicken stew I made last weekend -- a super easy recipe I adapted to make even easier. 1 onion chopped and sauteed a few minutes in olive oil, then added one giant can (26 oz?) of low fat cream of mushroom soup, 1 bag frozen peas (should be peas and carrots but Target was out), 2 packages of precooked chicken meat I bought on sale (usually I remove the meat from a rotisserie chicken and that tastes much much better but is way messier and takes longer), stir all in the pan on the stove, then pour into a casserole pan, top with canned biscuits, bake 12 minutes at 350 (or however long you need to bake the biscuits), serve!
- Replacement biscuits -- I bake the chicken stew with a topping of biscuits but something went horribly wrong this time. I put the pan back in the oven twice, I covered with foil, took foil off, they just would not bake. Biscuits were slimy and raw inside so I scraped them off and made new biscuits separately.
- Pina Colada yogurt, my favorite!

I have to work tomorrow night too but I am debating eating before I get here and then after I leave instead of packing. Hmmmm I have some chicken stew left with biscuits included, more yogurt, another cucumber, the leftovers in the can of pineapple, bananas, one orange (if I buy some chocolate fudge pudding cups tonight, I can dip the orange segments into it for a snack), maybe more frozen peas hiding somewhere, a couple of apples...I don't know. It's very tricky to not lessen the power of the lunchbox by redoing too many of the same items in the same week.

I wonder if I have the energy to stop at the store and buy some ingredients and cook again tonight.

Technology Learning Never Ends!

2010-03-30T15:18:00.004-05:00

I'm on a learning curve here .... iPhoto did not work for me last time I tried it. It might have been a combination of having and older computer and an older version, I don't know. I have an updated version and an updated computer now but I am still reluctant. I just don't like that I would have to dump all my photos into one big folder and use iPhoto to organize them. This bothers me, especially since technology changes so much. Many people don't seem too concerned with digital migration but I really am.

So now I am trying Adobe Bridge instead. It is a more high powered version of this great cheap software I bought called Shoebox. I liked Shoebox in many ways but for some reason I never got into it. However I am really liking Bridge so far.

{me with The Big Giant Head}

This year LOM class has a whole digital component, it includes digital forums, a digital coach, lots of tutorials and videos - awesome!!!! So I got some great advice on Bridge vs iPhoto and then I watched several videos, took notes, asked more questions when I was confused -- it was great! It's very hard to try and learn new technology on your own, even if you have instructions.

I have also been learning Google Maps for a project at work and that has been a bear! Everyone uses Google Maps, it seems very easy and straightforward BUT IT'S NOT. I am now having to completely redo all this work because I got instructions I could transfer a map I created from my account to another account. It took me days to figure out how to transfer it, none of the instructions on Google worked at all, and then I finally transferred it and 90% of the information I included was stripped out!

On top of that I had to buy a piece of software called BBEdit for this computer to do html for a class I am in. And so not only am I learning the markup (not easy for me for some reason) but I have to learn this special software in order to do anything. The computer came with TextEdit but that does not work like Notepad does at all.

aaaahhhh!!!! I cannot learn any more new technology! My brain is full!

In other news, and my friend Nancey does not read this blog I am pretty sure so I am safe.. her birthday is coming up and I do not have the time to make her a gift like I do for lots of other people. She loves coffee and I am trying to buy her a coffee gift that is not too expensive (I have 3 other birthdays in April). So if anyone has any good ideas, let me know, since it is not Christmas I cannot find anything good in stores. Also I do not drink coffee so I am not regularly IN stores where there might be things to buy. I am Coffee Challenged, yo. I NEED HELP FROM THE CAFFEINATED.

Completely unrelated, I have to give a shout out to KMart.com. I don't buy clothes there and I don't buy clothes online because I need to try stuff on. Plus I think shipping costs are part of the cost of the clothes so i don't care if it's $10 for a pair of pants, if it's $7 to ship and I haven't tried them on, I am not buying. But anyway I was turned on to looking at KMart.com from Kim at Fab Finds Under $50 who said a top she was wearing was marked down to 2.99! So I looked around and a whole bunch of tops were marked down to $2.99 and many were in my size! It was $8 to ship, which is a lot to me, but I ordered maybe 8 tops? Seriously, is that is a dollar a top, I can pay that. I ordered on a Monday night and received a box Thursday night so that is pretty fast to me. Best of all almost all of these tops fit me and looked great! The funny thing about me is, stuff that looks great online or in a catalog never fits me right. Stuff that looks boring and plain in a picture looks fantastic on me. And there is a store down the street from me so I can take back the one top I won't wear and get my whole $3 back. I now have several light summer tops and even a couple dressy blouses too. Great deal, so check them out.

Ok I am at work today and my time here is almost done so later. AND I NEED COFFEE GIFT IDEAS. Please!

Photo Updatey

2010-03-18T20:57:00.018-05:00

I was just replying to a blog post elsewhere about not blogging often enough, and I said, well, if you can't write as often as others, many people seem to enjoy photo posts. People like making them, they are not writing intensive, and people like seeing them.

I have a hard time sharing photos on a public blog. Most of my photos are not meant for the General Public. (They are not naughty or anything, I am just a private person.) I frequently update my Facebook with photos, but there I control who sees them. If I had time to figure out how to post on this blog from my iPhone with pictures, I would probably update more often. For instance, yesterday I had to go to the Mall, and there I saw a very sad Easter Bunny with no children to visit him. My Facebook Posse found that photo update amusing.

But in most of the blogs I like to read and view, the blogger has a very expensive camera with gorgeous photos. I however, tend to use my phone for photos on the fly, so they are not the greatest.

So here are some random photos of my life lately....

What I do to relax when I come home from school at 4:30am (twice this week):

{watching LOST on DVD while in bed trying to fall asleep}

I have finished Season 4 so the Oceanic 6 just got off the island. I have Season 5 to go, so DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING! And then eventually I will watch Season 6, when it is available, all at once.

Below my TV are 2 white "frames" -- these are drawers. For LOM-ers, those are my Category Drawers, with patterned paper covering the front category tabs.

(This is one of those photos I wonder about sharing... because I am not going to clean up and stage the place before snapping the photo when I am taking it at 4:30 am to upload to my ShutterCal account for just myself, yannow?)

Getting a new job means the return of THE CUTE LUNCH:

{fruity curry couscous (made with orange juice and segments, golden raisins, scallions, carrots, and curry powder), apple slice cake, frozen peas to keep the lunch cold, pretzel sticks for snack}

{leftover eggroll from Chinese dinner (wrapped in plastic), banana bread in pieces, red grapefruit segments in juice, cheese crackers for snack}

{lemon pasta (made with basil and pinenuts), kielbasa on a roll (in plastic), orange segments, just a bit of a 7-layer bar)

A cute lunch is very important when trying to live within your budget. As Stacy Julian says, when you use a cute container, you feel cute! My cute bento-style lunch kit comes from Laptop Lunchbox. I was inspired to buy this kit after weeks of reading the archives at Vegan Lunchbox. I debated spending the money since it costs much less to put stuff in Gladware and carry in a plastic shopping bag, but I find with this lunch kit

- I eat up more leftovers, freezer items and random bits from the pantry I might otherwise toss out
- I am unlikely to ignore my packed lunch and eat out anyway. It was close to $50 with the shipping cost, and paid for itself many times over
- I get more variety in my lunch since I won't fill it up solely with junk food
- I manage my portion sizes better since I know how much each section holds
- Packing my lunch is a little more creative than making a sandwich and packing an apple.

When I am not packing my lunch I do eat out:

{tried Five Guys, hated their fries, probably won't try it again}

This lunch was over $10. My cute lunches are less expensive, prettier, and don't sit like a rock in my stomach.

While watching LOST (or Queer as Folk!) I like to cross stitch:

{Lemons by Bucilla, begun in January}

I usually would have had this finished by now but I am usually too tired to even stitch when I get home these days. And I am at the part of a project I dislike -- the futzing ending part.

Over break I hung out with my old friend Nancey just to chill. It was a lovely warm day but the pictures look cold.

We went to The Grove, which is a nature center and historic estate.

{walking to the nature center}

{Nancey checking out the fish}

{turtles!}

There are several letterboxes hidden at The Grove so I introduced Nancey to a fun hobby of mine. She found a box hidden in the nature center building, and it had a hitchhiker in it! A hitchhiker is a letterbox without a box or permanent home. When you find one, you take it with you, then you hide it in another box you find at some point. So she got 2 stamps, and I got the hitchhiker stamp.

Ah I had a hitchhiker on me from letterboxing last summer, so we hid that one in the box in the Nature Center and took the one we found.

I have found most of the boxes hidden at The Grove but one has eluded me so we went on a snowy hike to find it.

{"cross the bridge and walk XX number of steps..."}

We found the box, both got stamps, and transferred the hitchhiker, then re-hid it.

While looking for The Grove boxes online, I saw there was a new box recently hidden at a park nearby where I have already found 3 other boxes, so we drove a couple of miles over there. From my time in that park, I knew exactly where to look...

{"find the temple..."}

This same place in the fall is GORGEOUS!

I knew where another easy letterbox was hidden so I gave Nancey the clues and she went off to find it. With the 2 boxes at The Grove and the 2 hitchhikers she already had 4 stamps. This made her 5th. Then it was time to climb up to find her 6th....

{Nancey doing her Rocky dance}

I've been up here before...

The view from the top is of the local lake...

It's so much prettier in better weather --

After that one we'd had enough. We went to Caribou coffee and relaxed with hot drinks. We got quite a lot of exercise.

Well back to the grind. It has been nice reminding myself I do more than sit at school and hit the books.

{this post brought to you courtesy my new computer with 160 gig HD, the entire Adobe CS4 Creative Suite, AND photo organization in Adobe Bridge!}

I am not too updatey

2010-02-22T00:18:00.003-06:00

This year I am taking the LOM class as an alumni. Unfortunately my Mac broke so I spend a lot of time on the computers at school. There, I need to use earbuds to listen to the class information. Until right now, I have hated to use earbuds bc they fall out of my ears and I have to cram them in there. I just received a set of adaptors I bought on ebay.. now my earbuds are missing! These are the things I deal with.

What I really want, of course, is to replace my computer. I find spending too much time in LOM raises that beast within me. I think about getting a Mac with enough HD memory to store all my pictures and being able to get them off the external HD where I now store them, and being able to organize them and connect to Shutterfly and do all the other cool things people with expensive computers can do. (I will not buy a PC -- my external HD is Mac formatted anyway) So I do not spend time in the LOM classroom this year, and I don't listen to the slideshows and all that.

LOM also makes me want to scrapbook but I also use my computer to scrapbook, to do the journaling and create titles. I am not inspired to handwrite stuff usually.

So I am not really embracing the whole LOM thing this year as much. But I do enjoy the emails and I do read the transcripts and all that.

In other news I have a new job and I am doing reference at an academic library. I really like it. I like showing people how to use WorldCat.org to find a book we might not have a local public library, I like getting up and going into the stacks to find books for people, I like doing basic instruction in electronic databases. Sometimes our boss quizzes us and sends us reference questions he has received that are a bit more challenging than what we deal with, and asks us what we would use or how we would do it. The last question was:

I need to find out something abotu Central America and the GDP.

Well I did not know what a GDP was and while I know where Central America is I could not name you more than a few countries in that region. However I spent some time with the CIA's Fact Book online and now I am good with that.

I am taking a class in Internet Fundamentals (a prereq) and we are workign with basic markup at the moment. I just have to design a website on a topic of my choosing. I have decided to create a site on my LOM system, what I use and how it's organized. I need to take more pictures of things like my Category Drawers and my Storage Binders to use for that. I am waiting for winter to end and the light to get better to shoot those.

I am not sure if I will share the site online anywhere. I only have to present it to my class. I am also concerned with violations of Stacy's copyright. Last year she said we could blog or post about it all we wanted, especially since the basic information is in the book, which anyone can buy or read. So I think it would be ok, but I am not sure I want to buy a domain for just this.

Last night I went to the Lakeshore Theater in Lakeview (Chciago neighborhood) to see

INTERGALACTIC SEX RODEO!

by comedy troupe Big Dog Eat Child. Until I looked up the link I had no idea they were responsible for such comedy gems as Jones' BIG ASS Truck Rental and Storage!

I love all the Jones BIG ASS commercials on youtube!

The show was frenetic with random stripping that had nothing to do with the story line (boobs always bring in the crowds) and a series of comedy sketches that varied from puzzling to pee your pants funny. It was worth the tenner to see it, and I think it is important and worthwhile to support local theater, local comedy (Chicago is the home of Second City and the origins of many famous comedy stars), and the efforts of all sorts of creative people.

After the show we spent a lovely time in the early morning hours at the Melrose Diner, which was one of the many places I used to go to late night victuals after a hot night dancing at some club.

Of course this time the kid at the door of the theater had called me Ma'am. AND THEN HE CARDED ME.

To which I said, "Dood. You just called me Ma'am. And now you are carding me. Do you not see the irony???"

Ok back to my homework, here.

Cooking and Baking yum!

2010-01-24T17:53:00.006-06:00

I tried two new recipes this month.

First I tried the Peanut Butter Blossom cookies I read about in this blog post. They looked easy and I had most of the ingredients already. A quick trip to Walgreens for Hershey's Kisses and eggs and I was good to go.

The recipe and pictures from the post were deceptive. I guess what 1" balls means is different to different people. I made 1" balls and I got 12 cookies, but the recipe called for 48 Hersheys Kisses, for 48 cookies. I halved the size of the balls or sometimes even made some really tiny, much smaller than 1". I got 32 cookies out of the batch. That size was, to me, just the right proportion of chocolate to cookie. The cookies are dry by themselves; they need the chocolate.

I found, once the cookies had cooled and the Kisses hardened again, I did not like the combination. I think next time I will try using a pastry brush and swirl the softened Kisses over the cookies while still warm. I tried microwaving some of the cookies and doing that later. They tasted better but looked worse. So I'll experiment. They do LOOK nice with the solid Kisses on top, for sure.

Last week I also tried this recipe for Shepherd's Pie from one of my cookbooks. It took me longer than 30 minutes, because it takes longer than that for me to peel and boil 2 lbs of potatoes.

The recipe doesn't look all that difficult, but I had to keep 3 pots going on the stove at once -- the potatoes, the veggies/meat, and the gravy -- plus I made a sauce for mashing the potatoes. A lot of dishes and pots and ingredients going on there.

I also only had 1 lb of meat on hand so I should have halved the amount of potatoes, but I wasn't thinking. I tried bulking the filling up with extra carrots and extra frozen peas.

The recipe works like this:

- Peel and boil 2 lbs potatoes. I didn't know how to tell how many potatoes that required, so I Googled. I used a 4 cup liquid measure cup, cubed the peeled potatoes and threw them in it. 4 cups of the cubed potatoes is about a pound, close enough.

- Brown about 2 lbs ground beef, then add a chopped onion and a chopped carrot and cook longer to soften the veggies. I ended up with overcooked meat (a little too well done for my taste) and under cooked carrot. Probably due to messing with the proportions.

- Make a gravy starting with a rue, add a cup of beef broth and some Worcestershire, cook until thick. I found that I needed a lot more gravy for this recipe, possibly due to more vegetables than meat? I would just double it, it was too dry for me. Also my sister commented it needed more Worcestershire and I agreed so I would add more flavoring.

- Add the gravy to the filling and add frozen peas then cook a bit more to defrost the peas.

- Make a sauce for the potatoes and mash or whip. This made the recipe more complicated and you could possibly just mash with your usual butter or milk. BUT I love the flavor this sauce added to the potatoes. It was a combo of an egg yoke, sour cream and regular cream but I used half and half since I had some. I would make twice as much of this next time.

- Pour the filling into a baking dish. The recipe said "small" but I used a standard cake pan.

- Scoop the potatoes over the filling and spread evenly.

- Sprinkle paprika. I just sprinkled a good amount bc who knows, really?

- Pop it under the broiler. Heck I don't even know where my broiler is. I turned the oven on "BROIL" and got it really hot. The recipe said to put it 6-8" from the heat for 2-3 minutes so I pout it on the 2nd shelf. I found it had no effect. So I put it on the top shelf for another 3-4 minutes in order to brown the top.

It seemed to come out well!

Of course, it was like eating a lot of really good mashed potatoes with a little flavoring of meat and veggies in gravy, but it was a hit.

And after all those pots and pans and mixing bowls, you bet I was eating on paper plates!

I like cooking, wonder what I'll try next....

Best of 2009 Catch Up

2009-12-23T22:02:00.005-06:00

December 14 Rush. -- When did you get your best rush of the year?

When I got into graduate school. Initially, I did not get in. I did not get in to the first school where I applied, so I moved on with my life. Then I applied to my current school and after waiting and waiting, I finally called to find out the decision and was told the bad news. I wallowed for like a week. Then I asked for reconsideration and added some things to my application I had originally excluded. I was told on Jan 20th that I could register and I was so happy I thought I would explode.

December 15 Best packaging. -- Did your headphones come in a sweet case? See a bottle of tea in another country that stood off the shelves?

Nothing comes to mind for this one.

December 16 Tea of the year. -- I can taste my favorite tea right now. What's yours?

It’s not my favorite but lately I have been drinking a holiday plum spice blend from Celestial Seasonings.

December 17 Word or phrase. -- A word that encapsulates your year. "2009 was _____."

CRAPTASTIC

December 18 Shop. -- Online or offline, where did you spend most of your mad money this year?

I have had no mad money this year, really. Last spring I got a lucrative freelance gig and I treated myself to a good sized bottle of Chanel No. 5, purchased at the Chanel counter at Nordstom. I wear it every day and I never get tired of smelling like money and class.

December 19 Car ride. -- What did you see? How did it smell? Did you eat anything as you drove there? Who were you with?

At the end of the summer I took a short road trip to the small town in southern Wisconsin where I spent summers and weekends with my grandparents.

The picture is full of memories -- my younger sister wearing my hand-me-down Mustang T-shirt from my dad, the puffball bushes lining the path to the garage, the screen door I slammed over and over as I ran in and out, and of course, my grandfather.

I took pictures along the route of all the landmarks I remember from when I was a little girl, printed the pictures, wrote up the memories and created a small scrapbook. I don't have access to a printer (except at the library, where I cannot put in my own paper) so I still need to print out the journlaing blocks and adhere them.

There's nothing really exciting in there. Pictures like this:

I loved looking for the smiling sun with the cool shades on what seemed like a very long car ride to Wisconsin.

I got to the outskirts of town and then the sun was setting so I gave up. On the way back I stopped at DOG N SUDS! :-) They have the best root beer floats ever.

Here since 1963!

December 20 New person. -- She came into your life and turned it upside down. He went out of his way to provide incredible customer service. Who is your unsung hero of 2009?

My professor for the required library reference services class. No stereotypical mild mannered shusher here -- he's like Rock Star Librarian. The King of Snark. He is one of those teachers that opens your mind, sometimes forcibly, while you kick and scream and yell curse words. I fought that class and resisted writing a 70 page research paper on the Iran Hostage Crisis, of all things, but I got the most out of it in the end. He's the only grad school professor I have never really bitched about, because when I had a problem with him or his class I got right in his face about it, and I was never afraid to do so. He never dismissed my concerns, got defensive, patronized me or told me I was not understanding him because I was stupid or had not done the work, like my other professors. He was supportive and he took my criticisms seriously and then he brought my concerns to the whole class and we all discussed it together.

Also, not to be full of myself, but I really like talking to people who are smarter than me, and who think deeply, and it is not very often. It is a treat. His mind goes down paths I cannot even follow at this point. I really really like that.

He still gives me much to think about when we chat, and he always makes me laugh.

This Christmas will be hard on him due to some personal tragedy, so I send him many good thoughts. Since he is a part-time adjunct, my university chose to not have him teach in the spring. I hope he'll be back, because I think he is a fantastic teacher, and talking to him inspires me.

I can't believe the university would keep on some of these truly awful part time adjuncts, and not have him teaching. CRAPTASTIC.

December 21 Project. -- What did you start this year that you're proud of?

Oy. Grad school. I fluctuate between saying "eh, it's not that hard -- it's library school for pete's sake. How hard could it be?" and saying "Holy Crap, I cannot get this done/figure this out and it is making me nuts!"

December 22 Startup. -- What's a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?

My brother's company, owned by his oldest friend, merged with another company, also owned by an old friend, to form Utopic. My sister was hired to do the photography for their website. Should be exciting. I am proud.

December 23 Web tool. -- It came into your work flow this year and now you couldn't live without it. It has simplified or improved your online experience.

Google Reader. I used to use Bloglines and it was annoying. It did not update regularly and was difficult to navigate and organize. I switched ot Google Reader and I love it. Just not having to remember a different user ID and password makes me happy! I read a lot more blogs now and more regularly.

LOM is Open! And! New Article/LO from Stacy!

2009-12-22T18:32:00.002-06:00

You probably know this but in case you did not, registration is now open for the 2010 Library of Memories class. So head over to Big Picture Scrapbooking and sign up if you want to take it! Alumni register in January to retake the class.

Stacy put in her blog this week she is guest blogging at the Creative Therapy blog this week. There is a new LO by her and a guest post explaining it. I love how she uses all the various letters and other elements to create a giant title. I would never never never think to do that.

--------------

My Christmas shopping was small this year, but my gifts are purchased and wrapped and under the tree. I only sent out 2 cards this year and today I learned they had arrived safely. Christmas baking is done -- I usually make Andes Mint cookies from a recipe on Becky Higgins' blog. My family members love these. My sister loves butterscotch chips too, so now I am wondering if I could make these with butterscotch instead of semi sweet chips. But I would need some kind of caramel coating to mimic the Andes Mints coating and that I have not figured out. Maybe Hershy's kisses that are filled with caramel?

Over the weekend I fibbed about Santa to a little boy who refused to take a photo in front of the tree to be used on his parents' holiday cards. I was asked to try to persuade him while the parents went out Christmas shopping. Why persuade when lying works better? After winning 2 out of 3 games of Sorry, I told him I had an email from Santa and could I take a picture with him and the tree to send to Santa, so Santa would know what he looks like and could be sure to deliver his presents to the right house? It worked.

If there is a Christmas Hell I am going there for sure.

Today we had an ice/snow storm so I made chicken stew with biscuits for dinner; a nice cozy meal for a cold winter night. Last night I even cleaned the bathroom and now it smells like my favorite lemon verbena cleaner.

Hoping your holiday plans, even if small, are going well.

Best of 2009 Catch Up

2009-12-13T08:07:00.005-06:00

Time to catch up on the days I've missed.

December 4 Book. -- What book - fiction or non - touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

What Would Google Do? by Jeff Jarvis was really interesting and did have an effect on my thinking. I won the audio book on Jessican McDougall’s blog and I could not stop listening to it!

The book that completely blew me away was Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. All my life I have secretly -- or vocally -- believed certain things about the way the world, or our society at least, works. As a student of anthropology and classism, I have seen things like "the middle class" from an outsider's perspective. This book is the first time I have seen someone else articulate what I have always known to be true, things which are not politically correct, things which "other people" protest, because to see them,, really see them, would be far too damning.

Sometimes I feel like Eddie Murphy in that old SNL skit, the one where he gets dressed up as a white man and suddenly sees that all the things black people secretly suspect about white people are actually true.

December 5 Night out. -- Did you have a night out with friends or a loved one that rocked your world? Who was there? What was the highlight of the night?

I have had many nights out but none that “rocked my world” really. I went to a Mardi Gras party in January that had a very negative effect on me and on most of my important friendships, so that’s rocking my world in the negative. I went to the Chicago Blues Festival in June with my friend Amelia and that was AWESOMMMMEEE! And totally last minute. I went to the Oriental Institute with my friend Izabella in September and I was happy to spend time at one of my very favorite places. I went to a party at my friend Belinda's hosue which was unremarkable except for the drama that later ensued.

December 6 Workshop or conference. -- Was there a conference or workshop you attended that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?

I went to the American Library Association Conference in Chicago this summer. The conference was interesting, I worked a couple programs too and learned a lot, but the part that blew me away was a pre-conference day on careers in Federal libraries. We got to meet and have lunch with some of the speakers, including one of the few librarians in the Foreign Service! It was fascinating and I would love to have that job! These librarians live in a country for only 3-4 years and spend that time traveling to the surrounding territories and sharing American librarianship with our foreign colleagues. The man I met had spent 3 years in Mexico City and then 4 years in Vienna and is currently in India!

December 7 Blog find of the year. -- That gem of a blog you can't believe you didn't know about until this year.

I actually believe I am reading the same blogs I have always read. Occasionally I try a new one but they rarely keep my interest long.

December 8 Moment of peace. -- An hour or a day or a week of solitude. What was the quality of your breath? The state of your mind? How did you get there?

I have lived alone for 9 years so I get a lot of solitude, not just a moment here or there. It’s not necessarily peaceful. I use my solitude to wrestle with the great questions of life, and I have yet to find any answers.

December 9 Challenge. -- Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

To answer this question I’d have to get more personal that I’d like here on the old Internets. Let’s just say living in general was a challenge for me, and this year has been the most difficult and painful of my life. If this is growth then I want no more of it. Yet I believe deep in my heart that this sort of painful and unwilling change is what life is all about.

December 10 Album of the year. -- What's rocking your world?

Sadly nothing. I asked for 2 CDs for my birthday this year. The first was Whitney Houston’s new album, which is just awful. I am not usually a fan of hers but she sang a very inspirational song live on TV this past fall and I loved it so much I hoped the rest of the album would be just as good. It was not. That was the only decent song on it, and the studio version had no soul or power at all compared to the live performance I saw. I guess all those drugs did a number on Whitney’s voice bc she no longer has the range and power that she used to have. I still listened to that one song over and over again but the rest of the album, maybe twice.

The 2nd CD was Mariah Carey’s new album, Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel. I was very excited to have a new MC album to listen to ON my birthday bc in 19 years, that has never happened! The first song on the album, "Betcha Gon' KNow", absolutely blew me away and I listened to it over and over. Unfortunately the rest of the album was a wash. The only other song on the album I liked at all was her remake of “I Want to Know What Love Is”, sung with a gospel choir. That song is why I am a fan of hers. If only she would sing like that more often. The rest of the album was same old same old, slow and sloppy. However, there is a new remix of “H.A.T.E.U.” that turns that glop of a song into something good.

I am much more of a single song person than an album person or a single artist person. I like a lot of variety in my music.

December 11 The best place. -- A coffee shop? A pub? A retreat center? A cubicle? A nook?

My best place this year was the Library Lab at school. I spent a lot of productive hours there this year.

December 12 New food. -- You're now in love with Lebanese food and you didn't even know what it was in January of this year.

Nothing comes to mind, though I did have a lot of great food this year. Chicago is a great town for food.

December 13 What's the best change you made to the place you live?

I had it professionally cleaned.

Best of 2009 Challenge

2009-12-03T21:33:00.007-06:00

So I found out about The Best of 2009 Blog Challenge on Gwenbell.com and I'd like to participate. 2009 has been an incredibly hard year for me... but in the midst of the darkness there have been moments of joy and moments of beauty. This seems like a really great way to document those.

Not sure I will get to it every individual day but I want to try and answer all the prompts if I can. My answer might be "N/A" though!

When doing a project like this... you just never know how well it will turn out. I did Scrap Your Day with Shimielle Lane and found in the midst of darkness there was joy. Hopefully this will do the same but in a month not a year!

I may also Tweet some of these.....

Dec 1 --What was your best trip in 2009?

I believe my only trip was our annual camping trip to Wisconsin Dells in July. This year my friend Iza came and brought her 13 year old daughter so I was glad to see them! We sat around the fire drinking beer, I got to cook something for the group, finally, and we had lunch at a Caboose Hot Dog Stand that serves the only Polish Taco in the Dells! (it was too gross to order)

December 2 -- Restaurant moment. Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?

hmmm more on this later... it was NOT the Polish Taco place. I want to say Kuma's Corner where I had the Lair of the Minotaur burger. Burger. pancetta. hunk of brie. bourbon soaked pears (OH YES). on a pretzel roll.

2 hour wait was worth it!

*rummage* *rummage*

I thought I had pictures... oh wait!

December 3 Article. What's an article that you read that blew you away? That you shared with all your friends. That you Delicious'd and reference throughout the year.

I would have to say an article about The Long Tail has really influenced my thinking. Apparently the average American's taste is far less mainstream than we've been led to believe. Because, given the chance, the average Amercan (yes, Joe Schno and Susie Housewife) will wander off the beaten path and find things they like in out of the way places. However, we never knew that, because physical limitations of space and resources have forced the public mainly onto the one path.

I also loved this article: Stop Trying So Hard

THE PROMPTS!

December 1 Trip. What was your best trip in 2009?(+ giveaway)

December 2 Restaurant moment. Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?

December 3 Article. What's an article that you read that blew you away? That you shared with all your friends. That you Delicious'd and reference throughout the year.

December 4 Book. What book - fiction or non - touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?

December 5 Night out. Did you have a night out with friends or a loved one that rocked your world? Who was there? What was the highlight of the night?

December 6 Workshop or conference. Was there a conference or workshop you attended that was especially beneficial? Where was it? What did you learn?

December 7 Blog find of the year. That gem of a blog you can't believe you didn't know about until this year.

December 8 Moment of peace. An hour or a day or a week of solitude. What was the quality of your breath? The state of your mind? How did you get there?

December 9 Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?

December 10 Album of the year. What's rocking your world?

December 11 The best place. A coffee shop? A pub? A retreat center? A cubicle? A nook?

December 12 New food. You're now in love with Lebanese food and you didn't even know what it was in January of this year.

December 13 What's the best change you made to the place you live?

December 14 Rush. When did you get your best rush of the year?

December 15 Best packaging. Did your headphones come in a sweet case? See a bottle of tea in another country that stood off the shelves?

December 16 Tea of the year. I can taste my favorite tea right now. What's yours?

December 17 Word or phrase. A word that encapsulates your year. "2009 was _____."

December 18 Shop. Online or offline, where did you spend most of your mad money this year?

December 19 Car ride. What did you see? How did it smell? Did you eat anything as you drove there? Who were you with?

December 20 New person. She came into your life and turned it upside down. He went out of his way to provide incredible customer service. Who is your unsung hero of 2009?

December 21 Project. What did you start this year that you're proud of?

December 22 Startup. What's a business that you found this year that you love? Who thought it up? What makes it special?

December 23 Web tool. It came into your work flow this year and now you couldn't live without it. It has simplified or improved your online experience.

December 24 Learning experience. What was a lesson you learned this year that changed you?

December 25 Gift. What's a gift you gave yourself this year that has kept on giving?

December 26 Insight or aha! moment. What was your epiphany of the year?

December 27 Social web moment. Did you meet someone you used to only know from her blog? Did you discover Twitter?

December 28 Stationery. When you touch the paper, your heart melts. The ink flows from the pen. What was your stationery find of the year?

December 29 Laugh. What was your biggest belly laugh of the year?

December 30 Ad. What advertisement made you think this year?

December 31 Resolution you wish you'd stuck with. (You know, there's always next year...)